maskormenace

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Choose your own adventure story.

Ready? Go!

You awaken from a deep slumber to find yourself in a forest. You have no idea how you came to be here, sprawled on ground, but at least you feel well-rested. As you sit up, you realize that you're on the edge of a wide, worn path. Ahead of you, the path forks. To the right, the path continues well-trodden and obviously more well-used. To the left, the path is still clearly visible and unobstructed, but is obviously doesn't get the same amount of use. Do you...

A. take the path to the right?
B. take the path to the left?
C. take the path away from the fork?

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Path to the left! Sounds more interesting.

Away from the fork, definitely.

Left it is!

You decide to head left, intrigued by what may diverge from the main road of the area. The land slowly slopes downward as you step over rock and root, careful to mind your footing. Perhaps it's because you're not looking up that you don't notice you're being watched. Then again, even if you were looking up, the small bird that's watching you as it hops from branch to branch wouldn't be all that noticeable anyway.

You're oblivious to its attentions until it speaks. His voice is soft and polite. "Hello, there. I haven't seen you before. Maybe you didn't know it, but the river's ahead. Do you have a coin for the ferry?"

A. "Of course! I always carry my wallet flush with cash with me!"
B. "No. I guess I'll have to find another way across."
C. "No. I guess I'll have to knock the ferryman over and hijack the ferry."

The right. Most lonesome right now, isn't it?

Instead of picking from one of the paths ahead of you, you turn around and head in the opposite direction. Eventually, the thickness of the woodland around you begins to lessen, and you soon find yourself before a great field of rolling hills, all tall grass and wildflowers. In some distance ahead, there is a small cottage. A light in the window and smoke from the chimney indicate that somebody is home.

A. Go to the house. Maybe the resident knows what's up.
B. Bump that! Time to frolic!

Let me guess; just flying across the river isn't an option?

Either way, B. I'm always leaving my wallet in my other tights.

Probably unusually empty for how well-used it seems, yes.

You go right. As you're walking, you observe that the path features prints from horses and grooves from carriage wheels, but you encounter neither horse, carriage, nor man. The day is fair, though, and you press on without allowing this to sink in and something foreboding. Eventually, you come to a city gate, which is also strangely unpopulated, empty save for one guard. He seems pretty bored, leaning his weight onto the pike he's armed with. When he sees you, he perks up in an attempt to seem like he's doing his job as diligently as possible.

"You, there," he states brusquely. "Have you permission to be out this day?"

A. "Yes. Obviously."
B. "No..?"
C. "I have no idea what you're talking about or what's going on."

Hmm. So brusque, and here I am simply minding my own business. Well! I will go with Option A.

"Yes. Obviously."

We're running on a non-superhero AU system, here.

"I know a way," he bird offers cheerfully. "A little ways down, the river turns wide and deep. The current is much more gentle there. You can swim across. You'll have to be careful of the warblegurble, though."

He obviously thinks this is very helpful and valuable advice. For your part, you can't tell how serious and issue something called a warblegurble is.

A. "Sure. I can do that."
B. "What's a warblegurble?"
C. "I don't want to get wet. Any other options?"

Just making sure.

What's a warblegurble? I'm actually curious.

He's probably just one of those guys that gets all puffed up when you give him the slightest authority. Don't take it personally.

The guard frown slightly. Darn! Clearing these things is always way less amusing than just arresting people! After a little huff, he manages to put on a thin vineer of good manners. He still doesn't smile, though. What a grump!

"If that's so, I'll need to see your Letter of Mission."

A. "Yikes. I think I left it in my other pants. Do you accept Declarations of Duty?"
B. "I don't have one."
C. Realize you can't bluff a written document, turn and run away.

"It's a beast!" The bird answers matter-of-factly, coupled with a little nod. "He often sleeps on the riverbed, and he's an absolutely dreadful singer. If you make too much noise, he might wake up and decide to have you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

You decide that birds don't give very helpful advice or answers. While it's harmless to know that a warblegurble can't sing or that it's pretty economical with its meals, you still aren't sure how fearsome it actually might be. After all, what's a beast to a small bird?

A. You decide to take your chances swimming across the river.
B. You decide to not worry about crossing for now. You'll head upriver instead, where you're bound to run into people eventually.
C. You go back the way you came.

Hmm. Tough call.

But I think I'll take my chances with the river.

Oh, concerning! And I am usually so good with my paperwork. Hmm. Option A again, I think. Surely even he must appreciate a duty declared.

Why not? You'll try the swimming thing! This bird is probably a little off-base, and you can probably manage to swim stealthily enough to avoid any teeth-y fish or whatnot. You inform the bird and allow him to lead you to the smooth spot in the river. It is deep, it is wide, and you wade in.

So far, so good. You start to swim across the river, moving carefully to avoid disrupting the water as much as possible. You're about halfway across when you hear an unexpected splash behind you. Pausing, you turn your head and realize that the bird has thrown a stone into the water. It's a trap!

A. You continue across the river hurriedly.
B. You turn back to your previous shore.
C. You stay there ask the bird what the heck he's doing.

Right! A Declaration of Duty! Hopefully you can say something official enough to get a pass from this guy. Let's see...

A. "I was sent by the King to collect tax stuff."
B. "I was sent by the Queen to collect artisan soaps."
C. "I was sent by the Archbishop to check on the holy water situation."

However intimidating the tax collector might be, I fear he would quiz me on deductibles and other peasant details that I cannot say I am well versed in. And nor am I a man of the church. [Quite the heretic, actually.] I'll claim that I was sent by the Queen herself.

Artisan soaps sound lovely.

[ oh no, stories are a huge attention grabber for hinami, oops. ]

Before choosing, are there any...smells or anything, from each road?

Geez, bird. What a jerk. Are you sure I can't just feed him to the warblegurble?

Okay. I'll hurriedly continue across the river.

He's a little high to reach, right now.

Screw being careful now! You launch yourself into the best stoke you can manage! Despite your obvious athletic prowess, however, you very quickly find out that 'warblegurble' much be bird-speak for 'very large crocodile.' The beast surfaces loudly just behind you, jaws already wide open. They shut with a vicious snap, and you know in no uncertain terms that it has you by on leg. The pain in incredible, but your desire for survival allows you to rise above how distracting the sharp-toothed vice is.

How to get out of this mess?

A. Struggle, kicking wildly with your free leg at the beast's face.
B. Go limp, allowing the beast to drag you under.

[ Welcome to Laurie's hell. ]

Usually, extra bits are cheating, but I'll allow it.

It smells forest-y, like fresh air and greenery. You may be able to tell that it rained not SO long ago, and the faint smell of horse manure tells you that horse's travel the road you're currently on.

D. stay where I am until I remember how I came here

[ of course the Doctor cheats at these things. ]

Away. Absolutely away from the fork.

To the right, please.

Is that a trick question?

I'm going to fight to survive, of course.

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