maskormenace | 💣 011

[These days, when Alfie gets on the network to make a post - not just a comment, but a full post - it's generally because he's at least a little bit drunk. Today is no exception. He's also even more grumbly and mumbly than usual, and that combined with his thick accent means he's also probably even harder to understand than normal, so apologies for that, world.]

Twelve months I've been here, now; that's edging toward outlier status, isn't it? Mm, yeah. I've seen people come, I've seen people go, I've made a call to invite someone over for dinner during the holidays only to find out they've fucking vanished into thin air overnight.

[Pour one out for Dr. Eldarov. He grunts, irritably, and then abruptly changes the subject.]

Right - but I've decided to quit my job. Yeah, that's gonna be my gift to myself for my one-year anniversary, and for the new year; my people's new year. And as such, I'll be taking bets on how long it'll be before they notice.

[Because of course he's not just going to call up and let them know he's leaving. He's made a hobby out of being irritating at work, so why stop now?]

It was a weekly thing, my radio show, so I'll take guesses at one week, two weeks, three, and so on. Winner, I'll buy a drink; whatever you like. Unless you're a kid or something, I dunno; then I'll buy you a lolly. I'd suggest getting your bets in before Sir Robot makes headway on his surely-doomed plan to destroy the porter and fucks everything up for a bit. Shanah fucking Tovah.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

One that requires travel to the locations and shoots they choose. {He sighs.} It is tiresome to be monitored like a criminal.

You can quit, of course.

Actor or model?

The job is not what bothers me.

Model.

Ah, thought so. I can't picture you as an actor, mate.

Meaning I am not a skilled liar? Thank you.

I wouldn't call that a compliment, mate; there's all sorts of good reasons why soemone might want to be able to lie a bit.

I see no reason for it. {If the truth is so unsavory, that in itself is a problem, is it not? Besides, he can simply not speak.}

What about a white lie, then? Surely you tell those, from time to time. "Yes, sir, you look dashing in that suit; very professional". That sort of thing.

No, I do not. If I feel compelled to say something, I will. Otherwise I refrain.

I refuse to believe that that strategy works all the time, mate.

I am a king. Who do I need to impress or flatter?

That was only one example.

I can think of many circumstances and none of them force me to tell a white lie.

Then you aren't very imaginative.

Or you do not know the willpower of an Elf.

That I don't, no.

You will either learn or not.

💣 011 | audio

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}

{Video}