maskormenace | 1 💣 VIDEO.

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[ The feed turns on to show a blonde, mustached man in a white dress shirt — the sleeves rolled up to his elbows — and blue tie, currently attempting to juggle holding his communicator, lighting a cigarette, and holding his suit jacket in place (slung over his shoulder) all at once, because these are all clearly equally necessary tasks. When he speaks it's with a twangy Southern accent — recognizable as West Virginian to those who would — seemingly not all that perturbed by his situation. Maybe just slightly inconvenienced, but that's all. ]

So… I guess this is pretty weird, but let's be honest— while I may barely know of any of you, I feel like I can still speak for most of us when I say things could easily be weirder. Personally if anything, I feel like it was only a matter of time before I ended up in some alternate dimension... it's like eventually you just reach that stage in life when everything else crazy's pretty much already happened to you, so all you can say is, "Sure, why not?" Makes perfect sense. [ That might just be sarcasm. Although maybe not? An even mixture, probably. ] But the best part is—

[ This is about the point where Ray proves why it can be dangerous to record yourself and walk, because as he starts to cross the street the video suddenly bounces, his communicator flying as he is struck hard by a car, shattering the windshield before he's tossed off the vehicle with a shriek. Oh, not a car; the screen shortly reveals that it was, in fact, an ambulance. Ray can be heard yelling, cursing, and making all sorts of noise as then the ambulance bumps over something -- maybe the curb or maybe Ray himself -- as it moves to pull over. Audio somewhat muffled, he shouts after it: ]

Jeezus! Y'all call that driving?! [ Then, pained and more to himself: ] Dukes. Well that's gotta be some kinda record. But maybe pain's a good sign in this case... okay--

[ He groans from still-mostly-off-screen, straining as he tries to determine if he can still move his legs, let alone get up. ]

Oh, wow, they still work!

[ After Ray's gotten back up to his feet he reaches for his communicator again with his singularly gloved hand, looking surprisingly pleased for a man who was just in a traffic accident. And whose face is bleeding and lacerated by glass, some shards still stuck in it. In the background: sirens, so he's gonna walk... as quickly as he can away from the crash site. ]

All good! I'm good, it’s all good, just a little— [ He cracks his back, hissing in mild discomfort, then exhaling in harsh relief. ] Whew. That's better. Boy though, could that have been ugly… especially since that ambulance sure isn't going anywhere in a hurry now. Some welcome wagon.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[That last comment just gets a quick nod of acknowledgement and agreement.]

Favorites-- that's very difficult; I've found many that I like. I watched one - I've forgotten the title - that took place during the war; the first world war. Showing the trenches, and all that.

[It had been hard to watch, but also fascinating, and in a way, vindicating. Even with all the wars and worldwide changes that had happened since, people in the future still cared enough about the war he'd fought in to tell stories about it.]

[ Ray notes that nod, and is somewhat relieved for it himself. He knows the separation must be hard, but he also has no idea how he'd even begin comforting or reassuring someone over it.

And Alfie is... well, a bit stoic. Difficult to read a lot of the time, so far.

So, Ray nods in return, seamlessly shifting gears back to film. ]

Ugh, I know, it's impossible. There's so many great movies out there and they're all great for totally different reasons! [ Then he quirks an eyebrow in consideration. ] Oh, I don't think I know that one. Was it a historical fiction?

Yeah, you could call it that.

[It's his first time hearing that description as an actual genre name, but it's pretty self-explanatory - and Ray's enthusiasm here gets the barest hint of a grin crossing his face in response.]

Sounds like you've got all sorts of recommendations yourself, eh? Tell you what, give me some titles and I've find 'em and watch. I've just signed up for-- right, what do you call it, a streaming service? Internet on your television, DVDs not required.

Well I might have a few-- so, love to. Anything else you look for in a movie besides historical drama? Action, I assume... how about romance? Mystery, thrillers, beautiful actresses? I can go on.

I guess now I should get with the times and sign up for one of those myself, though. I've still just been buying DVDs, but it does seem a little ridiculous considering just how much there is to see these days.

Yeah, sure, any of that. No man would turn away beautiful actresses.

[Back home, movies are still new enough that Alfie hasn't really developed any kind of discerning palate for them - he'll enjoy almost anything simply because it's a movie. That's doubly true here, where nearly everything related to them is more impressive and advanced.]

I've got a DVD player, as well, and one of those Blu-Ray things.

If you can handle musicals, then I feel like I have to mention The Sound of Music and Fiddler On The Roof if you haven't already seen 'em-- both classics and historical. Plus I mean, who can ever get enough of Julie Andrews?

[ Then he considers a bit more, since those are just two very obvious examples off the top of his head. ]

I need to think about it some more, but I'll send you a list!

Music's good, yeah. What are those two about?

Well, Fiddler is about this man Tevye in Russia and his family, and how he's gotta deal with one of daughters wanting to marry this, like, penniless tailor she's known since she was a kid, and his other daughters wanting to marry an anarchist and a Christian, and then also, um... I wanna say the Revolution?

Then Sound of Music's about this woman, Maria, who starts working for the von Trapp family while she, y'know, figures her life out, but eventually Captain von Trapp realizes they all gotta flee Austria, cuz--

[ He pauses. Oh right... guess there's Nazis in that one... ]

Actually, scratch that. Try Gone With The Wind, it's a Civil War romance.

[The abrupt stop is noted, but not commented on, because Alfie's still stuck on Fiddler on the Roof.]

Tevye the Dairyman? There's been a film made of that? And people enjoy watching it?

Oh yeah, it's super popular! It was actually on Broadway for like, ever before they made the movie, but I didn't even know there was also a book.

[ That's just what he's assuming Alfie means, anyway. ]

Not a book, a story. A fairy tale.

Gentiles enjoy it as well?

[He sounds pretty surprised by this, but it's not a bad kind of surprised.]

Oh. Huh. The kind with a moral at the end?

[ It strikes him as weird for a fairy tale, but also probably not too weird if he were to think about it for longer... perhaps ironically, especially if he thought about it in comparison to some biblical stories. ]

Of course they do! I don't think I know of anyone that likes musicals who doesn't like that one, and it's not like any of them are Jews. [ He pauses. ] I mean... I think.

I'd like to see that one. There aren't Jewish films, in my time. No one would care to see them but us.

[ He makes a note of that; definitely useful to know while he puts together his recs list. ]

You have to let me know what you think! I mean, I dunno how accurate it is or anything, but the music's great.

When does it take place? What year?

Uhhhh... pretty sure it was 190-something. I mean, it seems like it'd have to be before World War I and II, but it's been a while since I saw it last.

Mm.

[Alfie pauses, then clarifies:]

My Mum's Russian; she came over from Russia. 190-something would have been after her time, but--

[But he's definitely still interested in seeing the movie. He's only ever heard stories about Russian Jewish life - he's never seen any of it in person, or even onscreen.]

Oh! Wow, then talk about your crazy coincidences. Somehow I wouldn't have pictured Russian.

[ And to think the recommendation only came to mind because it was the first movie about Jewish people he could think of. ]

Lucky thing it's actually a great story, too-- cuz usually when stuff like that gets popular, it's depressing as shit.

"Stuff like that"?

Uhh... movies about people they don't normally make movies about.

Mm.

[It's an mm that stands on its own, and comes with a significant eyebrow-raise.]

[ Ray raises one eyebrow slowly in return, but then both of them shoot upward. ]

Oh! No! No no no no, not like-- I mean it's not just Jewish movies, d'you know how old I was when I finally saw a movie with a gay person in it? And then he died at the end. [ A beat. ] Although it was still a pretty great movie.

Are those common too, here? Films about gay people?

[The phrasing sounds just a little awkward in his mouth; it's not one of the commonly-used terms of his day.]

No. I mean there are a few, but... [ He rolls his shoulders in a shrug. ] Most of the really famous ones are either awfully tragic or awfully stupid. Or both.

Guess I can't be too picky, though.

Why can't you?

[Alfie's pretty sure he'd be picky, in his shoes.]