5 [Video]

[ret2go]

[The camera has clearly been set up on some sort of stand, facing a rather nondescript storefront that would be utterly unremarkable if not for the various streamers and ribbons somewhat haphazardly strung up on the front. A girl with far too much hair has her face right up in the screen, frowning intently at it as she fiddles with the settings; she goes in and out of focus.] Why does this always have to be so complicated...?

[Satisfied at last, she steps back.] Heelloooooooo everybody! Have you ever had a wish that deep down you really wanted to come true? Don't lie, we know you have!

Well, wish no longer! [She pauses for a moment.] I mean, keep on wishing, but... but you don't have to wish for the--

--anyway, your wishes can come true here at Shantae's Wish Palace! For a modest fee, we can grant your wishes three! Oh hey, that rhymed.

Visit us downtown today! Now hiring lawyers and, uh, suggestions for a better name. We're workshopping it.

[She takes a deep breath.] Notallwishesaregrantabletheuseofthisserviceisuptogeniediscretioncustomerscannotwishformorewishesor [she gasps for air] for more genies. Darn, I almost had it!

Comments

video

[dendarii]

[ Well this is new. ]

You grant wishes? Really?

video

[ret2go]

Yup! It's kind of a genie thing!

I mean, as far as I know.

[am_i_a_monster]

Can people wish to change the past?

[ret2go]

That would... probably be a little beyond the scope of what I can do.

video;

[23wishes]

Do you think you could bring me something from home?

[Ignore that they live together and she's probably like 20 ft away right now.]

video;

[ret2go]

I can sure as heck try! And I'm like ninety percent sure that if the wish doesn't work, it doesn't count against your three.

Whatcha want?

( video )

[drizzle]

Keep practicing that last part. You just needed four more seconds or so to reach your goal!

[At least the best vocalist of her kingdom back home believes so! It was clear she was definitely cheering for her success while all at once pondering on the offer too. Really thinking about it.]

...I guess wishing for someone to be brought here from back home falls under that disclaimer...?

( video )

[ret2go]

I can get it if I'm whispering, but no way I can talk that long with a normal voice...

I have a feeling that might be beyond what I can do. From what I've gathered of the Porter, it's kinda finnicky about anyone muscling in on its gig. So nobody coming or going.

[ofwilds]

That sounds dangerous.

...

And highly improbable.

[ret2go]

It is not! I've done it tons of times and it's worked just fine!

--okay, maybe like three times! But it's still worked.

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

Have you tried the "send me back home" wish before?

[ Video ]

[ret2go]

Won't work. Porter's pretty picky about that kind of thing.

video;

[helpline]

Points for keeping things unparadoxified, by the way. Those are always a mess to clean up.

Anyway, wishes! You've got yourself a customer, right here. How d'you want to do this?

video;

[ret2go]

Thanks! I don't even want to think about what a pain in the butt it'd be.

You could come to see me in Nonah. I think it works better in person, but I haven't exactly tested it empiricistally.

video

[h2no]

Ya did, kid! Good job!

[archie laughs enthusiastically.]

I got two left, right?

video

[ret2go]

Thanks, Archie! It was a lot of help to get that practice in!

Yep, you got two to go. Let me know when you've figured out what you want to use them on!

Video

[tacticianing]

[So that's why she was asking about wishes earlier.]

What sort of wishes are grantable?

Video

[ret2go]

Uh, it's complicated? Nobody wrote down any hard rules for me, so I'm kind of discovering it as I go.

The main rule I've worked out is that I can't do anything that messes with the Porter. So no coming or going. Other than that, the smaller and more specific the wish, the better.

[NOT HERE]

[substrategist]

[Totally watching this unfold like...

Kidou...]

[dirtyredneck]

Wouldn't be able to bring anyone back here, would you?

[He doesn't really expect her to be able to, but it's worth the ask.]

[ret2go]

No can do. Porter stuffs. Even my magic has its limits.

video;

[reexamined]

What are the parameters?

video;

[ret2go]

I'm working those out as I go along, honestly. Not many people want to waste their wishes on finding things out, since you only ever get three.

I wouldn't charge for a wish that doesn't work, though!

Video

[exsithstential]

In spite of my fear that this may have been asked of you before: Can you bring into existence something of which you have no knowledge?

[Is this... even worth trying to logic? It seems a bit unfathomable if it's as advertised. But she did say to Revan some time ago that it'd be something pretty spectacular.]

Say there's a unique element from my universe that may only exist there, and is highly technical. To the point I could not exactly explain what it is in it's entirety to you?

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[ret2go]

...maybe? Iunno. It's magic. The rules are a little weird sometime.

I can try.

Video

[pummelgranite]

[ Oh, it's the cute girl from the concert. ]


Wishes. Like a genie?

Video

[ret2go]

[Hey, it's the badass girl from the concert.]

Yep! Three wishes. And it's, uh, half-genie, actually.

[aboveand]

Were none of the porter cities hiring a guardian genie?

[He smiles to show he's joking.]

Congratulations on the new business.

[ret2go]

They sure weren't! I guess there just isn't a pirate problem in this part of the world these days. Thanks a bunch though!

late : )

[resipiscent]

If I ask you for a fruit, can I specify that I'd prefer to keep it from rotting?

[ret2go]

Probs. We'd have to be careful about the wording, though. "I want a fruit that doesn't decompose!" means that if you eat it, that's stuck in your stomach as a solid, and the results of that can't be fun.