video!

[beneathbluerafters]

Listen, I want to make something absolutely clear:

[ Klarion points the camera at something just outside his basement window. It's some kind of bug, maybe a beetle or a cockroach, but it's a bit difficult to tell which, since Klarion kind of sucks at focusing the video. The bug has been flipped over onto its back, and is squirming and flailing with all six legs to the sky. ]

This idiot tried to kick my window in, and came up against my protective wards. He did this to himself, he'll be back to normal in an hour or so. I had nothing to do with it, I'm not going back on probation again!

Comments

video.

[glowsferatu]

[ She waited for something like this for three whole months and he only steps out now? ]

Then don't wait an hour or two. Turn him back now.

[beneathbluerafters]

[ To be fair, he couldn't do anything like this for three whole months!

Klarion just rolls his eyes. Ugh, HER again. Kanaya hadn't been a bad parole officer, but he doesn't have to listen to her now! ]

If I let him stay like that for a short period, then he'll be less likely to try vandalizing my home again once he changes back, won't he? Give him a chance to reflect on his actions, that sort of thing?

[glowsferatu]

Are you kidding? You've just turned him into a little bug! That boy is done with vandalism for at least a year, if not an entire lifetime.

Turn him back.

video;

[heckblazer]

Wouldn't turning him into anything small enough to get through vents just give him better access to yer' house?

[ Yes, that is literally the only problem he sees with this. ]

[beneathbluerafters]

[ ... oh crap, he hadn't considered that! ]

I could adjust the wards to turn intruders into... I don't know, rats, or possums or something. Or else set them to fry, like one of those electric fences!

[slightlyoffchilt]

[A long, long exhale.]

Are you serious.

[beneathbluerafters]

I didn't do anything! He's the one who tripped the wards!

[slightlyoffchilt]

We talked about your relationship with the law.

[am_i_a_monster]

What if someone steps on him or an animal eats him before the hour is up?

[beneathbluerafters]

Then he'll have only his poor survival instincts to blame, and the animal will have a severe case of indigestion.

He'll probably be fine, as long as he stays out of trouble.

[am_i_a_monster]

You'll probably take the blame if he isn't okay. People are already quick to blame imports.

video.

[songwrite]

You can turn someone into a bug? [Archie should probably not think that's cool, but sue him that's so cool??]

Re: video.

[beneathbluerafters]

I can, and did.

[ IT IS COOL, PRAISE HIM, ARCHIE ]

[songwrite]

Is that like, magic? Is he thinking human thoughts or is he just totally a bug for an hour?? [Archie definitely sounds way more impressed than he ought to.]

Video

[dun_moch]

Well done. Clearly your defenses are not to be trifled with.

[See Klarion, Cool Dark Side Grandpa isn't judging you. If anything, he sounds impressed. And angry.]

I find it troubling that even the homes of our children are being targeted by this hatred. How fortunate that you have remained safe.

Re: Video

[beneathbluerafters]

[ Cool Dark Side Grandpa gets it! ]

While I appreciate the concern, don't patronize me. I'm hardly a child.

Video

[dun_moch]

[Dooku holds back a sigh, not for the first or last time where Klarion is concerned. Why can't you just let him milk this, Witch-Boy?]

I suppose a child would not have been so well-prepared against this intrusion. Tell me, what will you do with him now?

Video

[fehus]

In his defense, leaving bug-hexes lying around, much like leaving beartraps or digging bamboo pits around your property, is a little extreme for home security.

In your defense, fuck that guy.

[beneathbluerafters]

Exactly! 'Fuck' that guy! I'm hardly at fault for taking my home defenses seriously!

[ This is, in fact, the first time that Klarion has ever dropped the F-bomb. ]

[fehus]

[Magnus would be honoured to know he helped someone cuss for the first time. truly, truly touched]

Well, that's not like, exactly what I said, but that guy is definitely a dick.

If you wanna avoid going back on probation, though, you should probably make him be not a bug anymore.

audio

[h2no]

Got what was comin' to him. That's hilarious; you get it on video?

[beneathbluerafters]

I'm glad someone agrees. I caught a bit of it, but it isn't very clear.

[ After some fiddling, he manages to send the video to Archie. It's kind of a blurry mess, but there's definitely a foot coming towards the screen, followed by a bright flash and a scream of terror. ]

[h2no]

Ha! Look at that dumbass!

[bad it may be, but archie enjoys it nonetheless.]

Can you do those on commission?

video;

[hunksmash]

That's... Geez, man.

You should probably put him somewhere safe for that hour's worth of bug-time, don't you think?

Re: video;

[beneathbluerafters]

[ He heaves a sigh and rolls his eyes. ]

It's only going to last for ten minutes now, he'll be fine.