video

[musclemothers]

A-hem, if I could have everyone's attention please! I've recently come to note that there's something of a... deficit in the imPort community. Sure, sure, you could try dating outside of our little community, but in light of all of this vandalism nonsense, do you really want to take that risk? After all, you may not figure out their ulterior motives until it's too late! Or they might just be a glory hound. Either/or.

[ Rusty himself has no problems with gloryhounds, but... that's not part of his pitch! ]

Anyhoo! To that end, I've designed an imPort-only dating app, accessible only from our very own communicators to make sure that no looky-loos get onto the system. All you do is upload a couple of the more flattering pictures you can take of yourself - and no dick pics, all you nasty horndogs out there, that'll be deleted automatically; if you like someone, you can do them the dignity of showing off your dick in-person, thank you very much - put up a brief blurb, and voila, love might be right around the corner!

[ He winks. It's not great. ]

And for next week, and next week only, I've made a deal with a few choice date locations as sponsors who will be willing to fund your romantic endeavors - just sign up, and our algorithm will do the rest. All you'll have to do is show up at the right place and time.

Ta-ta!

[ ... ]

Oh, fuck, and it's called imPress. Don't know how I missed that part...

[ ooc : if you want to sign up for randomized dates or if you just want your character to have a dating app on their profile you can use for future hook-ups, please direct your attention to THIS POST! thanks, and have fun! ]

Comments

video.

[crofts]

Was that a thoughtful inclusion, the automatic deletion of dick pics? Or just... a desperate bid to save yourself from them, rather than anyone else?

video.

[musclemothers]

It's called not wanting to be a walking lawsuit. ImPorts under 18 can use this thing, only to chat with other minors, of course, but God only knows what they'd use it for.

[ ... ]

Well. To be more accurate, God probably knows far, far too much about what they'd use it for.

PERMAvideo oh snaps

[crofts]

You're letting people under eighteen use a dating app?

( Maybe that isn't unusual. Is it unusual? She has no idea. )

Let us be thankful to be spared omnipotence. ( Gently, gently dry )

voice

[jojoceanman]

How generous of you. [almost too generous.] Are you going to use this for yourself?

voice

[musclemothers]

Well, I wouldn't be showing any trust in the algorithm if I weren't to give it a whirl myself, hmmm?

voice

[jojoceanman]

You really want to date an imPort though? You might have better chances finding a native date - be simpler too.

[Not that imPorts aren't normal people too, but... well... look they just get into a lot of trouble and it doesn't seem worth the headache.]

Video

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

I'm interested. It really doesn't cost anything?

[Someone hasn't had a date since Maeve jumped him.]

Re: Video

[musclemothers]

Oh, please. I'd need a much larger consumer base to launch this as a platform people would have to pay for. You'll see a few ads when you launch the app, and that'll pay for itself.

Video

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

Sounds good to me. What kind of sponsors do you have signed up for the locations?

[cantwalkwithoutit]

[ A chuckle. ] Really.

[musclemothers]

Really-really. I saw a gap in the market, and I took advantage of it. That's just how business works.

[cantwalkwithoutit]

These programs were of course widespread in the last world I lived in, but I'll admit I never made much sense of them. I can see their overall benefit, certainly --

[Text] let me know if you wanna opt-out of annoying chatpseak

[versusseeker]

can u use it jst 2 make frnds?

I'm fine with it!

[musclemothers]

While that's not exactly it's intended purpose, I don't see why not.

Just don't come crying to me if people get pissed at you for it.

[versusseeker]

y wud they b mad?

video;

[marriedmedium]

Well done, Rusty! It's so good of you to help out those who are unlucky in love!

video;

[musclemothers]

Er - ah... yes, of course! I'm nothing if not a charitable soul. I don't suppose you'll be using this, will you? After all, you've been here for quite some time.

Video

[liverletdie]

A dating app?

[ He's trying to sound supportive. It's hard. ]

Well, that sounds like it'll be very helpful. For those among us who need it.

Video

[musclemothers]

For imPorts who want to make real, meaningful connections with those around them, and not just ride off of the coattails of their fame! Or do you have a steady girlfriend, Mr. Stark?

video.

[flightforfreedom]

Okay, this I have to show to Finn.

So what's this algorithm exactly?

video.

[musclemothers]

Oh, it's a bit much to explain, really. It just takes into account your preferences - sexual and otherwise, of course - your hobbies, that sort of thing. Then it matches you up to the person you're most likely to gel with. Who knows? You could even meet your future spouse here!

VIDEO.

[handycapable]

Oh, well, that's clever. I imagine all that attention probably could get overwhelming, eventually... especially if it's gotten bad. Not that I really have much to compare it to.

[ Though isn't scrolling through dick pics half the fun of dating apps? ... No? Well, he won't question it. ]

VIDEO.

[musclemothers]

I mean, you're certainly free to go out and play the dating scene outside of our little community. You'll get all the attention you like. There's just the little matter of, oh... the fact that they went around vandalizing our buildings and stealing our shit last year. You wake up beside some...

[ He squints. Yeah. He's gay. ]

...man, next thing you know, you notice your kidney's gone!

permatext;

[reexamined]

There's no selection option for preferred species.

[Because there's like not a lot other than human here, Kay.]

[musclemothers]

And what would that drop down menu look like, exactly?