001; video

[clanky]

[Aaron Stack, singularly most advanced android every made, has Been Through This Shit Before. It wasn’t any more impressive the second time around. He didn’t feel any more inclined to care.

He was going to just wait it out. But he's getting bored, and curious, and suspicious of the quiet. And so-]

At the risk of having a conversation I have had numerous times before, again- I still do not appreciate being repeatedly dragged into your silly fleshcapades. I have no need of your government oversight or blah blah meatsack safety regulations or whatever the thinly veiled justification is this time. Was it the Soviets? Please. If the Soviets are still givig you trouble, there no hope for you at all. And I liked my universe, you know. Danvers' inability to use Google Maps aside, it was fun. Lots of kicking and explosions and things that needed shooting.

But in the spirit of self-interest all you fleshies embrace, I’ve given it some thought and decided I am willing to extend the same offer I made SHIELD. If you can offer me suitable and fulfilling incentive and deliver a reasonably large amount of expensive imported beer on a daily basis, I will once again consider...well, whatever. To start, I want a Life Model Decoy pony this time. You do not get to question why.

[It's because he has a leftover cowboy hat from hunting zombies, mostly. And mostly to see what people think he will do with a pony.]

These are the only terms I will accept.

Comments

video :

[proteus]

Wait, so are you the guy that annexed two shelves in the fridge for beer?

[ If she goes down stairs right now will one shelf be empty... ]

[ video ]

[falsesmile]

You may be better suited for bartending than heroics.

video :

[clanky]

[No. Please. Like that's all the beer Aaron has.]

Until an adequate mini-fridge can be found, yes. Don't touch it.

[video]

[glitterateur]

We can ask for ponies?

[ video ]

[clanky]

I'll admit I gave it some thought, but the ratio of free drinks to lack of interest in empathizing with the people in bars seems to be off. Although anything would be better than selling cars.

[Even insurance was better than that. From experience.]

[video]

[clanky]

[...he doesn't entirely have the heart to be awful to a small child. Of course, he doesn't have a heart at all, but semantics.]

...sure. Why not.

[ permavid ]

[falsesmile]

It sounds like you have a problem with work, not cars.

[permavid]

[glitterateur]

[This is the greatest day of Mabel's life.]

Yesss.

What are you gonna name him?

permavid!

[heartlessglitch]

Please clarify: What is a Life Model Decoy pony.

omg kouhai

[clanky]

Surely you know what a Life Model Decoy is. Right?

s-senpai...

[heartlessglitch]

Yes.
But I was not aware that S.H.I.E.L.D. produced equine versions.

[permavid]

[clanky]

Haven't really thought about it. Howard, maybe.

[He was kind of fond of Howard the Duck ok.]

[clanky]

SHIELD let me write a contract that dictated I got to pick my assignments, refuse any mission I wanted to, and met every ludicrous demand I could think of. I am sure it's within their power to give me a pony if I'd thought to ask for one then.

[clanky]

No. I like cars, if they're sufficiently well-built and cool. I have a problem with being assigned jobs that most humans disdain or find beneath them, girl meatsack, and then expect me to take it without question.

[glitterateur]

[She considers it for a moment before nodding. The name is approved.]

Good, good. It's functional yet heroic.

[clanky]

[What has just happened to his life.]

Should I be specifying a color too? I was going to be lenient on that point, but now it just seems pointless to not go all the way.

video

[valr]

You know no one watching this gives a shit, right?

[she just wants to check]

[falsesmile]

The work assignments aren't a personal insult.

Now, what does a non-meatsack want with beer?

[glitterateur]

[It has improved 1000% obviously.]

Of course! If you have that option you need to take it. Howard's going to be your new best friend and sidekick-- if you're not happy with all of him that'll ruin your partnership!

video

[clanky]

Why would I give a shit if they give a shit?

video

[valr]

You cared enough to waste your time with this announcement.

[so........]

video

[clanky]

Having a conversation takes zero processing power.

video

[valr]

[Robots are weird she doesn't understand how they exist but she's not going to show that.]

Still wasting time that could be better spent.

video

[clanky]

[He makes an effort to be as weird as possible, sometimes. When he's not just slightly crazy, or really drunk.]

Only if you lack the capacity to multitask efficiently. Like I would really devote all my attention to this.

[clanky]

Beer serves many uses, fleshy one.