💣 011 | audio

[devoutish]

[These days, when Alfie gets on the network to make a post - not just a comment, but a full post - it's generally because he's at least a little bit drunk. Today is no exception. He's also even more grumbly and mumbly than usual, and that combined with his thick accent means he's also probably even harder to understand than normal, so apologies for that, world.]

Twelve months I've been here, now; that's edging toward outlier status, isn't it? Mm, yeah. I've seen people come, I've seen people go, I've made a call to invite someone over for dinner during the holidays only to find out they've fucking vanished into thin air overnight.

[Pour one out for Dr. Eldarov. He grunts, irritably, and then abruptly changes the subject.]

Right - but I've decided to quit my job. Yeah, that's gonna be my gift to myself for my one-year anniversary, and for the new year; my people's new year. And as such, I'll be taking bets on how long it'll be before they notice.

[Because of course he's not just going to call up and let them know he's leaving. He's made a hobby out of being irritating at work, so why stop now?]

It was a weekly thing, my radio show, so I'll take guesses at one week, two weeks, three, and so on. Winner, I'll buy a drink; whatever you like. Unless you're a kid or something, I dunno; then I'll buy you a lolly. I'd suggest getting your bets in before Sir Robot makes headway on his surely-doomed plan to destroy the porter and fucks everything up for a bit. Shanah fucking Tovah.

Comments

[devoutish]

Living in the 1920s, or coming here?

[h2no]

Hmm... whichever is easiest to talk about?

[devoutish]

Home, then.

[He likes talking about home better.]

London's a very large city. Huge. My little neighborhood alone is nearly the size of Maurtia Falls. It's called Camden Town, and it borders the canal. Good place to run a business from.

[h2no]

Ah-- did you go along on the London trip a couple months back?

[archie remembers camden as a station there.]

[devoutish]

No. It's not that I wasn't curious, but...

[He trails off. Something about going to see what would become of his city, his neighborhood, left a bad taste in his mouth. He's resisted doing too much Googling, too.]

[h2no]

... but it ain't right seein' it the way it is. Yeah, I get it.

[he can't really get over seeing a world map and not recognising it.]

[devoutish]

My neighborhood isn't my neighborhood anymore, I do know that much. Some sort of arts district now.

[h2no]

...'Least it's not a crack den? There's somethin' left in it.

[devoutish]

I'm a gangster, back home.

[He's never told Archie that before, at least not directly, but it's not really a big secret.]

There might be less crime there in this day and age.

[h2no]

Hey, same. Kinda. Not really anymore but I was.

[though... a kid's canon gang leader so like the worst he did was steal stuff.]

We can hope, right? Though if ya wanna be cynnical, the technology and powers probably doesn't help on that front.

[devoutish]

Oh, certainly not. Not in general, no.

[ But Camden Town might be cleaned up. ]

Tell me about what your gang was like.

[h2no]

Our little gang of fun ended in almost destroying the world, let's leave it at that.

What sorta stuff did you do?

[devoutish]

I'm the head of the biggest Jewish gang in the city. We do stuff at racetracks, mostly. Working out the bets.

[h2no]

Uh... racetracks?

[archie doubts they're rapidash races, and he doesn't actually know what that sort of thing entails in a different world like this.]

What kind of-- like humans racing?

[devoutish]

Horseracing. People make bets on who's gonna win.

[h2no]

Oh! Right. Horses are... a thing.

We have that back home but... a different kind of horse. How did your gang come into it?

[devoutish]

How did we get started? Oh, I don't know the details; that was before my time. But it's lucrative. Most men like a good betting game, eh?

[h2no]

Have ya considered doing it here? Maybe it would be like a nice taste'a home.

[devoutish]

[A little smile flits across his face.]

What makes you think I'm not already?

[h2no]

Ha! That's the shit I like to hear!

[alfie being a crime? what does archie care, the guy's having fun. he can't imagine race fixing being something that hurts a lot of people anyway.]

[devoutish]

Is that so? Even though you've sworn off crime yourself?

[h2no]

Pssh... ain't nothin' wrong with that kinda shit. It's not like you're tryin' to...

Y'know. End the world.

[devoutish]

Yeah. If I were in your boat, I might just swear off crime myself, mate. How in hell did you nearly end the world?

[h2no]

Ehh... tried to wake up a god to control it, god woke up and weren't havin' none of it and couldn't be controlled.

[he shrugs.]

I guess being completely batshit at the time didn't help.

[devoutish]

[He nods, understanding.]

You bit off more than you could chew, then. That's what it comes down to.