maskormenace | video - this time it's actually dogs

[orange. that's all the video shows for a moment, before a muffled] Shit, it's on already! [can be heard. then the view shifts; showing archie with a huge orange paw in his lap, while blue can be seen every now and then just out of frame.]

Ya see this? [archie puts his hand under the giant paw and holds it up so the camera shows it off a bit better. the huge bear-dog it's attached to boofs gently in... pride, probably. thems big beans.] This kinda stuff, ya gotta learn to do for free where we come from.

[he shifts the camera again, showing blue fully and sitting brushing a large (but not quite as big as arcanine) black dog.]

—anyway, so since I always had to help sis out with that, that’s how I know. You wouldn’t believe how she polishes up a Rock-type. [Blue says, seemingly mid-story and not to the camera as he carefully runs a course-bristle brush down Mightyena’s mane and along his back. The dog-Pokémon’s coat was glistening with a healthy sheen, the kind a doge got from a nice bath and grooming.] Jeez, you’re lucky. Mightyena’s coat is so silky, it’s totally easy to brush it out. Arcanine’s undercoat is shedding all the time! Constant tangles. —Hey, why’re you taping this, anyway?

[Blue flicks a brief raised eyebrow towards the camera, then casually holds the bristle brush between his teeth as he trims a bit of Mightyena’s fur, evening out the shag of his back so that it didn’t droop down and mat up along his stomach. There was a surprisingly expert manner to the way that he ran his fingers along and snipped, combed, snipped some more. When he’s done, he picks up what looks like a pastry from off screen and sets it down in front of Mightyena.]

Who doesn't wanna see these two when they're sleepy? Best way to make friends here, bro. Dogs.

[he shifts the camera, showing arcanine's face. the big dog is currently half asleep, tongue lolling out as it pants. mightyena is much the same, though fully asleep in blue's arms.]

Also, I got a couple things on my mind I wanna spout off about before I forget. [oh boy here we go.] Firstly, I watched all the Sharknado films and I'm gonna punch the director. Sharks don't infest waters, you fuckers. They live there! Second, on the topic of water, I guess if ya want a swimmin' lesson hit me up. I'll use my shark. If you're scared of it, don't bother, I ain't dealin' with that crap.

[archie is fully ignoring blue's reactions to all this. he pauses for a moment, pushing his thumbs into the biggest pad on arcanine's paw gently.]

...Thirdly, if anyone has a... dyeing power, let me know. I need to know. For a friend. Who's going prematurely grey.

[Blue, realizing mid-explanation on the care of Rock-types that he is being ignored, shoots Archie a flat glare in the background, then looks directly at the camera and rolls his eyes.]