Permavid

[governorkang]

[Kang is standing in a brightly lit, homey kitchen that is not designed like any in government housing. He is also having to be careful where he puts his head and wings, to avoid smacking into a few copper pots hanging from a rack above an island. Judging from the proportions of everything else, very few humans would have the same problem.]

This may sound like a strange request, but does anyone know of any shops in Heropa that sell deer meat out of season? If it weren't illegal, I'd hunt the damn things myself.

[A female voice pipes up in the background.]

Language!

[He looks to the side with a sheepish expression and apologizes before continuing:]

Or anywhere else. Price isn't an issue.

[There's a distant sound of shouting, and the same voice heaves a sigh before saying that she'll be right back. Before Kang can respond or even protest, a very young baby bundled in a pale yellow blanket is thrust into his arms.

His eyes widen, his wings snap out slightly, and he looks to the side again in sheer panic.]

What are you - wait - come back!

[The rest of him doesn't move an inch, treating the baby dwarfed in his arms as if it's made of very expensive, very breakable glass.

The fact that he's recording to the network, and that he needs to breathe, is momentarily forgotten as he looks down.

HALP.]

Comments

[permavoice]

[heartstings]

[There's just laughing. Sorry, Kang, but she finds it hilarious.]

[governorkang]

[Oh. Right. Recording. And breathing.

The panicked look abates only slightly. He'll worry about the laughing later.]

Kenzi, I don't - how am I supposed to hold her without my claws getting too close?

[heartstings]

[She takes a bit to finally stop laughing.] Man, you gotta come back and see this later because your face. Dude, your face was hilarious.

[A pause.]

Oh, uh, just be careful? [Her shrug can practically be heard.] Babies are surprisingly durable as long as you don't, like, drop them on their head.

[governorkang]

I know my kind's are, but even human babies?

[heartstings]

Well, if you, like, scratch it it's gonna cry and maybe bleed a little. We don't have scales to protect us but we heal fast enough.

➥ AUDIO | 1/2

[nestingdevil]

[He's not going to comment on the baby-hot potato act here. It's really the look of the guy that caught his eye first. But -]

[- first thing's first.] Not sure about down south, but there's always a market for something.

➥ AUDIO | 2/2

[nestingdevil]

[And he's not about to go hunt it himself so - ]

How much? [As if he's pretty damn sure he can find a source. Pennsylvania wasn't exactly short on woods-supply after all.]

[governorkang]

[After he's figured out how to comfortably hold the baby so he won't cause any accidental damage with his claws, he answers. He's still holding it like he might break it, though.]

Seven or eight pounds would probably do it. I'm not all that knowledgeable about cuts of meat - whatever cuts work for making long strips out of it.

[nestingdevil]

I meant for payment, pal.

[governorkang]

Like I said, price isn't an issue, but I'd prefer something in the $150 - $250 range if at all possible.

video

[mercyisweakness]

You don't need deer. There's your meal right there.

[governorkang]

[The look of panic fades to one of disgust.]

No.

[mercyisweakness]

Why not?

[ Babies taste great, yo. ]

[governorkang]

I don't eat people.

[Unless it's a life or death situation, but this is not a good time to be mentioning that.]

[mercyisweakness]

You are a descendant of a dragon and you don't eat people?

Give it to me, then, if you don't want it.

[incendere]

(The most amused and smug smirk.)

I had no idea you were such a family man, Mr. Kang. Congratulations.

[governorkang]

[He snorts, and carefully shifts the baby into the crook of his arms.]

I do have four children of my own. I've just never dealt with human children.

[Outside of war, at least. He's shocked that a human would trust him well enough with her child.]

[Video]

[hadtoperishtwice]

[Okay. Sam's been here a few days, he's getting used to some things.]

[This...no. This, definitely not used to.]

I think...umm. You might be better to turn the baby so the head is in the crook of your arm. Less worry about...uh. Dropping, mostly. And keep the arm tucked against your body.

[governorkang]

It's not just dropping I'm worried about. My kind's younglings aren't as vulnerable to claws.

[It's said without looking up, as he very slowly starts to shift the baby into that position.]

[hadtoperishtwice]

So try not to poke him...her? With your claws. I mean, I know, easier said than done.

Maybe get some gloves if you find you're going to be handling kids very often. Or might get them shoved at you, really.

[Sure, whatever. Communists, red scare. Superheroes. Lizard-looking guys with claws and horns and wings. Sam's just going to roll with it.]

[governorkang]

[Oh, he recognizes that voice. And that face.]

I doubt most humans would allow me anywhere near their children. I never expected this one to.

video

[lucke]

Uh... It's illegal to hunt deer?

[What kind of a fascist, totalitarian-]

What moron thought that was a good idea?

[governorkang]

I thought it strange at first, as well. The law does make sense, though. It's to prevent overhunting.

[lucke]

How troublesome. A man should be allowed to feed himself without fear of law mongering.

[governorkang]

[He snorts softly.]

Food isn't lacking here. I simply wanted to make something from home.