005 | video 🍻 two hot messes for the price of one

[hardedged]

[ As the video feed starts, there's some quick, unstable shaking of the camera, panning around the room to reveal a dimly lit dive bar. After a moment, it finally focuses on two intoxicated women making the healthiest of life choices — Sarah Manning and Jessica Jones. They certainly didn't arrive here together, but after a drinking contest gone wrong, they're inseparable now. ]

Shit. [ Jess mumbles, her gaze barely focusing on the camera. ] Sobriety sucks. So does this dump. Stuck here for a goddamn year, and you dumbasses still can't find a way out.

And—and what's with all the complacency? [ Sarah points to the camera and, presumably, whoever is watching on the other end. ] Everybody's so bloody happy here.

Like morons. [ Wake up, sheeple. Jess stops her ranting, only for a moment, to take yet another swig of hard liquor. Apparently, she hasn't consumed enough. ] Jesus Christ.

My sister... [ Sarah laughs, but it's a kind of disbelieving laugh, and then she takes a swig of her own drink. ] My sister got married. To someone from another universe. Married.

The hell? [ Her brow furrows, matching Sarah's incredulous expression. If she was slightly less wasted, Jessica would be able to process this revelation better. ] Sarissa?

No, Cosima. [ She sighs and tips back her drink, draining the rest of it. ] Sarissa's got enough shit going on even without adding a wedding.

[ Oh right. God, there are so many clones, she can't keep track anymore. ] Yeah well, don't we all. [ Brushing off the subject, and the hidden layers of guilt and self-loathing beneath it, Jess leans back in her seat. She lifts her almost empty glass in a mock toast. ] Getting hitched here's a death sentence. Congrats to the happy couple.

Yeah, cheers. [ Sarah refills her glass before sloshing a little toast back towards Jess, then towards the camera. ] And cheers to all of you. It's not gonna last.

[ Amen to that. ] Never fucking does. [ Jess drains the rest of her glass in an instant, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. With one more angry glare at the camera, she reaches out to turn the device off. What a good idea this clearly was. ]

Comments

video;

[divaricate]

[Wanda has had her positive emotions shut off for over two weeks now, so this kind of post is right about where her mood is too.]

Pretty fucking much. This place is The Worst, and happiness in it is Really Overrated. If I had a glass right now I would cynically cheers to that with you two but I don't, so, have my verbal agreement instead and have two more glasses each for me. At least two. Maybe five. Great now I want some damn beer.

[hardedged]

[ hell yeah, wanda. time to start a grumpy girl gang. ]

On it.

[ jess dryly replies, hand reaching for her replenished glass. without another word, she takes a swig. cheers. ]

video;

[coppelganger]

I can do at least three more.

[ She says, finishing off her current drink. ]

action;

[coppelganger]

[ That felt good. Oh, they'll almost definitely regret this tomorrow, but tonight, Sarah feels great about her choices. ]

Y'know, I almost got suckered into therapy last month, but this feels way better.

[hardedged]

[ unfortunately, so does jess. for now, at least. in response, she scoffs sharply. ]

Who needs a goddamn shrink when you have this?

[ she lifts her glass, refilled with cheap bourbon, for emphasis. ]

video; private to sarah (although obvs Jess is RIGHT THERE so)

[magnitudes]

Saroula.

( Her voice is steady and clear; she manages to avoid sharpness. Almost a year to the day that she found out she wasn't a clone, wasn't one of them, a time when she was going to try and push herself into being upbeat and not wallow, and Sarah's being a shit.

For good reasons, mind, but still a shit. )

I'd suggest zippin' it before you say some shit to Cosima, or anyone else, that causes some irreparable fuckin' damage. What's goin' on?

[coppelganger]

[ When Sarah responds, Jessica is conspicuously absent from the table. ]Cosima—I mean, Sarissa— [ shit ] Nothing, just having a few drinks.

[ Yep, just a few. ]

Video

[drivesadesk]

Well, some of us aren't trying to get back because every time we end up going back, everything gets worse, and the humans don't trust us because we're reptilian and the reptilians don't trust us because we betrayed the mission to save a human, so we're just going to enjoy our time here until we inevitably get sent back to deal with whatever's happening next.

[hardedged]

[ there are so many words in that response. so. many. words. ]

What?

video;

[coppelganger]

Oh, mate.

[ She leans in close to the camera, like they're two friends sharing a secret. Except she's plastered, so she doesn't lower her voice at all. Oops. ]

I know all about shit getting worse every time you go back. All about it. But you know what? Pretending isn't gonna make it go away.

video.

[ohshutup]

[Oh, what an absolute joy. Sarah and... Sarissa's ex (?), being polite and civil and respecting the hell out of their friends and neighbors. Clara isn't angry - it takes a bit more to really rile her up - but she's certainly irritated, and a bit disappointed. She'd thought they were on good terms.]

Glad to know how you really feel.

[hardedged]

[ jess squints into the camera, trying to process whether she recognizes clara. she doesn't believe so. time to make a good first impression. ]

Who the hell are you?

[ #nailedit ]

video;

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah might have looked more contrite if she weren't so drunk. As it is, she gives Clara a kind of bitter half smile and throws up her hands as if to imply she had nothing to do with this shitshow of a network post. ]

No offense.

[morethan084]

[Y i k e s.]

Did you guys mean to turn on video?

[hardedged]

[ jess just snorts in response, staring at her with a pointed look. of course she did. duh. ]

[coppelganger]

Course we did!

[video]

[cigarbribery]

[Wow, this is cheery.]

Thanks for the reminder. [There's a distinct sour note in his voice, as if he really didn't want to be reminded that he's stuck here for the foreseeable future. Maybe longer than that.] Congrats to your sister, by the way. [He really hopes she doesn't see this.

He sighs.]

Do you guys have room for one more?

[hardedged]

[ you're welcome, foggy. jessica looks at him, her gaze narrowing. ]

Nope.

voice;

[infomodder]

I didn't realize there were enough of us who married here to have any sort of data about what that can do to imPorts.

[he's actually curious if there are tons of people getting married and he just didn't notice]

[hardedged]

Half of marriages end in divorce. [ a cold, casual shrug. ] Throw in the crazy shit you find here, and you up that percentage.

video;

[heisenbitch]

[ Shit, it hurts every time he sees Jessica's face. Jesse can't ignore watching someone who looks so much like Jane openly destroy herself with booze, though. So, without judgement: ]

Need a ride home when you're done?

[ That's directed at Jane Jessica more than the other chick, though the offer can extend to the other chick, too, if need be. Least he can do, after how much Jessica helped him, is offer the same. Make sure she gets home safe. ]

[hardedged]

[ jess pauses, glancing at the camera with a grimace — one of the first traces of sincere emotion she's expressed all night. with a slow exhale, she brushes a hand through her hair. ]

I'm fine.

video

[am_i_a_monster]

I wouldn't say happy to be here, but it's better than the alternative. Going back is the death sentence for a lot of us.

[hardedged]

[ oh, damn. she recognizes you. her expression softens a bit in contemplation. ]

Including you?

VIDEO.

[arsiento]

[ Squints. What the hell... ]

What's it matter if other people wanna be happy? [ With a shrug; he's not defending it, he's just indifferent. ] Sure it don't do them no good, but how we feel about it don't change nothing about this place, either.

Been a year for both of you?

[hardedged]

[ "what the hell" is right. ]

One of us.

video;

[heckblazer]

Speaking from personal experience, investigating why the universe is a mess of hot bollocks goes slightly better when you're not shitfaced. Even one day a week of sobriety can do wonders. [ Takes one to know one, of course. ]

[hardedged]

Shit. [ aka — "it's you again." ] Shut up.

[khajidont]

If you're not okay with broadcasting something while you're sober, you shouldn't be broadcasting it drunk either. Especially not when it has to do with family.

For some people, getting married isn't a death sentence. It's a new beginning. Especially if they're actually dead back home.

[hardedged]

Thanks for that, Oprah.

[doubleblind]

Thanks for the congrats. Really appreciate it.

[She's trying really had to not look hurt by their words, but everyone knows Cosima is not a good actress.]

[hardedged]

[ jess should probably feel bad right about now. if only she had a soul. ]

You're welcome.

[ under normal (more sober) circumstances, she would feel worse. unfortunately, the cheap booze distorts her perception. more than usual. ]

video;

[wouldificould]

[ Trish licks her lips before starting in. ]

Well, this is sufficiently depressing.

[hardedged]

[ shit. shit. shit. ]

Shit. [ a deep, tired sigh. ] Not now, Trish.