TEXT: Help Wanted

[pummelgranite]

Seeking imPort assistance for event security. Roles various, but include basic crowd-control, ticket-taking, 1:1 chaperoning upon quest need.

An assortment of talents are sought but in particular sought qualifications include:

• Super Strength
• Power nullification
• Whatever counts as "crowd control" in video games
• A soothing disposition
• Being sane, but sane-sane, not "sane" in a way that makes you think costumed vigilantism is a good idea
• high resistance to mental torture or magic in general
• Actual experience in event security?

The ideal candidates thinks there's no such thing as gods and that I'm full of shit, but is miraculously able to keep their fucking mouth shut about it for 40$ an hour

Comments

text;

[reexamined]

Is "a soothing disposition" a requirement?

text;

[pummelgranite]

It is not.

[khaleesipls]

I am the ideal candidate.

[pummelgranite]

And yet that's your opener.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh, Jorah is applying?

I can vouch for him.

[ Text ]

[axeboyfriend]

I have super strength, am sane, not particularly susceptible to magic. Don't really think you're full of shit about the god thing, though. That a deal-breaker?

perma-text

[pummelgranite]

Not necessarily, but I do need staff that can hold their shit together while I sing. Ever been to one of my shows?

[dazain]

what sort of event is this, exactly?

[pummelgranite]

completely awesome
also a transcendent communion with the queen of hell

text

[fehus]

this is a good list for the buddy squad. as someone who ate shit recently, i would have appreciated all of these qualities in my crowd control.

[or like. crowd control at all]

Re: text

[pummelgranite]

stop calling it the buddy squad

[Text]

[generalgrievous]

The position interests me.

Re: [Text]

[pummelgranite]

phrasing
been to one of my shows yet, big guy?

[ text ]

[ghoulking]

You will have some issues on that "sane" part. [ so many people think costumed vigilantism is a good idea, it makes you wonder ]

[pummelgranite]

good help is always hard to come by
how about you? are you a nice, sane young person

text

[knaval]

kinda
nope
again kinda but only when im huge
hahahah no
jeez no
uhhh probably
no

hire me

Re: text

[pummelgranite]

nuh uh
next?

TEXT.

[specialise]

I was trusted with a gun back home, got given some bionic shit I can supposedly do with my body here, and I broke out of being mind controlled by an articifial intelligence. Good enough?

[pummelgranite]

To have an interview? Sure, why not. When can you get to Maurtia?

text;

[legionnaires]

How do you apply?

I don't have super strength, but I'm handy with a knife. I went to military school if that helps.

Re: text;

[pummelgranite]

Didn't I hire you like an entire year ago?
Where the fuck have you been.

text;

[redhott]

what if I always keep the earplugs in thru the whole concert?

[ He wishes he could be more help when it comes to protecting Pseph and anyone joining her concert, but Kyle is affected like many of the others. In fact, it might freak some people out to watch him change into a stereotypical representation of the devil himself. ]

text;

[pummelgranite]

You already always keep earplugs in.

text;

[fridgeflower]

I can emit calming pheromones over a pretty wide area, up to and including induction of sleep, if you're looking to quiet a riot. Or several.

text;

[pummelgranite]

No shit?
And you're free evenings and weekends?

[text - alias tanith ponta]

[kestreldawn]

i can shape shift and have a high resistance to torture of most kinds. also have a long history of direct combat experience in all types of warfare, so can be of assistance in case things go badly.

[pummelgranite]

Cryptic yet promising.

[devoutish]

You know that I've got the experience down. I'm one of the men John Constantine brought on, if you remember.

[Though admittedly, most of these qualifications don't fit Alfie - he has no superstrength or power nullification, and absolutely no resistance to magic.]

[pummelgranite]

Solomons! Shit yeah, you're in for sure.

John's role has uh. Evolved. We should talk. Want a drink?

text;

[rosegroomed]

I'm physically capable of restraining most of the general population. I'm sane. I have experience organizing and managing events. However, all of that being said, I am humble enough to admit I am not soothing.

[pummelgranite]

That one's not a hard requirement. Neither is the sanity.

But "physically capable of restraining most of the general population" isn't exactly security experience.

[picksthenames]

[ Cisco takes offense to the whole "costumed vigilantism = insanity" portion of the list, but otherwise he does find a reason to reply. ]

ive developed power nullification tech before, back home.

[pummelgranite]

Can you make it work here? We've been looking for options besides the government-supplied shit.