💣 011 | audio

[devoutish]

[These days, when Alfie gets on the network to make a post - not just a comment, but a full post - it's generally because he's at least a little bit drunk. Today is no exception. He's also even more grumbly and mumbly than usual, and that combined with his thick accent means he's also probably even harder to understand than normal, so apologies for that, world.]

Twelve months I've been here, now; that's edging toward outlier status, isn't it? Mm, yeah. I've seen people come, I've seen people go, I've made a call to invite someone over for dinner during the holidays only to find out they've fucking vanished into thin air overnight.

[Pour one out for Dr. Eldarov. He grunts, irritably, and then abruptly changes the subject.]

Right - but I've decided to quit my job. Yeah, that's gonna be my gift to myself for my one-year anniversary, and for the new year; my people's new year. And as such, I'll be taking bets on how long it'll be before they notice.

[Because of course he's not just going to call up and let them know he's leaving. He's made a hobby out of being irritating at work, so why stop now?]

It was a weekly thing, my radio show, so I'll take guesses at one week, two weeks, three, and so on. Winner, I'll buy a drink; whatever you like. Unless you're a kid or something, I dunno; then I'll buy you a lolly. I'd suggest getting your bets in before Sir Robot makes headway on his surely-doomed plan to destroy the porter and fucks everything up for a bit. Shanah fucking Tovah.

Comments

[damasks]

. . . What are you going to do with your time instead of working?

[She's genuinely confused. What Else Is There. Also, as a note, she's clearly very young but appears unfazed by both the drunkenness and the swearing. Like she'd prefer you didn't, but. Adults are generally a mess.]

[devoutish]

Oh, I'll find something, I'm sure.

[Like the crime that's always been more lucrative than the radio station gig, for example.]

Yeah, there's a whole futuristic world out there; all sorts of things to fill a day with.

[damasks]

Like drinking?

[oh my god lucy you're not his mom]

audio

[h2no]

Three week and fourteen missed calls.

[he has to assume alfie wouldn't give a fuck about any attempts to contact him on their part.]

You doin' alright, bro?

audio

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[He's annoyed and grumpy and homesick, but he could be worse.]

Three weeks and fourteen missed calls - right. Care to make a guess at what exactly will finally cause them to take the hint? A correct guess there will get you a second drink.

Re: audio

[h2no]

Uh huh.

[he clearly doesn't believe that but knows it's not his place to press. so he leaves it at that vaguely passive-aggressive grunt.]

On the fifteenth call, you answer and tell 'em to fuck off.

audio

[fehus]

[Alfie may or may not remember this kid, who had a lot of Opinions about how the government should go fuck itself]

Aw, man. I was a big fan of your show. I just got through the backlog, too.

Also the Mad Robot had to crowdsource his brilliant plan, I dunno if he's gonna get as far as fucking everything up for a bit.

audio

[devoutish]

A copier will pop up soon enough, I expect; they do seem to enjoy that. "Cosplay" and the like.

He might fuck things up in a way that causes annoyance.

Re: audio

[fehus]

That's not what cosplay is?

I wonder if the Registered Heroes would have to fight him.

[exceptionalthief]

Radio show, you don't say. You know, it could be a lot worse.

[Like being an assistant manager at the Year-Round Christmas Corner.]

[devoutish]

Which is why I stuck it out for a full year, yes. Still - time for a change.

voice;

[aloadeddie]

The end of an era. I especially liked "Banana Pudding".

[ Arthur likes cooking and in his research on imports found the radio show. It's funny! ]

voice;

[devoutish]

Ah - which one was that again? The one where I sent them off looking for a rare, essential spice that didn't exist?

[That had been fun.]

[hombrenuevo]

I can drink!

[ Chico is very put out by this limitation in betting. ]

[devoutish]

I'd give you a few sips.

[This is where Alfie's casual sexism comes into play. If Chico were a thirteen-year-old girl, it'd be a hard no, but providing small amounts of hard liquor to a thirteen-year-old boy is fine.]

audio

[youresovein]

Well, happy anniversary and congratulations, I suppose, on your newfound freedom. Did show business not agree with you?

audio

[devoutish]

It couldn't completely disagree with me, could it, since I stuck it out for a year. But all the same - time for a change.

{Video}

[tauraran]

How will you fill your time? {The jobs are silly and tiresome, but his, at least, is offering unique experiences.} I would grow bored whiling away the hours in my home.

{Video}

[devoutish]

Surely you've also got other things other than your job, here.

voice;

[uncledad]

And what happens if we win this bet, and disappear before we're able to collect our winnings?

voice;

[devoutish]

Then that's a prize on it's own, isn't it?

Audio

[ghoulking]

Why not just tell them you won't be returning?

Audio

[devoutish]

Kaneki, honestly, where's the fun in that?

audio;

[picksthenames]

[ Cisco has had enough Jewish friends to pick up on which holiday he means. ] Shanah Tovah, I guess? And congrats on quitting your job.

audio;

[devoutish]

Thanks, mate. New year, new life, mm?