005 | video 🍻 two hot messes for the price of one

[hardedged]

[ As the video feed starts, there's some quick, unstable shaking of the camera, panning around the room to reveal a dimly lit dive bar. After a moment, it finally focuses on two intoxicated women making the healthiest of life choices — Sarah Manning and Jessica Jones. They certainly didn't arrive here together, but after a drinking contest gone wrong, they're inseparable now. ]

Shit. [ Jess mumbles, her gaze barely focusing on the camera. ] Sobriety sucks. So does this dump. Stuck here for a goddamn year, and you dumbasses still can't find a way out.

And—and what's with all the complacency? [ Sarah points to the camera and, presumably, whoever is watching on the other end. ] Everybody's so bloody happy here.

Like morons. [ Wake up, sheeple. Jess stops her ranting, only for a moment, to take yet another swig of hard liquor. Apparently, she hasn't consumed enough. ] Jesus Christ.

My sister... [ Sarah laughs, but it's a kind of disbelieving laugh, and then she takes a swig of her own drink. ] My sister got married. To someone from another universe. Married.

The hell? [ Her brow furrows, matching Sarah's incredulous expression. If she was slightly less wasted, Jessica would be able to process this revelation better. ] Sarissa?

No, Cosima. [ She sighs and tips back her drink, draining the rest of it. ] Sarissa's got enough shit going on even without adding a wedding.

[ Oh right. God, there are so many clones, she can't keep track anymore. ] Yeah well, don't we all. [ Brushing off the subject, and the hidden layers of guilt and self-loathing beneath it, Jess leans back in her seat. She lifts her almost empty glass in a mock toast. ] Getting hitched here's a death sentence. Congrats to the happy couple.

Yeah, cheers. [ Sarah refills her glass before sloshing a little toast back towards Jess, then towards the camera. ] And cheers to all of you. It's not gonna last.

[ Amen to that. ] Never fucking does. [ Jess drains the rest of her glass in an instant, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. With one more angry glare at the camera, she reaches out to turn the device off. What a good idea this clearly was. ]

Comments

[cigarbribery]

Do I have to be a cop to ask questions now? Because the pay's worse than mine. [He's exaggerating, he barely gets paid at all. At least cops have a steady salary.] And I wouldn't care, usually, except now it's completely public and I am morbidly fascinated.

[hardedged]

God, and I thought Hogarth was a pain in the ass.

[ she mutters, more to herself than to him, before rolling her eyes. time for another drink — gulp, gulp, gulp. ]

[cigarbribery]

[Oh, she knows Hogarth! Cool. Foggy's suddenly 50% more invested in this conversation.]

We generally are, yeah. [He's much less likely to get tangled up in a love triangle that ends in murder, at least?] You still haven't answered my question, by the way.

[hardedged]

[ she huffs an annoyed breath. ]

Wasn't my idea.

[ or maybe it was. she can't exactly recall at the moment. whatever. ]

[cigarbribery]

But you apparently supported the idea, or we wouldn't be here right now talking about this. [Foggy shakes his head, a little. He's judging them both a little bit right now.] Do you at least have a ride lined up?

[hardedged]

Don't worry, mom. I've got it covered.

[cigarbribery]

[He shakes his head, actually huffs out a little, disbelieving laugh. Jesus Christ, he's turning into his mom.]

See, you're not completely fucked up yet if you managed to score a ride. [A pause.] Maybe mostly fucked up, fine. But most people just drunk-dial their friends if they want to drunkenly yell at them, you know, not rant about it on the Internet.

[hardedged]

[ well, she was lying, but if it'll shut him up, she won't complain. ]

I don't have friends.

[ that was meant to sound a lot less pathetic, whoops. though technically it's another lie. she does have one friend here — trish. however, she doesn't deserve to listen to this bullshit. in her right mind, jess would never post this on the network anyway, but well, booze can be a bitch. ]

[cigarbribery]

So who's that you're drinking with, someone you just ran into? [He does not believe her.]