Dawn of the Dead - [Video]

[deadsmizing]

[Faint pop music plays from just off camera, and a young woman with pale skin and platinum blond hair lounges on a lawn chair somewhere with a copy of As I Lay Dying on her lap (har har), soaking up the sun and chewing on a piece of gum. With her complexion, the rays seem desperately needed but should leave her at quite the risk for sunburn if she's not careful! In any case, right now she's clearly not thinking about that, as she is quite busy adjusting the angle of the camera sitting next to her, even going so far as to lift her sunglasses onto the top of her head to get a better look and make sure everything is perfect.

Once she's satisfied, she smiles, nods, and blows a big, pink bubble that pops quite loudly.]

Pop quiz, everybody. Karen DeSonne here, your intrepid undead girl reporter.

Oh, wait. Reporters don't... give pop quizzes, do they? [She taps her chin thoughtfully.] Intrepid undead substitute teacher? Sure, let's go... with that.

I've heard a lot of talk about powers and heroes and nano-something-or-others since I got here, but other than how we're a problem... this world would be blessed to be rid of or something like that, not a lot about monsters. Creepies. Crawlies. Spooky, scary... skeletons. Can I get a head... count on how many of you out there are the things that go bump in the night? Maybe we can start a club. Also, those of you who'd rather kill a zombie than buy her a caffè Americano and a white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie, you can chime in too. Then we'll both know exactly who to keep... our distance from, won't we?

[The sunglasses are slid back down over her eyes, and Karen leans back into prime sunning position. Then, almost as an afterthought:]

Bonus question, before class is dismissed. Any idea what this place needs our type around for? They say when there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth. So what does... that say about an... Earth that's desperate to have us?

Comments

video

[ghoulking]

The Porter has defenses, plus if we mess with it, we risk being stuck here forever or make everything worse.

[deadsmizing]

Well, someone... should probably figure out how to get past that then.

[ghoulking]

Everyone has been trying. The government, and some imPorts that did manage some contact.

But going in blindly is risky and no one wants bad things happening. [ like being stuck here forever ]

[deadsmizing]

Well, as long as people are trying, that's something.

[ghoulking]

I'm sure the Porter will just send them back home before anyone can accomplish anything.

[deadsmizing]

So we should all... just give up and accept whatever happens to us? Isn't that kind... of a sad way to live?

[ghoulking]

[ he shakes his head ] The Porter is not a simple thing.

This is an alien machine with alien technology, and with an AI that can send you back to your world- or never send you back. If you mess with it so much that you destroy it, there is no way back because it can't be rebuilt since nobody knows where it came from. It can give inhuman powers and take them away. It can contact anything on this planet as it wishes, and drop you in the middle of the Atlantic ocean if it feels threatened. It can bring people who are dead back to life and heal them too.

So you don't just "do something". You need to know what you are doing or a lot of people can get hurt. [ but not many people know what to do. ]

[deadsmizing]

Oh, wow, if it were up to me, we'd be hitting it with sticks... and rocks. Thank you for stopping me.

[She's new, not an idiot. Her smile is light though, softening the sarcasm, rather than sharpening it.]

Just because... something's strange and we don't understand it yet doesn't... mean we should assume the worst and never try to learn anything about it or maybe even talk to it. Even if it takes time. [A pause.] Also, it doesn't mean there aren't better ways to welcome new people than telling them repeatedly how pointless it... is to try to change anything for the better.

[ghoulking]

[ if you only knew the amount of people that think hitting it with sticks and rocks is the best way to go about it, you'd be surprised. Many people that arrive here are angry enough to want to destroy the thing - and they do mean it ]

I never said it was pointless. And we have spoken to her before, but Lachesis is very difficult. [ and megalomaniac, too ] I don't think making it sound like we will have results tomorrow will help you in any way. [ there are people who have been here for over three years ]

However, she does sends people home often on her own whims. Monthly, even.

[deadsmizing]

[Uh-huh. Sure, buddy.]

Well, good for them.

[ghoulking]

[ whatever floats her boat, honestly. You do you. ]

Good luck.

[deadsmizing]

Thanks, I guess?

[There's more than one way to be realistic, but if he wants to break everyone's spirits that badly, it's his prerogative. She's just not about that #NegativeNancyLife]