eihwaz | text ✺ His deals are so wild'n'crazy, you'll wonder if he's like, doing okay, actually.

[fehus]

hey. two things:

1. where do unsettled imPorts go to get their non-standard gear? trying search terms like "Big Al's Wild'N'Crazy Battle Boy Emporium" is bringing me to some cool sites (did you guys know there's a developing roomba ultimate fighting ring in MF?) but not the ones i'm actually looking for. thanks.

2. what would you do with your last day on whatever-non-specific-planet-or-plane-of-existence you came from? inquiring battle boys want to know, i guess.

EDIT: a third thing 3. where are there chocolate fountains?

Comments

[crimeboy]

1. What kind of gear are you looking for? Are we talking gun/knives/flamethrowers or like. Chainmail and swords or what?

2. Probably just hang out with my friends. We might go out to eat at a buffet or something? That'd be nice.

[Also definitely do crimes. A few harmless ones, probably.]

[fehus]

1. nothing offensive. just a shield. NOTE FOR THE GOVERNMENT: I'M NOT DOING ILLEGAL HERO SHIT OR WHATEVER, I'M A LARPER (fyi I'm not really a LARPer)

2. which buffet, though? there's so many choices.

[garotted]

Ok but I've got the sword for you obviously, you just need a shield.

[fehus]

i'm thinking about buying a chocolate fountain instead.

(jk)

can i pick the stick?

Text.

[flightforfreedom]

Do I want to know what 'Big Al's Wild'N'Crazy Battle Boy Emporium' is? Or even just what a 'battle boy' is?

Pretty sure on my last day I'd be fighting the same fight I was when I was there. The day before I came here was not exactly the best one.

Re: Text.

[fehus]

they are both things i made up.

i think a lot of people got dumped here in the middle of important stuff like that. but it's just a hypothetical. if you had a choice, and nothing was going on.

text

[h2no]

I LOOKED THAT UP BECAUSE I WAS CURIOUS FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME SEE THAT

Re: text

[fehus]

it's intense, right?

wait are you talking about chocolate fountains or roomba death fights

Text

[d33tached]

What in the world is a "chocolate fountain"?

[It's a fountain of chocolate, D33. Pretty self-explanatory. He's completely disgusted by the idea, by the way.]

Re: Text

[fehus]

source. sounds incredible, right?

[nightmarist]

a chocolate fountain can be arranged

[fehus]

i'm too excited about chocolate to point out the absurdity of you using your insane powers for that or to even make a good, clean cannibal joke.

[picksthenames]

1. depending on what sort of gear you're looking for I can build it for you. its kind of what i do.

2. depends on why its my last day. if im dying of cancer or something, id probably just try to have the Best Day Ever. if the world is ending bc of some big bad villain guy, id probably spend my day trying to stop it.

[fehus]

1. you might want to take that back when i tell you i'm looking for a circular viking shield.

2. let's go with door #1, Best Day Ever.

[text]

[candor1]

2. sit on a beach with best friend

[…did he just type that out
why did he just type that out?
well, he did.

Is it true?
Other than having happened that way?
But the question implies by choice

…yes.

The only thing he'd change, if he'd been able to control it, would be best friends


Doesn't know why.
But hits send.]

Re: [text]

[fehus]

that's a really nice way to spend any day, but especially a last one, yeah.

[beneathbluerafters]

there are CHOCOLATE FOUNTAINS?!

[fehus]

yes. fountains of chocolate.

TEXT.

[specialise]

Learn how to swim.

[ it's the closest feeling to spacewalking raven will ever get. ]

Yours, Inquiring Battle Boy?

Re: TEXT.

[fehus]

you could do that now?

i'd want to go on a picnic hike in the blue mountains with my friends.

[ghoulking]

What are you looking for?

Chocolate fountains are pretty easy to find. I'm sure places like Amazon have them online. Whatever "Amazon" is called here.

[ he isn't answering that second question though ]

[fehus]

a shield.

i think it's hotdAmazon.

text;

[hunksmash]

1. that is a very specific search term. you can be more general. or try craigslist or something.

2. i'd just want to make sure everybody had a good meal i guess?? i don't. this is dark, dude.

3. home and kitchen goods store. or somewhere that sells a lot of 'as seen on tv' crud. so... bed, bath, and beyond, probably.

Re: text;

[fehus]

1. i tried craigslist, but you'd be surprised at the number of people who want to come to your place with the shield.

2. whoops i guess it is kind of dark. that's a pretty selfless last day though.

3. my friend is actually dreaming one into reality for me which i think is what the beyond part of bed bath and beyond must be.

[am_i_a_monster]

2. I'd try to make it not my last day.

3. A kitchen supply shop. I think any place that sells fondue sets would sell chocolate fountains too.

[fehus]

2. smart. i feel that.

3. i actually got this sorted through dream magic, but thanks for the tip on fondue. i've never had it. too classy.

text;

[rosegroomed]

1. Explain "roomba ultimate fighting ring". This is important. Respond as immediately as you are able.

2. Die. I wouldn't want to deal with the suspense.

3. Again: explain "chocolate fountains", respond ASAP, etc. etc.

Re: text;

[fehus]

1. did you ever watch battlebots? it's like that, except the roombas are sentient and controlling themselves, and it's the best thing i've ever heard of.

2. wow. you must hate hitchcock. but i sorta get it, too. it's a lot of pressure to have something like the end hanging over you.

3. a chocolate fountain is a fountain that circulates melted chocolate. you can dip stuff in it.

[bassackwards]

this all kind of sounds like you're planning to go out in a blaze of glory fighting a roomba

[fehus]

damn, you sleuthed me out. don't try to stop me, my mind's made up.

[songwrite]

[a link comes attached to this text!]

there's some imports who do gear (and costumes!!)

also are u really getting a chocolate fountain

[for your.. tent..... MAGNUS.....]

[fehus]

i'm not getting a costume, for the 5th time, archibald. and i actually just hired a guy to make me a shield, but this link is cool, thanks.

my chocolate fountain is immanent. my friend is dreaming it into existence with magic for me.

[itcanwait]

1. don't know don't need gear.

2. last day how? I've had a last day before, but if i could do it again i'd tell cyclonus how i really feel about him. if it's just a last day cause the universe is ending or something (and we're not trying to stop it for some reason) then i'd like to go somewhere beautiful with him and watch a sunrise or sunset with him and still tell him how i feel

3. i need one of these!

[fehus]

whoa. it's not my business, but if you feel that strongly, maybe you should talk to him sooner than the end of the world?

cyclonus is also a really badass name.

text;

[heisenbitch]

That'd be one slow ass fight

Re: text;

[fehus]

you think that'd make it boring, but it just makes it more suspenseful and brutal, man.

[dreadinquisitor]

I'd spend it with those closest to me. Hopefully laughing, speaking of anything but the end of things. And hopefully with plenty of wine.

Why do you ask?

[fehus]

Just curious and morbid, I guess.

[that's probably not it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

Where would you go?