maskormenace | [thank you, carlene; your entire life is garbage

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[thank you, carlene; your entire life is garbage - VIDEO]

[The video, though active and recording, shows only back - but it's not a solid black,
as though the camera's been covered. Instead, it shifts and moves and lets in some peeks of light, suggesting that someone's trying to keep the camera covered with their hand or with something that keeps sliding off. At one point, there's a grey ceiling and the top of someone's head - the only indication of which is two black curls.]

Shit.

[The video goes black again with the sound of the device being placed on a hard surface of some kind, probably a table.]

All right, listen up, dum-dums. [The voice is that of a woman. She has a deeper tone than others, and there's an edge to it that suggests she could very easily kill you if she wanted to. And that she probably does.] I don't know how the fuck I got here or why - or why I woke up in America's sweaty asshole of all places, or why I'm now in Amish country - but I need to get back to Brooklyn, ASAP.

Also, what the hell is it with these damn .. machines? [She means the Porters.] This is some Star Wars bullshit, and it's probably the only cool thing going for this place right now.

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Right, that's it.

I must've already started filtering out whatever you said.

Have you got any more guesses?

Impossible or Irritable .. something. I swear, if you call me a Gringo, I'm gonna be pissed.

[There's a little bit of a grin in his voice, because she's very close, and he's kind of depressed despite himself.]

What's a gringo?

Spanish term for someone who's American. Usually means a white person, though.

I don't sound Spanish to you, do I?

[He sounds super Cockney British, as a matter of fact.]

No, asshole, but it's a common enough term that even non-Spanish speakers use it. Generally just means "American person who's probably white."

Whatever, forget it.

It's a different G-word, then.