005 | video 🍻 two hot messes for the price of one

[hardedged]

[ As the video feed starts, there's some quick, unstable shaking of the camera, panning around the room to reveal a dimly lit dive bar. After a moment, it finally focuses on two intoxicated women making the healthiest of life choices — Sarah Manning and Jessica Jones. They certainly didn't arrive here together, but after a drinking contest gone wrong, they're inseparable now. ]

Shit. [ Jess mumbles, her gaze barely focusing on the camera. ] Sobriety sucks. So does this dump. Stuck here for a goddamn year, and you dumbasses still can't find a way out.

And—and what's with all the complacency? [ Sarah points to the camera and, presumably, whoever is watching on the other end. ] Everybody's so bloody happy here.

Like morons. [ Wake up, sheeple. Jess stops her ranting, only for a moment, to take yet another swig of hard liquor. Apparently, she hasn't consumed enough. ] Jesus Christ.

My sister... [ Sarah laughs, but it's a kind of disbelieving laugh, and then she takes a swig of her own drink. ] My sister got married. To someone from another universe. Married.

The hell? [ Her brow furrows, matching Sarah's incredulous expression. If she was slightly less wasted, Jessica would be able to process this revelation better. ] Sarissa?

No, Cosima. [ She sighs and tips back her drink, draining the rest of it. ] Sarissa's got enough shit going on even without adding a wedding.

[ Oh right. God, there are so many clones, she can't keep track anymore. ] Yeah well, don't we all. [ Brushing off the subject, and the hidden layers of guilt and self-loathing beneath it, Jess leans back in her seat. She lifts her almost empty glass in a mock toast. ] Getting hitched here's a death sentence. Congrats to the happy couple.

Yeah, cheers. [ Sarah refills her glass before sloshing a little toast back towards Jess, then towards the camera. ] And cheers to all of you. It's not gonna last.

[ Amen to that. ] Never fucking does. [ Jess drains the rest of her glass in an instant, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. With one more angry glare at the camera, she reaches out to turn the device off. What a good idea this clearly was. ]

Comments

video;

[divaricate]

[Wanda has had her positive emotions shut off for over two weeks now, so this kind of post is right about where her mood is too.]

Pretty fucking much. This place is The Worst, and happiness in it is Really Overrated. If I had a glass right now I would cynically cheers to that with you two but I don't, so, have my verbal agreement instead and have two more glasses each for me. At least two. Maybe five. Great now I want some damn beer.

[hardedged]

[ hell yeah, wanda. time to start a grumpy girl gang. ]

On it.

[ jess dryly replies, hand reaching for her replenished glass. without another word, she takes a swig. cheers. ]

video;

[coppelganger]

I can do at least three more.

[ She says, finishing off her current drink. ]

action;

[coppelganger]

[ That felt good. Oh, they'll almost definitely regret this tomorrow, but tonight, Sarah feels great about her choices. ]

Y'know, I almost got suckered into therapy last month, but this feels way better.

[hardedged]

[ unfortunately, so does jess. for now, at least. in response, she scoffs sharply. ]

Who needs a goddamn shrink when you have this?

[ she lifts her glass, refilled with cheap bourbon, for emphasis. ]

[coppelganger]

You got me there.

[hardedged]

[ jess brings the drink to her lips, taking a long sip before placing it back down. ]

God.

[ the liquor burns her throat, but it doesn't truly help. nothing does, even if she'd prefer to pretend otherwise. ]

video; private to sarah (although obvs Jess is RIGHT THERE so)

[magnitudes]

Saroula.

( Her voice is steady and clear; she manages to avoid sharpness. Almost a year to the day that she found out she wasn't a clone, wasn't one of them, a time when she was going to try and push herself into being upbeat and not wallow, and Sarah's being a shit.

For good reasons, mind, but still a shit. )

I'd suggest zippin' it before you say some shit to Cosima, or anyone else, that causes some irreparable fuckin' damage. What's goin' on?

[coppelganger]

Oh, bloody hell.

[ There's a private video from Sarissa popping up, just on time. ]

I knew this would happen.

[divaricate]

[yes please, best gang ok.]

You are the true MVP here for taking on this task in my stead. If you ever need extra drinking buddies I'll submit my application.

[divaricate]

That sounds like a fair compromise between two and five, honestly.

[hardedged]

[ she tilts her head, glancing over at the message. her nose wrinkles in disdain once she catches a glimpse of the other woman. ]

Shit. [ the very last person jessica wants to dwell on right now. still, even in her current state, she retains enough common sense to realize what she should do. standing up, she wobbles a bit. ] Talk to her. I gotta pee, anyway.

[coppelganger]

[ When Sarah responds, Jessica is conspicuously absent from the table. ]Cosima—I mean, Sarissa— [ shit ] Nothing, just having a few drinks.

[ Yep, just a few. ]

[magnitudes]

Right.

( Sort of slow, dragged out: riiight. )

What's up? I mean— Particular reason why you're shitting all over Tiger? And me?

( The and me sounds more like an afterthought, because it is. Cosima took the brunt of this. )

[hardedged]

I don't do buddies.

[ she makes a face. it's a pointed remark, but with her current state of inebriation, the sharp edge isn't quite there. ]

[divaricate]

well. more like. a loose application of the word. but that seemed like getting into too many semantics.

[coppelganger]

I'm not shitting on you.

[ Like, not hardly. Cosima, maybe, sure. ]

Video

[drivesadesk]

Well, some of us aren't trying to get back because every time we end up going back, everything gets worse, and the humans don't trust us because we're reptilian and the reptilians don't trust us because we betrayed the mission to save a human, so we're just going to enjoy our time here until we inevitably get sent back to deal with whatever's happening next.

[magnitudes]

A little bit. To Jess.

( And the whole network, but she's hoping Sarah maybe can deduce why Sarissa isn't thrilled about being shittalked to Jessica Jones of all people. )

You okay?

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah doesn't think too much of it, and waves in a gesture of acknowledgement as Jess heads off toward the bathrooms. ]

[hardedged]

[ there are so many words in that response. so. many. words. ]

What?

video.

[oddbod]

[Oh, what an absolute joy. Sarah and... Sarissa's ex (?), being polite and civil and respecting the hell out of their friends and neighbors. Clara isn't angry - it takes a bit more to really rile her up - but she's certainly irritated, and a bit disappointed. She'd thought they were on good terms.]

Glad to know how you really feel.

[morethan084]

[Y i k e s.]

Did you guys mean to turn on video?

[drivesadesk]

What? It's a common scenario.

[No, it's not.]

[hardedged]

[ jess squints into the camera, trying to process whether she recognizes clara. she doesn't believe so. time to make a good first impression. ]

Who the hell are you?

[ #nailedit ]