eihwaz | text ✺ His deals are so wild'n'crazy, you'll wonder if he's like, doing okay, actually.

[fehus]

hey. two things:

1. where do unsettled imPorts go to get their non-standard gear? trying search terms like "Big Al's Wild'N'Crazy Battle Boy Emporium" is bringing me to some cool sites (did you guys know there's a developing roomba ultimate fighting ring in MF?) but not the ones i'm actually looking for. thanks.

2. what would you do with your last day on whatever-non-specific-planet-or-plane-of-existence you came from? inquiring battle boys want to know, i guess.

EDIT: a third thing 3. where are there chocolate fountains?

Comments

[crimeboy]

1. What kind of gear are you looking for? Are we talking gun/knives/flamethrowers or like. Chainmail and swords or what?

2. Probably just hang out with my friends. We might go out to eat at a buffet or something? That'd be nice.

[Also definitely do crimes. A few harmless ones, probably.]

[fehus]

1. nothing offensive. just a shield. NOTE FOR THE GOVERNMENT: I'M NOT DOING ILLEGAL HERO SHIT OR WHATEVER, I'M A LARPER (fyi I'm not really a LARPer)

2. which buffet, though? there's so many choices.

[crimeboy]

1. Haha, I could see what I can find shield-wise! Admittedly i haven't looked for one yet because it's not really my style.

2. There's this really nice one at a hotel in Shibuya that we've gone to before. It's super ritzy and one of my friends got two complimentary chocolate fountains from there.

[fehus]

1. is your style guns/knives/flamethrowers/chainmail/swords, all at once? because if Big Al existed he'd be wetting his pants. dream customer.

2. i'm not totally sure what a chocolate fountain is but i feel like context clues are telling me it's totally incredible.

[crimeboy]

1. I've never tried chainmail or flamethrowers before! But I'm open to new experiences!

2. You know chocolate, right? You melt it and put it in this fountain and it flows like water and you just. DIP stuff in it. Put it oon a stick and dip it.

[garotted]

Ok but I've got the sword for you obviously, you just need a shield.

[fehus]

1. i'd prefer to be less open, with the shield between me and the gun/knife/flamethrower/sword. thanks, by the way.

2. my brain just shut off from reading that. i don't think anybody's going to top that last meal.

[fehus]

i'm thinking about buying a chocolate fountain instead.

(jk)

can i pick the stick?

[crimeboy]

1. I feel like that's fair. But imagine having a gun that shot a big column of fire. It's probably too heavy for me to carry...

2. RIGHT? I'd love to get one of those around here. But I honestly have no idea where to start looking.

[fehus]

1. i've had some bad experiences with big columns of fire, i think i'm good.

2. want me to edit my post and crowdsource it? i don't know why i'm asking, i'm already doing it.

[crimeboy]

1. It does seem pretty dangerous, really. Fire is kind of unpredictable.

2. Dude if you find any. I've got to check it out. Nothing like a cascade of chocolate!

[fehus]

oh look we're not talking about that anymore.

i hope someone's invented a portable mini-one.

[garotted]

I'd be willing to find space in our camp for that.

You can, because you're my favorite golden retriever.

[fehus]

space? it needs a place of honour. maybe you could give it your spot in the tent and sleep outside.

woof, what an insult. also, i feel weird not connecting to my weapon now.

[garotted]

Excuse you, you're the dog here. Go find a spot by the fire, Fido.

Because you suck at weapons and your usual one talks. It's fine, it's just for practice.

[fehus]

dogs can't eat chocolate and Fido just leaped to the top of the list of nicknames i am not into.

i'm picking it out and there's nothing you can do to stop me from naming or bonding with it. names i'm thinking about so far: Ol' Knobby, The Swatter, and Jason.

[crimeboy]

You got, boss. [Imagine i found some way to insert the "ok hand" emoji here. Akira can drop that subject.]

I had one in my house before, but I wouldn't call it 'mini'. I think they do have some that can be put on your counter though? At least, where I'm from.

[fehus]

magnus.

i'm gonna dare to ask it. damn the consequences. can they be weaponized?

[crimeboy]

Akira! Nice to meet you!

I... haven't seen them weaponized... But honestly if you try hard enough you probably can. What kind of thing would you want to accomplish there? Like a water gun that shot chocolate?

[Great. Now he was thinking of how to make that feasible. If you could just put a portable warming agent in it... coat people in warm chocolate??? He's not sure why you'd want to but you COULD.]

[fehus]

you too, man.

maybe like a freeze ray gun? except instead of slowing somebody down by making them a snowman, you make a chocolate bunny thing happen.

Text.

[flightforfreedom]

Do I want to know what 'Big Al's Wild'N'Crazy Battle Boy Emporium' is? Or even just what a 'battle boy' is?

Pretty sure on my last day I'd be fighting the same fight I was when I was there. The day before I came here was not exactly the best one.

Re: Text.

[fehus]

they are both things i made up.

i think a lot of people got dumped here in the middle of important stuff like that. but it's just a hypothetical. if you had a choice, and nothing was going on.

[garotted]

I could think of worse. Spot, Fluffy, Ol' Yeller.

Be careful, Jack may get jealous.
Or try to hit on it.

[crimeboy]

Oh man, that'd be pretty cool. I could see what my roommate thinks about it? Like apparently he makes some themed gadgets for super heroes. Cisco Ramon, if you've ever heard of him.

I don't know if it'd be my deal but I definitely want to know if it's possible!

[fehus]

ol' yeller is mean but also the most appropriate.

i don't have enough time in my day to stop jack from flirting.