[video]

[majorlyugh]

[As the video comes on, Major's leaning in a bit close, trying to get his comm to stand on its end, but the thing keeps sliding over at varying speeds. He sighs, eventually picking the thing up and holding it out with his arm extended.

He offers a shrug as an explanation.]

I'm - never sure if I'm supposed to like, greet people when I start one of these? Well, to be on the safe side ... hey! How are you? I'm doing all right, thanks.

Okay, now that's out of the way, I have two questions for the folks here. .. They are completely unrelated, but of sort of equal importance. [He's walking under some trees that are out-of-shot, but the sunlight pouring through the canopies are sun-dappling Major's face as he moves.]

One: I'm a millenial so I'm pretty good with technology, but - these things sort of elude me a little bit. Is there a way for me to like .. go anon on this thing? Or change my name? Or just use a different one entirely? Or do I have to use my actual name on the network?

Two: Does anyone know if there's a copy of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark lying around? Could be a VHS, for all I care, so long as there's a VCR, too. But I'm not picky; could be anything, just as long as it's watchable!

If you're still listening, thanks! And if you have answers to my questions, I owe you a drink or something!

Comments

it's true, it was. I forgive you

[mathemagier]

I despise you.

[majorlyugh]

you guys are adorable?

makes me miss my bff wherever the hell he is.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Oh no, Hermann. This is all your fault. This is SO not the kind of first impression I want to make. [Never mind that this is often the kind of first impression they manage to make.]

dude. sorry about your bff. sadly, that is not something I'm able to rent him out for.

Not that you'd want HIM.

[mathemagier]

Excuse you.

[driftsintobuffetline]

:P

[majorlyugh]

if the guy doesn't show up eventually, who knows? i might get desperate. kidnap your bff in the middle of the night.

[driftsintobuffetline]

uh no. Sorry. He's mine. We traded bff rings and everything.

[majorlyugh]

oh damn, well you know it's serious when you trade bff rings.

[driftsintobuffetline]

lol yeah you're telling me

[majorlyugh]

i always wanted to do the bff necklace thing or like a bracelet but the bff was not as enthralled with the idea as i was. ):

[driftsintobuffetline]

That sucks. D: I mean, yeah, maybe it's kind of juvenile and admittedly I didn't think Hermann was going to go for it, but then he was the one to get them so. Your bestie may yet surprise you.

[majorlyugh]

if he ever shows up.

is there like a pattern or formula to it, by the way?

[driftsintobuffetline]

Hermann, this is your department.

[mathemagier]

[You can't hear it BUT HE IS SIGHING VERY LOUDLY]

The Porter does operate on a set schedule, however I can't know the probability a specific person will appear through it without first understanding how many dimensions it can reach into or the approximate populations of those dimensions for starters. There is a hypothesis that states that those that share a dimension have a higher chance of appearing here, suggesting some degree of correlation, but there are as yet too many variables to prove much of anything.

If your friend has been here before, then that's actually possible to calculate and chances significantly increase. Bearing in mind of course, that it's still quite low.

Essentially, it's possible but not worth worrying about too much.

[majorlyugh]

so you know that like

i was a jock, right? i mean, i was smart in some stuff, but most of my time was spent playing football?

so literally everything you just said went -whoosh- over my head. like almost all of it. like, i know what all of those words mean individually, but put together, you might as well go full klingon on me, man.

[mathemagier]

[Why did you do this to him, Newton.]

Yes, there's a pattern.

No, it's not likely your friend will appear.

[majorlyugh]

ah.

that's .. brutally disappointing, but i appreciate the honesty, man. 100%. i'd rather know the truth than get all caught up hoping, you know? do the whole like, 'i wrote you every day for a year!' thing in the rain when there's really no chance and no one's keeping those letters.

[mathemagier]

[Now that strikes a chord and he actually feels bad]

Sorry.

But this world isn't permanent in most cases, so if you have a life to return to, look forward to that instead. In the meantime, perhaps make more friends. It won't be the same, but that doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile.

[driftsintobuffetline]

"make more friends" says the nerd failing at just that.

[mathemagier]

Yes, well I don't need friends to be perfectly content.

[majorlyugh]

right. making friends. it wasn't really that hard in my last life, but it's weird here. i had a core group of people, who i knew were there for me always, forever. my best friend, my ex-fiancee, and her best friend. the four of us. no matter what.

i .. don't imagine i'll find that here.

but .. maybe that's okay. maybe that keeps what i had back home special or something.

[mathemagier]

What Newton means is, we're married.

[driftsintobuffetline]

What Hermann means is that he's about to be DIVORCED for ruining my fun.

Also you cannot tell me these are not ALSO bff rings.

[majorlyugh]

you're going to give me diabetes

[mathemagier]

I thought that was the watch and leather jacket.