maskormenace | Dawn of the Dead

[Faint pop music plays from just off camera, and a young woman with pale skin and platinum blond hair lounges on a lawn chair somewhere with a copy of As I Lay Dying on her lap (har har), soaking up the sun and chewing on a piece of gum. With her complexion, the rays seem desperately needed but should leave her at quite the risk for sunburn if she's not careful! In any case, right now she's clearly not thinking about that, as she is quite busy adjusting the angle of the camera sitting next to her, even going so far as to lift her sunglasses onto the top of her head to get a better look and make sure everything is perfect.

Once she's satisfied, she smiles, nods, and blows a big, pink bubble that pops quite loudly.]

Pop quiz, everybody. Karen DeSonne here, your intrepid undead girl reporter.

Oh, wait. Reporters don't... give pop quizzes, do they? [She taps her chin thoughtfully.] Intrepid undead substitute teacher? Sure, let's go... with that.

I've heard a lot of talk about powers and heroes and nano-something-or-others since I got here, but other than how we're a problem... this world would be blessed to be rid of or something like that, not a lot about monsters. Creepies. Crawlies. Spooky, scary... skeletons. Can I get a head... count on how many of you out there are the things that go bump in the night? Maybe we can start a club. Also, those of you who'd rather kill a zombie than buy her a caffè Americano and a white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie, you can chime in too. Then we'll both know exactly who to keep... our distance from, won't we?

[The sunglasses are slid back down over her eyes, and Karen leans back into prime sunning position. Then, almost as an afterthought:]

Bonus question, before class is dismissed. Any idea what this place needs our type around for? They say when there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth. So what does... that say about an... Earth that's desperate to have us?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, yes. Those people are extremely gauche.

But you're not like them.

I'm a natural, and I'm a socialite, not a charlatan!

So what does... that look like? What do you do exactly?

Mostly I spend time with my husband, visit with the cream of Manhattan and pour myself a martini or ten. Being a medium isn't about doing, darling, it's about natural talent! I've been able to speak with the dead since I was a little girl, when I didn't realize my doting grandparents were no longer among the living!

That must've been a surprise.

Oh, my parents were much more surprised than I was. They hadn't forgotten the funerals.

The feeling of a funeral does tend to change... when you might talk to... them again anyway, doesn't it?

I never got to have mine. [She lets out a soft, amused breath and shakes her head.] But they still wouldn't take the coffin back. How funny is that? It's... not like it was used.

That's very poor customer service, and highly presumptive on their part! Not all undead want to make beds out of their coffins, and it's specist of them to assume you would. I hope you gave them a good talking-to.

I think my parents might have?

[She trails off, looking like she's trying to remember, but shakes her head after a moment.]

Though, to be fair, I do still... use the pillow. So that assumption wouldn't be completely off-base.

For your sake, I hope it's a very good pillow. Though I suppose you left it behind when you came through the little porter machine.

True. Though I don't really sleep, so it was mostly just decoration anyway.

Goodness, you must have a lot of free time then!

Nothing but. Can you imagine?

I must say, I'm a little jealous! There are so many things I could do if I didn't have that pesky need for sleep.

Death definitely has its benefits.

Doesn't it? Not that one should rush in, but it's best to think of the silver lining in any occasion.

Dawn of the Dead - [Video]

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whoops I got thread confused with the textfont

that sneaky courier...!

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