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[ A couple of months?

Iris furrows her brow. She knows that time works differently here: people come from all sorts of universes, all sorts of time periods, and yet she remembers seeing him not even 48 hours ago. They were talking outside on the porch and they kissed and - and she needs to set that aside for now. They can figure out their relationship later.

She promised him that she would wait, no matter how long it took. It only hurts to know that once again, he was the one waiting for her. ]

Still seems pretty long to me. [ Though she scrunches up her face at the mere mention of where they are: ] That, or the government loves puns more than you do.

[ which, tbh, would be impressive. ]

[ barry's glad she doesn't linger too much on it. discomfort had started to brew inside of him, and he'd felt the need to try and steer her away from questioning him. if she asked him too many questions about how long he's been here, why he's been here for a couple of months before her arrival, he feels as though what he's done will rise to the surface. ]

[ his biggest fear has always been losing iris. telling her what he's done elicits fear inside of him, but he's not too sure what he's afraid of — iris leaving him, or him admitting he had inadvertently left her. ]

[ he smiles at her. ] I like it. [ of course he does, because he sure as hell has been making iris puns since he got here. ] No one can love puns more than me. No one.

[ he glances around again, finding himself growing a little nervous. his fingers tap against the counter as he tries to keep his feet from twisting on the ground. ]

Have you gotten any interesting answers? [ he thinks to clarify: ] With your question.

[ Oh, she wants to ask about it later. How he'd initially settled in, how this new world had done him some good in the confidence department... maybe even how different it is from the other Earths he's told her about. From the sounds of it, he and Cisco can't use their powers to go home.

They sure aren't in Kansas anymore, and for reasons she doesn't quite understand yet, her best friend's a little anxious. Without thinking, Iris reaches out to intertwine her fingers with Barry's. ]

Kind of? [ She squeezes his hand. ] Most people were telling me about their new powers, which I expected, but then you've got the people who told me they'd never seen a dishwasher before.

[ That had been a complete culture shock, and logically, she knows time travel's a thing. It's just - way more surreal to see that in person. ]

[ when she reaches for his hand and squeezes it, he looks down, as if taken aback. and he is, to an extent. he's used to iris touching him in a friendly manner, a touch of a hand here, an arm around his waist for the span of just a few seconds there. things are different now — or he thinks. isn't it supposed to be different when your friend you've been crushing on since the beginning of time reciprocates those feelings? ]

[ it's something he wishes he knew. it's something he had forced himself not to think about when in the alternate world where mom and dad were alive, and joe west being a father figure was merely wishful thinking. ]

[ regardless of where his thinking spins off to, barry plays off any surprise. instead, he gives into that fluttery feeling inside of his chest, and holds her hand firmly. ]

[ he pulls a face when he repeats, ] A dishwasher, huh? [ truthfully, barry hasn't done all he can to explore this world. as he approaches any earth, he barrels head on into everything and tries to clean up the mess afterwards. ]

[ casually, he asks, ] What kind of powers do you have now? If it's not brownie related I'm filing a complaint.

Dishwashers... public transport.... even toasters, from the sounds of it.

[ Iris makes a 'hm' sound, fully intent on distracting him either through her touch or through some mindless chatter. As fascinating as the culture shock was, it doesn't hold a candle to being with her best friend.

She'd meant her promise. She wouldn't think of him as anything more until he gave her the go-ahead - and only then. ]

The coffee-related kind, actually. [ She pulls away fully now, reaching for a couple of empty mugs. Without a second thought, she fills them to the brim with Barry's usual order from Jitters. It even smells like their usual blend of roasted beans. ] Still gonna file a complaint?

Hm.

[ barry eyes the mug thoughtfully for a second — an iris second, not a barry second — before he reaches out and wraps his fingers around it, but not without his fingers firstly brushing against hers. it's testing the waters in a completely innocent way, and barry finds it doesn't seem to disrupt anything. there's no tidal waves, no tsunamis ... just a natural smoothness to it all. ]

[ bringing the mug close to his nose, he watches her as he makes a show of smelling it. ] Smells legit. But does it taste legit? [ cocking his eyebrow, he tilts his head and lets a moment pass before he decides to chug it down. ]

[ When he puts on those airs, she can't help feeling a little nervous. Sure, her coffee tastes great to her. Iris has only summoned and re-summoned batches for hours at a time, testing her limits like she'd remembered Cisco and Caitlin doing.

There was even a notebook back home, with hasty notes scribbled everywhere. Americanos were fine. Lattes were a little harder, but still feasible. Ditto for cappuccinos. Iced lattes, maybe in a couple of weeks, etc etc. When it came to Barry, though? Nervous butterflies sit in her stomach. She has powers now, but they're still not of the completely useful variety. ]

It tasted legit to me, but you should - [ Oh. He's going for it. Iris bites on her lip, ] see.... for yourself....

[ To be fair, her coffee is still pretty damn good, considering she's had this power for less than 48 hours. ]

[ barry allen needs to learn not to eat jalapeños and chug down hot coffee within a breath. learn to pace yourself, fool. ]

[ he manages to drink it all at the cost of his throat feeling on fire and burned — and much worse when he starts coughing, ] This is great! [ if she can understand him through the hacking of his lungs and his attempt to literally coat his coarse throat. talking only makes him cough a little more. ]

[ mug safely cupped in his hands, he holds it securely with one before he presses his hand to his chest. ] Tastes just like I can remember.

[ ah, that coughing goes away, but he still makes a show of clearing his throat. ]

Can you remind me to never do that again? It's been forever since I had the Iris West Jitters coffee, but safety first. [ literally forever. three months and a million jitters trips inside of that alternate universe later, and everything may taste scrumptious, but it's not the same. a voice inside of his head keeps telling him it isn't. ]

[ As impressive as that was, it was also downright frightening - and Iris's seen him inhale enough food for a whole army. She's practically staring, but what else can she do? By the time she could grab a bottle of water, his throat would've recovered (and the effort might've been rendered meaningless).

Without thinking, she draws in a breath and gives him an intense one-over, as if he might fall over in another instant. He seems alright, save for, well, the coughing that eventually subsides. ]

Also your health! [ Her coffee's good, but it's never going to be "down it in an instant" good. ] You sure you're okay?

[ Because she can and will call a doctor with zero hesitations. ]

Peachy.

[ he clears his throat one last time, and he hopes to god that's the end of it. as the fastest man alive, he hopes chasing away that itch to cough moves as quickly as his legs. ]

Love it. [ he swallows, and finds that, yes, being the fastest man alive means he has quick choking recovering times. ] The coffee, not the choking — in case you thought I meant that.

[ he leans forward and places that mug on the table, out of harm's way and far away from doing him any harm. the last thing he wants is to die via choking on coffee. yes, he's an idiot for drinking it too fast, but drinking it too fast and proving to her that her coffee is survivable makes it worth it. ]

I'm okay, Iris. [ he smiles, it growing big and dorky. ] How can I not be when my best friend's here and she's giving me coffee?

[ For starters, she last remembers him being torn up about his dad - about Dr. Allen, about his sudden and tragic passing - but Iris doesn't want to push it now. If he's not feeling the burden of Central City on his shoulders, he deserves to stay that light and carefree.

God, she missed seeing that smile. (Is it weird, saying she missed that about him when she'd only seen him 48 hours ago?)

So she returns it right back at him, positively beaming and tucking some stray hairs out of her face. She'll question it later, once they've settled down. Maybe. ]

I could say the same thing. [ She laughs, ] So... if you're up to it, tell me more about this strange, magical other-Florida. How've you been adjusting?

[ Well, from the looks of it, but it could also be the Best Friend Effect. ]

[ this is where it gets a little awkward, isn't it? like how he'd been spending his time in the new, alternate universe he'd created, he hasn't been paying too much attention to things. it isn't because he's oblivious — it doesn't suit a man who combs through evidence fifty times, who memorises the shape of a particular sized shoe so he can spot it the second he walks onto a crime scene. ]

[ his hand goes up behind his neck. ]

I've been okay. [ he doesn't sound entirely convincing, not to his ears and least of all iris'. ] The Flash has been around ... I've been a P.A. for a video game, and ... [ he's left the barry allen of central city, of the timeline thawne created, behind. ] Been eating a lot.

[ hand falling down, he admits, ] It's kind of been like a holiday. There's other superheroes here to take care of the bad guys, so I've been able to put my feet up.

[ Now that doesn't sound like Barry. Letting some other superpowered person swoop in and save the day? (Even if there are a ton, thanks to the Porters?) Then again, he did just lose his dad... and that's not something a guy easily bounces back from. Iris furrows her brow in concern. ]

For two whole months? [ She laughs, trying to wrap her head around it. It's strange, but if it helps him cope... it helps him cope. ] You haven't even thought about going back to being a CSI? I know they usually require a degree, but imPorts could probably get an exception...

Uh.

[ he'd thought about it, and then he'd decided to pass. he'd never been a personal assistant before, no less for a video game! there was something different in it, a chance to try something new, and most importantly, escape. being a csi meant he'd have to go back to how it was before — in the original timeline, and then the paradise timeline. a part of barry was afraid the third time the clock struck that he'd be turned into a pumpkin and not a carriage. ]

[ his hand scratches at his chin in an attempt to hide his face. he scrunches it up, and his voice pitches high. ] Not really?

[ his hands clasp together quickly. ] I don't mind being a P.A. I still get to run around and do things, and it's something different. And I'm always a CSI. Earth-1, Earth-2 ... [ his face scrunches up, and his words start to feel like they're normal. he's on a roll. it's not the best kind of roll, but it's one nonetheless. ] Does my Earth-3 need me to do the same job I'm pretty much destined to be in?

[ When he puts it like that, Iris doesn't have the heart to question his new career change. He isn't Earth-2 Barry and he sure isn't Earth-3 Barry; no, he's finding his own path, and if that involves running errands for some arrogant video game producer, then so be it. ]

No, of course not. [ Does it challenge you? she wants to ask, but honestly, she's not nerdy enough to tell. For all she knows, he could be learning how to program things or design them or whatever a guy needs to get a game up and running. ] What kind of game is it? Anything you played back home?

[ it isn't challenging at all. being an assistant doesn't mean he's running any faster, learning any programming, doing anything that'll eventually lead him to becoming the barry who creates "gideon". if anything, it's allowing him to be stagnant. ]

[ he misses being challenged, he misses helping people. but ... barry couldn't help his father, his mother, eddie, the first wells ... the alternate universe he had created had stolen all the reminders of his failures from him, and so does this job. ]

No. [ he shakes his head. ] It's "Ronnie the Aardvark: Better Be Quick: The Quickening." [ he says it with a grin. ] I have a feeling the people who gave me my file suggested me for the job. A little irony never killed anyone.

[ but it sure did bore barry. ]

[ She stares, half-wondering if he's kidding at the name, but also just half-wondering what kind of nerds would give an Aardvark super-speed. Was he also gonna wear a red and yellow supersuit? Would it have that giant lightning bolt across his chest??

These are Important Questions, and yet Iris suspects that this world lacks her sense of humor. ]

But it sure could slow someone down. [ hint hint. ] Though you know, for extra irony.... I probably would've chosen a turtle.

[ he smiles, brows furrowing together. his voice pitches high, like it usually does when barry's questioning something that could, possibly, become an opinion of him. ] You don't think the Flash could be an aardvark if he was an animal? I was hoping for Spongebob but I don't have the laugh he does.

[ a turtle suited barry allen better than the flash. the flash, after all, always won each race, with skill and speed. people believe in the hare to win each race he enters, especially when faced against a slower opponent. barry allen had always been viewed as the turtle, skills and capabilities unacknowledged, and with very little faith attached to him. ]

[ sometimes, though, the flash and barry allen intertwined. barry doesn't like to think so right now. the flash never would've put the city at jeopardy by erasing the timeline, growing comfortable in an alternate universe, and not once thinking to gear up in his suit. ]

[ Turtles are cute!! They also happen to be pretty awesome creatures. They may be slow, but they're steady on their feet, and they always finish whatever they started. They defend people with their giant shells, and they're loyal to their friends and - and this metaphor is getting away from her, but Iris sees so much good in Barry. Even if he is languishing away on a two month long vacation (with an aardvark.)

Iris's expression softens. How can she best tell him that she'd meant it in the best of light...? ]

I think the Flash could be any animal he wanted to be. [ . . . ] Even if it is Spongebob.

[ Just don't make her the squirrel, okay? ]

Is Spongebob really an animal? He's more like a kitchen sponge.

[ barry allen, destroying kid cartoons one sponge at a time with logic. ]

[ if the flash was an animal, it'd be one that's quick, a cheetah, perhaps, or even a dragon, ancient and old but so very powerful. but barry knows he'd prefer to be a dragon than anything else, because they're mystical — they're the animal you'd hope to be when you crack open your egg and step forth into the world. it's how he's always wanted to be, large, formidable, an intimidating enemy. ]

[ he should be the dragon from shrek. ]

[ he smiles, big and goofy. he's about to say it. he's about to say which bikini bottom animal she should be ... ]

You can always be Patrick!

[ There he goes again, using science and reason to defy the fun and whimsy that so often goes along with one of her favorite cartoons. Then again, isn't that what she loves about him?

Iris rolls her eyes at him, fighting the temptation to smile. She likes the idea well enough - that wherever Barry goes, she'd be there too - but Patrick? Really...? ]

Oh, come on. I'd rather - [ She pauses, as if just realizing something, ] Wait. Does Spongebob even exist in this world?

[ remember that conversation where barry tried to solve the unsolvable mystery of how catdog went to the bathroom? the universe wishes it could forget. he cannot help himself, needing to bring his forensic eye into everything. ]

[ barry's face scrunches up in offense, hand slapping against his chest. he recoils for good measure. ] Does Spongebob — [ he shakes his head, much like an overdramatic fangirl. ] I'm going to pretend you did not just imply Mr Krabs was not real. Of course Spongebob is real. [ his hand presses harder against his chest as he says with conviction, ] He's ready.

[ for the love of god, shove a flower in his mouth, please. ]

[ Barry. . . sweetheart. . . Iris stares blankly for a couple of seconds, before deciding to just roll with the overdramatics and go with it. Especially since she started this nerd train. She might as well steer it to its final destination. ]

Uh-huh. [ . . . ] Someone's gotta collect all those Dragon Balls, and it isn't him.

[ She knows exactly what she deserves for that slight against his favorite Japanese cartoon (or multiple?? She never kept up with 'em), so she rushes behind the counter, as if expecting (playful) retaliation for "confusing" two vastly different stories.

At least this time, she's got a shield of purple and white Irises. ]

Edited 2017-09-19 19:10 (UTC)

[ it happens in a flash: barry's expression shifts, mouth dropping open, a gasp beginning to form its sound … but then he stops. shaking his head, barry raises his hands. ] I can't do this. [ he looks to the ground, turns half away from her, then back to her. all within a manner of seconds, barry's gone through the surprise, hurt, distrust, anger, and grieving all over social media. ]

You are so lucky we're best friends because I — [ raising his hand, he gestures between the two of them, almost too quick for his hand to be properly seen. ] — cannot be seen with someone who purposefully disrespects not only one epic anime, but two. [ hand pressing against his chest, he takes a few steps forward with long strides towards where she hides. ] In two. Ow, it hurts.

[ He's equally lucky that she loves him, as she turns her head so she can laugh at his over-exaggerated hurt. He's gonna blast this all over social media, she can already tell.

In this unexpected battle, she's the loser - but oh, she can't say she really minds. ]

Um, excuse me? If I'm so bad at knowing your anime, then we'll just have to watch them all over again. [ She says, like it'll stick after the nth time. How many times has she watched both shows again?? ] And if I manage to figure out the whole Dragonball thing...

[ She pauses, for big dramatic effect, ] Not only will you have to be seen with me? But you're also gonna dive back into the wonderful world of science.

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