Dawn of the Dead - [Video]

[deadsmizing]

[Faint pop music plays from just off camera, and a young woman with pale skin and platinum blond hair lounges on a lawn chair somewhere with a copy of As I Lay Dying on her lap (har har), soaking up the sun and chewing on a piece of gum. With her complexion, the rays seem desperately needed but should leave her at quite the risk for sunburn if she's not careful! In any case, right now she's clearly not thinking about that, as she is quite busy adjusting the angle of the camera sitting next to her, even going so far as to lift her sunglasses onto the top of her head to get a better look and make sure everything is perfect.

Once she's satisfied, she smiles, nods, and blows a big, pink bubble that pops quite loudly.]

Pop quiz, everybody. Karen DeSonne here, your intrepid undead girl reporter.

Oh, wait. Reporters don't... give pop quizzes, do they? [She taps her chin thoughtfully.] Intrepid undead substitute teacher? Sure, let's go... with that.

I've heard a lot of talk about powers and heroes and nano-something-or-others since I got here, but other than how we're a problem... this world would be blessed to be rid of or something like that, not a lot about monsters. Creepies. Crawlies. Spooky, scary... skeletons. Can I get a head... count on how many of you out there are the things that go bump in the night? Maybe we can start a club. Also, those of you who'd rather kill a zombie than buy her a caffè Americano and a white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie, you can chime in too. Then we'll both know exactly who to keep... our distance from, won't we?

[The sunglasses are slid back down over her eyes, and Karen leans back into prime sunning position. Then, almost as an afterthought:]

Bonus question, before class is dismissed. Any idea what this place needs our type around for? They say when there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth. So what does... that say about an... Earth that's desperate to have us?

Comments

[Video]

[pale_blue_arrow]

No creatures of the night where I'm from - or if there are, humans beat 'em to the punch when it came to evil - but while I despise caffè Americano, I'd be a lot more willing to buy you one than hit you unless you'd killed somebody first. Even then, last I checked murder wasn't the solution. Doesn't bring back the dead.

Anybody tries to bury you just for the crime of existing, tell me. I'll have words with 'em. [He's had too much of people dying for no good reason back home. The fact that she looks like his ex is just running up the score regarding his protective instincts.]

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[deadsmizing]

Well, aren't you sweet? Already jumping to a stranger's defense.

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[pale_blue_arrow]

A stranger who so far hasn't done anything. People oughta be judged for what they've done, who they are and their bad taste in coffee, nothing else. [He shrugs, a twinge of a playful smile tugging at his lips for a second.] Sorry I don't have any deep answer for you regarding your walking the Earth but I blew all my deep thoughts back home on a paper arguing Tolstoy's theological subtext. All I've got now is my fists and a phobia of Microsoft Word.

[The best part about that is the deadpan with which he delivers that statement, drier than the desert he used to live in.]

[deadsmizing]

[She decides to respond in kind with her best UNDEADpan, which involves speaking slowly, haltingly, and with little inflection, like most of the zombies other than Karen do back home.]

And... they say... we're... the threat to... your brains.

[pale_blue_arrow]

A lot of people here are high schoolers. Nothing to threaten. [There's something about a zombie doing a zombie impression that seems offensive enough to cross right over into being funny, and he smiles, a small smile, but a real one, which is rare for him.]

[deadsmizing]

Good to know.

[A thoughtful pause.]

Though somehow that raises even more questions about... this place, doesn't it?

[pale_blue_arrow]

Yeah. Makes no sense that if it were pulling from a random pool of people from so many different places, this many would end up in the same age range. I'm not great with numbers, but even I can see things are skewed towards a younger demographic. [He puts his hands in his pockets, looking thoughtful.] Every question just raises five more here, huh?

[deadsmizing]

Hopefully not every time.

[pale_blue_arrow]

Heard once that in the face of uncertainty, all man has is God, hope and vodka. I don't really do faith and I don't drink, so looks like we're gonna have to hope this all makes sense later. There really oughta be some kind of guide they could hand out to address the F-A-Qs here.

[deadsmizing]

Yeah, the information I got... was helpful but not exactly comprehensive.

[pale_blue_arrow]

They're giving us bare bones. Either that means they're keeping things from us or they really don't know much of what's going on. Up to you which of those is the worse possibility.

[deadsmizing]

A little early to say. I'll get back to you if I figure it out though.

[pale_blue_arrow]

Likewise. So far the people seem decent enough, at least. That's a step up from the status quo - where I'm from, anyway. Won't speak to your life. Is it anti-zombie to ask what you eat and if you're gonna be able to get ahold of it here? I'd hate to think you got yanked here just to starve to death.

[deadsmizing]

It's fine.

I don't eat anything actually, though sometimes I like smelling the things I... used to like. I can't tell... you how much I miss strawberries.

[pale_blue_arrow]

That sounds rough. Wish I knew enough about science to help but that's never been my scene. Sorry.

[deadsmizing]

Don't worry about it. The thought's appreciated though.

[pale_blue_arrow]

If I ever stumble across strawberry perfume or somethin', I'll toss it your way. Guess that's the best I can do, times being what they are.

[deadsmizing]

Again, you're just too sweet.

[pale_blue_arrow]

Not really. Catching me on a good day isn't a good indicator of who I am. But you're sweet to say so. [What are compliments and how do you take them.]

[deadsmizing]

I guess I'll... just have to wait and see next time, won't I?

[pale_blue_arrow]

Guess so. [He pauses, because he's terrible at making friends and worse at keeping them, but then manages to ask casually,] So, if you're new like I am, that means we're probably in the same city, right? I'm in Heropa, 001.

[deadsmizing]

[She gives a brief, but very artfully-fashioned frown.]

De Chima actually. But that doesn't mean we have to be strangers.

[pale_blue_arrow]

It's not that far away, [he agrees, nodding slightly. A smile threatens to break through his carefully-maintained deadpan veneer again, which he barely holds in check.] Might be nice to know somebody here who's still trying to figure things out, instead of all the old guard who have their own sagas set in motion.

[deadsmizing]

And you know how to reach... me anytime. Which you know I mean, because I don't even sleep.

[pale_blue_arrow]

I keep crazy hours, so don't mind if I take you up on that. Although I have to wonder if I'd miss sleeping or use it to read all the books on my to-read list. [On the one hand, sleeping was like turning the world off for a bit, and that was definitely a needed and healthy thing. On the other, he'd yet to read all of Dostoyevsky's work and he really wanted to read The Brothers Karamazov. Don't you get bored, being up when the rest of us are konked out?