2.He | voice & text; anonymous (& identity protected by encryptions)

[doctopussy]

[ The voice that speaks isn't Otto's; it's a Voice-To-Text robot. He then includes a text transcription to reach the widest audience possible. ]

Good evening, imPorts.

There is a significant matter which we need to discuss:

How shall we destroy the Porter?

Comments

Text

[drivesadesk]

Wait, why are we destroying the Porter?

permatext

[doctopussy]

Our options are few.

First, we accept the situation as is. Our lives and our fates left to the whim of a machine that is barely understood and cannot be communicated with. And quite possibly, that option may one day be taken out of our hands.

Second, we seek to control the Porter. In that case, whoever controls the Porter becomes the de facto ruler of this world. Shall it be a democracy? Or will it be fascism?

Third, we take control and return everyone to the worlds from whence they came. An unsatisfactory temporary solution. What would stop others from bringing in more after our departure?

Therefore, there is a fourth option: we destroy it and end this cycle forever.

text

[4thdimensional]

What the hell are you on about?

[His fingers are shaking, just a little. No need to think whoever's saying this has the means and a plan yet, but. This is a bad idea.]

permatext

[doctopussy]

I believe I was perfectly clear. It is a simple question: how do we destroy the porter?

text;

[itistolaugh]

asking because you want to stay here forever or because there's someone you REALLY want to keep out?

permatext

[doctopussy]

I am asking because it is the best chance we have to take back control of our own lives.

text

[h2no]

HIT IT REALLY HARD WITH A BAT.
THROW A BUCKET OF WATER OVER IT.
SET IT ON FIRE.
TALK AT IT UNTIL IT SELF IMPLODES.
GET SOMEONE BIG TO STAND ON IT.
GET EVERYONE TO STAND ON IT SO THE COMBINED WEIGHT CRUSHES IT.
RUBE-GOLDBERG MACHINE.
PUT IT IN A BLENDER.
BETRAY IT, DESTROYING ITS TRUST.
PUT IT UNDER A HYDRAULIC PRESS.
STAB IT WITH A SUPER HEATED KNIFE.
STAB IT WITH A NORMAL KNIFE.
MICROWAVE IT.
PUT IT IN A LAKE.
GIVE A TEENAGER A TOOLBOX AND SET THEM LOOSE.
THROW IT OFF A BRIDGE.

I COULD GO ALL NIGHT.
GET CREATIVE, BRO.

permatext

[doctopussy]

Creativity does not cancel out stupidity.

Text

[cantwalkwithoutit]

You shan't.

permatext

[doctopussy]

Shan't I?

[glowsferatu]

learn how to swim

[doctopussy]

[ This one he cannot parse without context. ]

Explain your reasoning.

text;

[reexamined]

How about you try, and we watch?

permatext

[doctopussy]

Thank you so much for your contribution to this discussion.

text

[flightforfreedom]

[ - Uh -- ]

I think I missed the council meeting on this one.

Was there a vote? Pretty sure I didn't get a vote.

[doctopussy]

There is no council nor is there a vote. The only thing left to us is research and action.

text;

[soldierman]

First, why?

[doctopussy]

If you wish, you can read my responses to similar lines of inquiry elsewhere in this post.

The short answer is because I feel that is the option that would end this once and for all with the least amount of chance of everything going wrong.

Text

[dun_moch]

[Well, now. You've got Count Dooku's immediate and rapt attention, anon.]

There are three great obstacles that must be overcome before the destruction of the Porter can even be attempted.

First, the military of this country must be persuaded or removed away from protecting it.

Second, the entity controlling the machine must be confronted. Considering the vast power it wields, this will be no easy task.

Third, any attempt would need to reckon with the consequences of destroying such a powerful device. The results could easily be cataclysmic, for this world and perhaps other worlds.

permatext

[doctopussy]

First, there are far more options to deal with the military problem than those two and you know it.

Second, I would argue that a confrontation is best to be avoided. If it is to be destroyed it must be swift and final.

Third, I concede your point. I do wonder what would happen to the timelines of respective universes without the Porter to send imports back home to the moment they left.

voice;

[wizzardly]

With just our words? Preferably? ...Perhaps some positive visualization?

text-to-voice

[doctopussy]

Your cowardice has been noted.

Voice

[liverletdie]

That can't possibly backfire.

text-to-voice

[doctopussy]

Then illuminate me as to the potential repercussions as you see it.

{Text}

[tauraran]

With swift might, I pray, and soon. Unless doing so leads to our permanent imprisonment in this realm? Have you considered such an outcome?

permatext

[doctopussy]

[ The brief moment of "finally someone gets the point" ends as quickly as it comes with that second question. ]

I have considered the outcome and deemed it a risk I am willing to take. Or, to put it another way, I consider our permanent stay here to be better than the alternative.

Text; UN: D33

[d33tached]

Had destroying the Porter been such a simple task, surely it would have been done by now.

[There's a pause, and then:]

What is your motive behind this?

permatext

[doctopussy]

If it was a simple task, I would do it immediately without bothering to quiz the network about methods. I am not interested in discussing whether or not it is the best option, I'm interested in discussing the methodology.

So to make this short, my motive is to no longer live in fear of the Porter. I do not wish to be subject to its whims any longer than I need to.

[text]

[hellrisen02]

No no, you can't do this over text. Everyone has to be sitting around a fancy table with their faces in shadow and their hands arched all evil-like.

permatext

[doctopussy]

You immediately assume such an act would be evil. So many people here would do it under certain conditions, people who you probably wouldn't describe as such. The true evil is complacency while nothing is done.

text

[onlydoubts]

Do you even know what that would do, if you destroyed it?

[doctopussy]

With so little known about the Porter, the exact extent the effects would take is currently an unknown and the one I am looking into. However, I sincerely believe that regardless of some the effects are negative it is worth the risk.

[ text ]

[ghoulking]

You are jumping a lot of important steps. But especially a really big one by the name of Lachesis.

[doctopussy]

The "goddess" mentioned by the one who uses Green Text. When I said I wanted to escape her fate I was unaware I was being literal.

If I'm missing steps I would like to fill them out, that is part of determining the methodology. If you would elaborate on your thinking?

Text

[pale_blue_arrow]

throw more cliches at it until it dies of embarrassment.

you've already done the voice-in-the-night cliche, the villainous rhetorical question one, the evil sounds deep one and the useless-threat-to-show-my-villain-status one, but there's others

maybe get a mask and a 40's style suit

or a mustache to twirl if you don't have one already

try laughing maniacally more often

permatext

[doctopussy]

Why do you immediately assume the intent is villainous? I wish to defeat the real evil: the Porter. Wouldn't that make me a hero?

[Text]

[sleight_of_hand]

Thaaaaaaaaaaaat seems like an extraordinarily dumb idea.

permatext

[doctopussy]

Explain your reasoning.

text;

[heisenbitch]

I'm assuming "we" means "you"

permatext

[doctopussy]

We.

Eventually we all will have to destroy the Porter one way or the other. Therefore, a method must be devised as a community.

But don't misunderstand me, I'm perfectly willing to do the job myself.

[text]

[cigarbribery]

Because there's no way even trying to reach it is going to go horribly wrong for anyone.

permatext

[doctopussy]

We don't need to reach it in order to destroy it.

un: Anonymous

[the_admin]

A weaponized computer virus capable of ... actually I'll keep those details to myself.

Because I'm going to agree with what has already been said here. This sounds like an inadvisable course of action without being able to fully understand what might happen.

Besides. The Porter doesn't appear to be the source of our subjugation. If anything, it appears to be under greater subjugation by the government than we ourselves.

Just two anons being anons

[doctopussy]

I'm well aware at what the wide opinion is. I've already committed myself to more research on the topic so let's put aside that pointless and redundant objection and get to the far more interesting point you deemed necessary to make.

Am I correct in assuming you feel sympathy for the Porter?

text

[bindsthedead]

I'm going to agree with everyone else here that this is a bad idea. We don't know anything about the Porter's true nature, beyond that whatever's in it wants to be left alone.

Aside from bringing us here, it doesn't seem to have done anything. Other factions seem to be the source of more of our troubles.

permatext

[doctopussy]

"Other factions" don't matter. They are mere distractions, I have no doubt that numerous people investigating them will keep them at bay. There does seem to be some semblance of competency within certain members of our community.

What makes you think that whatever it is inside the Porter wants to be left alone?