video; spooky halloween psa

[restingstitchface]

[Crane's staring into the camera with an intensity that doesn't dwell well under his skin. Though the clean suit he wears does a good job of hiding it well, nothing can conceal the irritation he feels under it. He clasps his hands together under the table then rests them imperiously on his desk.]

Why do you celebrate Halloween?

I'm just curious.

[He kicks back against his chair and plonks his feet on the wood. Whatever he was irritated by - rather, what he was disregarding - seems to have taken on better shape. He feels it draped over his face, coarse but warm and intimately familiar. It takes most of his energy to play a weak smile for the gallery.]

Don't worry about tainted candy, by the way. Razer bladed taffy apples? Lye-coated bubblegum? Cyanide-laced Pixy Stixs? They're just legends. Informal whisperings of unsubstantiated reports of contaminated sweets picked up in the course of trick-or-treating. Now, for clarification; I don't intend to claim poisonings never happen. A father laced his own son's candy with cyanide in order to reap the benefits of his life insurance, yes, but it certainly isn't a problem. As a matter of fact, the absence of personal stories highlights that clearly.

[He scratches under his chin.]

Here, of course, the bogeyman isn't even cyanide or toxic chocolate - though Hershey's deserves labelling as poison, honestly - but collective fear of a different sort.

[That's a topic he isn't acknowledging right now. He has every intention of discussing it with the class, but carries on.]

Has anyone here been poisoned by Halloween candy? I doubt it. And if you're scared of the possibility? Well, take it from an expert, October 31st is the most extraordinary day of the year you can be terrified of. You'll never experience another one like it till the next cycles round. So dare yourselves and do something special - be bold, knock on some doors when the day arrives. Eat some candy and-

[He tips his chin.]

Enjoy yourselves.

Comments

[restingstitchface]

Dr. Crane.

And I'm not trying to tell you anything. When it comes to personal preferences they're simply that. Personal - and private.

[hellrisen02]

[A long, considering pause.]



[(He can't see the shrug, but it's there.)

Mmkay, Doc.

Guess which one I am.

[restingstitchface]

You prefer trickery.

Eggs, I'd say. That or toilet paper.

[hellrisen02]

Guilty as charged! Guess you're not a headdoc for nuthin', huh.

Though I like to think I'm a little more creative than mere toilet paper.

[restingstitchface]

Eggs and flour, then. There are a number of incidents that can be created from those two ingredients alone. Or you can just tell friends you ate all the candy.

[Not that he cares.]

[hellrisen02]

Oh, you seen those videos? The ones with the parents making their kids cry the night after Halloween.

That seems like your kinda thing. Social experiment and all, of a sort.

[restingstitchface]

Oh. Right. A social experiment. It couldn't be that I was warning children about paying attention to urban legends and encouraging them to enjoy themselves. That would be ridiculous.

[hellrisen02]

It would be!

But seriously, check this out. No commentary on the inhumanity or otherwise?

[restingstitchface]

No. Most of those children exhibit behavior that makes me more concerned for the parents, honestly.

[The children themselves will survive. He did. Now he's going to go and eat all the Halloween candy at work. Fuck the man.]

[hellrisen02]

Aw man, you're gonna go into the psycho-analysis of the issues behind laughing at kids crying over their candy?

Man, why am I even surprised. Debbie-downer.

[Do it, Crane. Eat your way through Bruce Wayne's candy budget.]

[restingstitchface]

Yes, well, a lecture wouldn't be necessary if they just paid attention to their children in the first instance.

You can hardly blame me for that.

[hellrisen02]

I guess that's true, but if they're the kinda folks to steal their kids' candy for fun, maybe that's too much to ask.

[(He's self aware, here, at least.)]

[restingstitchface]

You suppose so?

[hellrisen02]

I suppose I suppose so!