text; idk hi

[rekt]

[ exhibit A of why teenagers shouldn't be allowed to stash booze and live without supervision. here's john murphy, professional underaged human garbage. ]

heropians, super freaks, import nation, whatever the hell we're supposed to be calling ourselves. importkru? im not even drunk enough for that.

i need an advice column. i have dilemmas.

1 - what do u do when ur teen orgy roommates keep a man sized devil bird as a pet and ur pretty sure its gonna try 2 eat ur eyeballs some night? its name is henrietta, which makes it sounds like it should b wearing a frilly dress + a sun hat idk but its hideous

2 - what abt when the guy ur getting free money from needs a revenge boot up his ass but u need more popsicles?

3 - was ne1 else a lot more badass in nightmare soviet america than currently?

4 - whats the perfect gift that says 'thx 4 the free housing but ur virgin experimenting is awkward 2 b around'?


ps, hahaha i love the problems i have here, god bless america

Comments

[divaricate]

1: all the more reason to have someone with those abilities test it? [not that she's about to volunteer her telepathy.]

3: Maybe? My line of thinking was it would make more of a passive aggressive point.

[rekt]

1. yea ok fair point. where do i put an ad out 4 that kinda thing? community board?

3. true. what else goes w bananas? cherries? eggplants if i want to go fruit + veggie basket

[divaricate]

1: That, or this network would be my first suggestions.

3: definitely both of those. apples, coconuts.

[rekt]

1. thatll have 2 b next drunk texting round, i already spent my token on this post

3. honestly didnt realize how many fruits/vegtables could b pornogrphic

[divaricate]

1: Fair enough.

3: right? I might offer to make you suggestive looking desserts to put in that for laughs too but I would probably have to be the drunk one.

[rekt]

3. that can absolutely b arranged

[divaricate]

only if it's not the really cheap kinds of american alcohol because that stuff is gross and also has the worst hangovers.

[rekt]

im p sure its either magic or irish booze idk maybe both

[divaricate]

either or both, A+, there are no alcohol crimes being committed here. on that note, magical irish booze sounds like it would taste really good.

[rekt]

i can promise u it definitely does. the buzz is a little different but more weird different not bad different.