💣 011 | audio

[devoutish]

[These days, when Alfie gets on the network to make a post - not just a comment, but a full post - it's generally because he's at least a little bit drunk. Today is no exception. He's also even more grumbly and mumbly than usual, and that combined with his thick accent means he's also probably even harder to understand than normal, so apologies for that, world.]

Twelve months I've been here, now; that's edging toward outlier status, isn't it? Mm, yeah. I've seen people come, I've seen people go, I've made a call to invite someone over for dinner during the holidays only to find out they've fucking vanished into thin air overnight.

[Pour one out for Dr. Eldarov. He grunts, irritably, and then abruptly changes the subject.]

Right - but I've decided to quit my job. Yeah, that's gonna be my gift to myself for my one-year anniversary, and for the new year; my people's new year. And as such, I'll be taking bets on how long it'll be before they notice.

[Because of course he's not just going to call up and let them know he's leaving. He's made a hobby out of being irritating at work, so why stop now?]

It was a weekly thing, my radio show, so I'll take guesses at one week, two weeks, three, and so on. Winner, I'll buy a drink; whatever you like. Unless you're a kid or something, I dunno; then I'll buy you a lolly. I'd suggest getting your bets in before Sir Robot makes headway on his surely-doomed plan to destroy the porter and fucks everything up for a bit. Shanah fucking Tovah.

Comments

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Yeah, stupid as shit as well. Whoever it was takes themselves way too seriously.

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[devoutish]

And well worth poking a bit of fun at, wouldn't you say?

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Oh, I did. I think whoever posted it is gonna murder me in the near future, but whatever. If I turn up dead then whoever did it was the anon.

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[devoutish]

That's assuming the culprit is found, eh?

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Believe me, they would be.

[presumably in crobat's guano when it was done eating 'em.]

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[devoutish]

Is it the police you've got faith in, or the heroes? Or your friends?

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[h2no]

I have a giant bat whose speciality is hunting down people.

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[devoutish]

But what if the bat doesn't know who did it? If it's not a witness to the crime?

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

His sense of smell is how he hunts, so he could do something about that.

[archie shrugs.]

Guess I'd come back either way.

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[devoutish]

And your killer would only get a month of probation. Funny fucking world, innit.

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Shit. Yeah.

Well... uh, if ya want to go for a drink or anythin' about that loss, let me know, yeah? I know it sucks when someone leaves.

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[devoutish]

It's not so much that, honestly. He's got a wife at home; I'm happy he's gone back to her. But there go my own holiday plans, eh?

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Ah-- that's good.

I'm sure there's other people you could hang out with...

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[devoutish]

Sure, yeah, I'll still attend the services and all of that.

And I'm not turning down that drink. Tonight?

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Sure. Any preference for place?

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[devoutish]

Mm - have you got a vehicle? A car?

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

...The bat.

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[devoutish]

Fucking hell, no, I'm not riding on a bat. We'll go to one of the imPort cities, then. Anywhere but Maurtia Falls; I've been everywhere here already.

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Oh! For you, too... uh, no, but I can pay for a cab.

[he makes a face, though alfie can't see it.]

Yeah, I don't like it either.

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[devoutish]

I like it fine, but I'm in the mood for something new, that's all.

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Ah...

[he doesn't press. archie is generally kind of scared of the falls because of all the thunderstorms. OH BOY TRAUMA IS FUN.]

Got it. De Chima?

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[devoutish]

De Chima it is. Have you got a place in mind?

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

Wish You Were Beer? They're a chain. Pretty good prices.

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[devoutish]

That's a fucking awful pun.

[His lips twitch, holding back a smile.]

Yeah, all right. Eight o'clock?

Re: audio; private

[h2no]

S'why I love it. See ya then!