🌊 Matt 🌊 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
h2bro) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2017-10-04 11:28 am
h2bro) wrote in maskormenace2017-10-04 11:28 am
video. shaaaarks
[ hey, this is matt! he's 7ft tall, about 95% muscle and he's CURRENTLY WRESTLING A SHARK.
the feed opens up on this bigass man screaming and laughing at the top of his lungs while his pet shark squirms in his arms and gnashes its sharp sharp sharp sharp teeth in the air. matt and sharpedo are in the middle of his house in heropa, and the video shows matt staggering around with this neckless shark in some kind of headlock, both of them just banging into tables and couches and knocking everything over. things are breaking at an alarming rate. sharpedo is roaring and gnawing at his arm, matt is laughing and letting it happen, all scuffed and bruised and scraped and a little bloodied. he looks up at the camera, sharpedo grunting and snuffling over everything he's about to say, and he flashes a grin. ]
Yo!! I'm Matt. I like strong, interesting and funny people, so that's why I'm doin' a strong, interesting and funny introduction!!! [ he squeezes sharpedo, who boofs like a dog. ] Thinkin' about meetin' so many bros like that is HEATING ME UP INSIDE. Any of you wanna wrestle or go for a swim or fight or battle or CHALLENGE ME TO A SWEET, SWEET FLEX-OFF?! Any of you bros wanna learn how to LIFT LIKE A BEAST, BRO?! 'Cause I gotcha covered. I gotcha covered for ALL OF IT.
[ sharpedo writhes out of his grip and matt watches him flop onto the floor. he laughs. dumb li'l guy. he loves him so much. matt returns him to his pokeball. pokemon are great. ]
the feed opens up on this bigass man screaming and laughing at the top of his lungs while his pet shark squirms in his arms and gnashes its sharp sharp sharp sharp teeth in the air. matt and sharpedo are in the middle of his house in heropa, and the video shows matt staggering around with this neckless shark in some kind of headlock, both of them just banging into tables and couches and knocking everything over. things are breaking at an alarming rate. sharpedo is roaring and gnawing at his arm, matt is laughing and letting it happen, all scuffed and bruised and scraped and a little bloodied. he looks up at the camera, sharpedo grunting and snuffling over everything he's about to say, and he flashes a grin. ]
Yo!! I'm Matt. I like strong, interesting and funny people, so that's why I'm doin' a strong, interesting and funny introduction!!! [ he squeezes sharpedo, who boofs like a dog. ] Thinkin' about meetin' so many bros like that is HEATING ME UP INSIDE. Any of you wanna wrestle or go for a swim or fight or battle or CHALLENGE ME TO A SWEET, SWEET FLEX-OFF?! Any of you bros wanna learn how to LIFT LIKE A BEAST, BRO?! 'Cause I gotcha covered. I gotcha covered for ALL OF IT.
[ sharpedo writhes out of his grip and matt watches him flop onto the floor. he laughs. dumb li'l guy. he loves him so much. matt returns him to his pokeball. pokemon are great. ]
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[archie does not sound confident at all.]
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I-- I gotta go.
[click.]