002; video

[idesof]

[Video opens on the lobby of a hotel in art deco styling before James Patrick March comes into frame, wearing a tuxedo with a black cravat instead of any bowtie. He takes a look around before standing in what he seems to assume is the middle of the frame...before rethinking this and taking a few steps to the side. The camera follows. This puts him at the front desk. He puts a hand out to strike a relaxed sort of pose that definitely isn't a pose but looks like a pose that is trying so hard not to be one.]

How do I look?

[The camera man's voice is recognizable to those who have been to the Castile before, a particularly foul-mouthed bellhop who has a different name every time you ask.]

Freakishly overdressed. Like always.

Thank you. Please, tell me when you're about to start. Give a countdown, perhaps?

Nah. It's already runnin', boss.

[March's jaw tenses, his eyes have a glint. This is not the look of a happy boss. But it passes as quickly as it's there, replaced with a charming smile that comes across as completely genuine.]

Hello. My name is James Patrick March, and this is my hotel. [He gestures around, looks up.] The Hotel Castile. I've been extremely honored to meet many of you, and am positive there are many more I've yet to meet I would be just as honored by. On that note, any imPort who finds themselves in need of a place to stay in our fair city of Maurtia Falls will be granted half off any room here they'd like, standing offer as long as I captain this ship.

[His smile falls a bit, indicating a switch of topic to something more serious. And as March speaks, the video function slowly zooms in, first on his cravat, then over his head to focus on an EMERGENCY EXIT sign. March continues to speak, obviously unaware his camera man is such a little shit.]

Recently, I've come to realize there are quite a few in our population like myself. Like the people I know. I make no secret that I am a ghost, but ghosts were not all that haunted the hallways of my home. Ghosts, those beautiful creatures who needed blood to survive, witches, psychics, we had a little bit of everything! And, damn it all, I do miss it. So I would like to offer a more personal invitation to all you fantastic, lovely folks who fall into those other categories. Room and board, food and drink, simple conversation, name it, we pride ourselves on discretion and confidentiality here, and I've rather a craving to add familiarity into that list.

[The camera moves about to literally anything that is not March — it takes an interest in two women coming out of the elevator, in staff going about their business, anything happening behind him so it doesn't appear obvious that March is not really in this picture.]

I believe that was all I had to address today. Hm?

S'all you told me, Jimjam.

Charming — cut it, won't you?

Yep.

[Except...he doesn't. Not immediately, anyway, the Network is treated to a good twenty seconds of one of the staff on break eating a sandwich. Nothing really fascinating, but there are some men who simply should not be trusted to record literally anything.

ooc. if it's your first time interacting with jpm please visit his permissions thank you!]

Comments

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Jimjam".

voice;

[idesof]

Ah, yes. Delightful work of man, isn't he? He has quite the list of nicknames he's given me. Occasionally he even refers to me as Daddy.

( video )

[thirdprogenitor]

And just how do you provide food and drink for my kind?

[ Because she doesn't do artificial blood, what even. ]

[idesof]

[He's All Smiles. Look who it is!]

We've our own sources. My wife hasn't been gone from this world long. We found ways to keep her well fed so that won't be an issue.

[murder is involved but u no]

Video

[foreshadower]

Are you asking for more guests?

Should I stop by more often?

video

[idesof]

Absolutely you should! And we should go out more, I'd say.

video;

[kingsroads]

Witches, ghosts, psychics? It seems you might need to add a magician to your list!

[ says the man who's also freakishly overdressed, but in a way that's more '1810s Regency England' than '1920s puking on Gomez Addams'. ]

[idesof]

[Hand to heart, he takes in a great gasp of air before letting out a dramatic, but in the good way:]

What!

[Internally that What! is because oh my god, what the fuck is going on with this aura, let him tear it apart please.]

video

[jojoceanman]

Your camera person seems to be slacking a little. That looked like a pretty good sandwich though.

[idesof]

[March shifts a glance, presumably to his camera man. What did you do, those eyes say. Somebody is getting unhappily spanked later. But then...dafuq is with this dude's aura? Not that it shows on his face or in his voice but Good God. He's just sort of struck, takes an extra second to answer.]

He's far better at tending to the luggage. Don't ask the gardener to fix the plumbing, that was my mistake.

voice;

[wizzardly]

Is that Barney filming?

[this is the voice of a wizard both pleased to hear A Friend's voice and who is unaware said friend's name isn't actually Barney Rubble. That bellhop, such a card.]

Tell him I found a funny old lighter in the shops the other day that he'd appreciate. It was a naked woman, and the flame came out of her, erm - well, it made for a perky flame, let's just say that.

[idesof]

[March's laugh is loud, bubbling with absolute delight, and he doesn't bother covering up the receiver as he passes the message along. Which results in more loud, delighted laughter. And a bit of foul language, obviously.]

Oh, oh goodness, Rincewind. Darling boy. Did you buy it? Barney says if you did, you must come visit right away. Tonight, even. He'll, ah, let you win at cards if you do.

[OooOOOOOoOOOoooooOoohhhh]

video

[catchacold]

Loving your camera man, Jimjam.

[One has to praise talent wherever it can be found.]

Great eye for detail.

[idesof]

[Hrm. He takes a moment, looking as if this is a very serious offense.]

How naughty has he been with his camera work using a scale of one to eleven?

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

I never asked if your world had ghouls as well.

[idesof]

[Ken ♥_♥]

We do not! Not that I know of, I should say. I could be wrong. It is a great big world inside a greater and bigger universe.

video; private

[faderbroderson]

["...those beautiful creatures who needed blood to survive," is in turns hysterical and alarming. It has a fun ring of fanaticism to it that nearly has Godric rolling his eyes. But he can hardly ignore this.]

Where do you source your blood?

permathat!

[idesof]

A little bit here, a little bit there. I donated as often as I was able, of course, and the staff is contracted to donate as they can as well. Various citizens who were enamored by her beauty and grace also gave to us. I highly doubt they would stop simply because she has left. More the reason to give, honestly. Prove their loyalty if and when she returns.

[also murder]

video

[am_i_a_monster]

Don't most of us need blood to survive?

[idesof]

I've yet to meet anyone hailing from a land where most need to consume blood in order to survive.

[Because literally no one would be around after some point, he assumes.]

[musclemothers]

Well, aren't you courageous. Most people such as yourself try to keep a low profile.

[idesof]

[hey boo]

Most people can't claim the success I've had. I tend to consider myself unlike most people.

[He's not, like, offended or anything. Just explaining. And it's in that peppy, helpful tone that somehow makes him sound less like "I have a superiority complex" and more like "I just figured things out differently is all."]

video

[notgneiss]

Funny how all these so called non-humans still retain the curse of... squishyness and needing sustenance. Calling them fantastic and lovely is a bit of a stretch, does it not agree?

[shale assumes as a ghost, march won't need anything he mentioned.]

[idesof]

[what
what the fuck
omg this is amazing but rly what the fuck but but wow!!!, march would think, if he thought in modern day chatspeaks]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, darling. A stretch for you can be a work of art for someone else and the same in reverse.

video.

[trouvaille]

( as disinclined as gwen is to cop to being anything more complicated than a socialite, that actually, sort of -

she sort of misses that, too. she'd started to get used to the strangeness. she wasn't keeping a secret by herself; she was part of something. )

Well, I have a house. And I don't know if you're pet-friendly. But it was lovely meeting you last month, and I love a mini-break.

[idesof]

Gwen! [He says her name with sheer delight, the trill one of agreement and joy.] We can absolutely be pet-friendly, yes! Certainly. It was lovely to meet you as well, my goodness, I'd be honored to host any break of yours. Miniature or ginormous!

voice;

[uncledad]

[wait... this... is the Maurtia Falls hotel that Littlefinger recommended.

ok.]

Your man recording this video needs a bit of practice. And I say that as someone who has never made a recording in my life. [Not to mention one-handed; added difficulties. Could still probably do a better job.] Tell me, why would anyone not in this 'other' category of yours want to spend time in your hotel? It strikes me as a bit risky.

Perhaps that's the draw.

[idesof]

He needs a bit more than practice. [Like mental help but that's just not a thing anyone from American Horror Story seriously suggests because lol. Still, his tone conveys a sense of "there's more wrong with that boy than shitty camera skills."] What about it strikes you as risky? I'm curious.

video

[gravedangers]

You must have had an interesting death.

[idesof]

[oh, look at this pretty thing]

Are you interested in interested deaths?

video; fashionably late ok

[neverdied]

[Sad Jack is sad. Oh wait, nvm, that's just his normal look.]

Trying to turn your hotel into a circus?

wow not ok AT ALL

[idesof]

Have you seen any elephants?