maskormenace | Intro

[ Not wanting anybody to see his face, Kylo switches the video off before pressing record. He takes a deep breath, not really satisfied with having to do this - he should be able to find out more about this place and find the people he is looking for without any assistance - but this place is large and this seems much more efficient. The technology is outdated, the small device similar to a datapad but much less useful and without a holo function. This must be something that pre-dates his parents, his grandparents, even. ]

This place, I'm not familiar with it. It's not where I'm supposed to be, not even in our galaxy, yet...

[ He pauses, taking a breath, giving himself a moment to gather his thoughts and center himself. There are Force users here, more than one, and he's certain of it. He'll search every city until he finds them, burn them down, kill them all until he finds what he's looking for. However, if anybody can give him any information, save him from traveling through each city until he finds them... ]

Tell me where Skywalker and Solo are. I know they're here, I can feel it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Let you try? You truly expect me to just act as if nothing has happened, get over things that changed me and made me into who I am today just to give you a chance at being a father?

[ It's not that easy, Han. It will never be that easy, there is too much anger and hurt for Kylo to work through to simply let his father back into his life like this. Sure, the circumstances are wildly different in this world versus their own galaxy, but the pain is still there. Kylo doesn't have Snoke whispering in his ear, talking to him, pushing him toward the Dark Side, but he still feels the pull. He feels the pull from both sides and it's tearing him apart.

But Han wouldn't understand. He never understood, even when Kylo was a child, when he was still Ben. And Leia? Leia thought she understood. Luke thought he understood, too, but they didn't. They couldn't.

Nobody could understand the abandonment he felt, that he still feels.

And maybe Han is ready, maybe he's sincere in wanting to be a good father and do right by his son, but Kylo isn't ready. He's not ready to face this by himself, doesn't know where to turn or what to do; he's lost without his Master to guide him. This will take time. Lots of time. ]

I can't. I can't do this.

I'm not—

[He kind of is, though. And he can't really lie to his son about that, when the boy, the man seems to have figured it out. He looks down, clearly unsure of how to proceed now, then looks back up again. If it were anyone else he'd have thrown a sharp remark at them and been on his way.

But this is his son.]

I don't know what happened. And I ain't asking you to forget, I'm just asking you to let me help you, with—whatever it is you're going through right now.

[Something he knows little and less about, because unlike Luke, and likely unlike Leia, he doesn't have the Force. And he'll have to understand it somehow, if he wants to help.

And he wants to. He wants to help his son so badly that his heart aches with it. He wants to be a good father, and fix what mistakes he must've wrought, and make sure that his son is safe.

But he swallows, heartbreak written across his face.]

If you can't do this right now—it's fine. But if you ever need me, just give me a call, all right? I'm not going anywhere. I swear.

[ Kylo wants to tell Han that he's never going to call, that he's never going to need him, that he doesn't care if he's not going anywhere, but he can't make the words come out because he does care and he might need him and it still hurts to think about how it felt shoving his lightsaber through his father.

It was supposed to make him stronger, but it did the exact opposite.

He can't do this. There's no way he can build a relationship with this man when there are years of hurt, of anger, betrayal, abandonment piled heavy on his shoulders, consuming him. ]

I don't need your help.

[ He does. ]

There's no way you could ever understand. You didn't understand when I was a child and you're not going to understand now, here.

[ Kylo pauses, looking away from the phone in his hand. ]

Just leave me be.

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