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[airshow]

[ The feed opens inside a bar, the decor of which can best be described as "the circus comes to Florida." There's an inordinate amount of neon signs on the walls, as well as the head of a taxidermied alligator wearing enormous novelty sunglasses. The soft yet somehow ominous clucking of chickens can be heard from somewhere offscreen.

James places a martini glass full to the brim with olives and, it's safe to assume, a small amount of actual martini, on the bar. ]

I call it the Cyclops Orgy. [ stage whisper: ] See, the olives are the eyes?

Now, while I'm obviously fan-gosh-darn-tastic at naming drinks, even a genius has to admit when he could use some fresh ideas. So! You submit your best boozy drink names — recipes optional — and if I use yours, you may win faaabulous prizes, including but not limited to: unlimited whack-a-mole tickets, a set of lawn flamingos that I decorated myself, aaand possibly even the world's cutest pony!

Comments

[socialactivillain]

I thought you said you were taking Poptart to a farm.

[airshow]

I mean, that could still happen! I said possibly!

[socialactivillain]

He hasn't still been living in his shed behind the burned down house this whole time, has he?

[airshow]

Of course not. I got him his own bouncy castle.

[socialactivillain]

Is it at least barn-shaped?

VIDEO.

[bragnificent]

How about the "Ice Bucket Challenge?" You could make it something like a more frozen Long Island Iced Tea-- except more bitter, maybe. [ Then he snaps his fingers. ] Or how about Gator-ale. You get it, right? Because it's Florida.

[ Never mind that it would probably taste horrible. Gatorade-flavored beer?? ]

[airshow]

I like the way you think! So gator-ale... obviously green, but with actual Gatorade as a mixer, yeah? Might taste weird, but you'll replenish your electrolytes while you drink! It's its own hangover cure!

[bragnificent]

Yeah, obviously it'd have to be Gatorade. Pretty genius though, isn't it? [ A pause, then he adds: ] But you could probably get away with using something different than beer-- I honestly have no idea how that'd taste. Just do it like Hard Lemonade, no one will care.

[airshow]

I guess no one drinks hard lemonade for the great refreshing taste. But yeah, kid, I know genius when I see it, and that's it! Sounds like a BIG hit with the frat crowd.

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[picksthenames]

[ When Cisco responds, he's looking introspective for once. ]

You know, for all my experience naming things, I have come up with surprisingly few drink names in my time. I made an extra-potent alcohol to counteract a speedster's hyperactive metabolism and allow them to get drunk, but we just tend to call it superbooze.

[airshow]

Dude, that's gotta be strong stuff! It needs a way more impressive name than that. Whaddya mix it with?

[picksthenames]

Mostly you take it straight, do shots of it because it burns like a mother going down.

[airshow]

Okay, so I know it'd probably kill me, but there's a part of me that wants to try it. Just once.

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[pyrogue]

Alright, what kinda hideous colours did you paint those poor lawn flamingos?

[airshow]

It's not really colors so much as glitter and mustaches, and also how dare you.

[pyrogue]

Wouldn't be you if it weren't gaudy as all hell. How d'you manage moustaches around the whole -- [ He waves around his face. ] -- Beak thing?

[airshow]

Pipe cleaners. And the stache starts ON the beak, just below the nostrils. Mama Trickster didn't raise no dummies.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Waitwaitwait, dude, back up.

A pony?!

[airshow]

A real life actual pony! His name is Poptart.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

That is the best possible pony-name in the history of ponies.

[airshow]

Thanks! He was one of those birthday rentaponies, but I figured if I had one it'd feel like my birthday every day! And it was going pretty well til my roommate-slash-associate burned the house down, soooo now I gotta figure out how to be a responsible horse dad...

[catchacold]

Don't give Mick any of those flamingos.

[He's seen that reply and he's just trying to stay ahead of the curve.

Mick's nice. Mick might want to honour his friend's present and actually display it. Mick lives with Leonard.

So no. No.]

[airshow]

What was that? Give Mick all the flamingos?

[catchacold]

How much do you want?

[Is he willing to pay to keep flamingos out of his house? You bet.]

[airshow]

I'm more of a "vague and undefined favors to be cashed in later" kind of guy, personally.