video | ❝ black hole sun ❞

[quickfingers]

[So Peter's coming at you vlog style, sitting on a bench with his earbuds in before he pulls them out and loops the cord around his neck to have them stay put. He's adapted pretty well to the whole new age technology thing bit by bit, but talking into a phone camera is mega weird. Sorry for weird angles, he's working this shit out.]

Yo, so last month you guys were real cool about the whole ordering pizza thing - thanks for that. Pie In The Sky got shut down for a while after the place got trashed, and they decided to rebrand while they were doing their repairs. [He holds up a paper flyer. He's been handing these out all day, jamming them in mailboxes, mail slots and even inside people's vehicles and any open windows. You're free to find them just about anywhere, in potentially great volume. Sorry not sorry.] So Porter Pizza'll be reopening on the 9th.

There'll be free slices, some great deals and you can help 'em get back on their feet after all that shit that went down. The joint's run by some cool people and I'm still doing deliveries, so I can guarantee you'll get a hot pizza every time. If you don't believe me, give it a shot and I'll show you up.

[He doesn't really have much else to announce but he doesn't feel like dishing out any more flyers so he gets comfortable on the bench. He furrows his brow and hell, why not:] I'm gonna start a war and I don't even care: Pineapple on pizza, yay or nay?

Comments

[incogneto]

You can have whatever you want, it's your pizza.

[quickfingers]

No, but Dad. Dad.

[Shaking his head, you don't get it.] It's a serious thing. Whether pineapple belongs there or not.

video

[h2no]

Yay. Also, I didn't forget the free pie you promised me, kid.

[quickfingers]

You know I'm good for it. You might wanna save it 'til their prices jack back up but I'll get you your pie.

With pineapple on it. [He takes a deliberate pause, delivering his next line so monotone it's hard to tell if he's speaking his mind or instigating the fight:] You monster.

audio;

[rosegroomed]

Pineapple? What kind of pizza involves pineapple?

[quickfingers]

Sinners' pizzas, man.

Some people just wanna watch the world burn, y'know?

audio;

[rekt]

Is the delivery free too?

[quickfingers]

You know what, sure - for the weekend at least. [He usually makes enough in tips that it won't really kill him to lose out on the delivery charge for two days. And it's not like he has to gas his car up.]

After that standard rates apply. Still expect a tip though.

[aggressiveapathy]

Pineapple pizza sends you to a specific layer of hell.

Do you sleep?

[ how many hours of the day can she order a pizza and he still be the one that brings it ]

[quickfingers]

Occasionally. I find it's for the weak, much like pineapple pizza.

[But, eh, he shrugs.] I work regular evenings, at least starting again Saturday.

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[fridgeflower]

I don't get what's so bad about the pineapple thing.

I like ham and pineapple. The flavor and texture contrast with the cheese is nice.

[quickfingers]

But it's just... wrong. I don't know. [He huffs.]

Hawaiian pizza is a lie, anyway. It was dreamed up by some crazy dude in Canada.

Voice

[namesaquestion]

Sure. It goes on pizza.

[Niko, you didn't even know wtf pineapple was before you came here.]

Meatlovers and Pineapple is good.

[quickfingers]

Alright, I guess I can agree to kind of disagree because I just got slammed with someone's even weirder idea of what should be on pizza.

Peanuts: Yay or Nay. Really, really nay, right?

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Giant, resounding nay! Pineapple juice soaks into the rest of the pizza, and then the whole thing tastes like pineapple!

[quickfingers]

Right? Some people are just like 'oh, pick it off if you don't like it!' but excuse me, pineapple - like onion - just doesn't come off that easily. It leaves behind a certain... taint.

Text; UN: D33

[d33tached]

[Hold the phone.]

Am I correct in understanding that this business will deliver food to one's home upon request?

[Uhh, game changer.]

[quickfingers]

That is how I make my bank, yepper.
You've never had food delivered before?

text

[h2no]

YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR FIGURE, D33.
I AIN'T HAVING YOU AIRLIFTED OUT THAT ROOM.
ONE A WEEK. YOU HEAR?

[magneticxman]

Pineapple is better than bacon, but neither belong on pizza.

I saw your flyers, good luck with the reopening.

[quickfingers]

Thanks, you should stop by if you'd like freebies. [He still has to adjust to a new sister but hey, brothers gotta look out for 'em.]

Bacon got overhyped. It's a breakfast thing, maaaybe a sandwich thing. Anything else is reaching.

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[lempereur]

Free? Is there a catch?

[ Congrats, free food is the absolute best way to get Yusuke's attention. ]

Pineapple would not be my first choice, but I am not offended by it. I am not a picky eater.

[quickfingers]

Nah, at least not on Saturday - it's a sweet promo you should take advantage of.

[He starts folding one of his leftover flyers into an origami... well it was supposed to be a dog, looks more like a pig.] We have sooo many better options than pineapple, too. What's your fave flavor?

video

[am_i_a_monster]

It's not a must have, but there's nothing wrong with pineapple on pizza.

Have you tried venison on a pizza?

[quickfingers]

[There is so much wrong with it on pizza but - he holds off the argument for argument's sake.]

No... that's like deer, right?

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[bassackwards]

Honestly, I'll eat just about anything on pizza. I'm an equal opportunity pizza devourer.

[quickfingers]

Even crushed peanuts? [Sorry Dad, he really needs to drag this idea around more for other people's reactions 'cause he still doesn't Get It.

He leans in as if to whisper to the camera lens:] My dad thinks that sounds good for a pizza. Chicken, peanuts and pineapple.