maskormenace | THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2017

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THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2017

THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2017The serial murders of the past week have seemed to have died down -- no pun intended.
Nevertheless, citizens are once again reevaluating potential imPort involvement, and the inherent risk assessment that must be done during trying times.
Don't be too surprised if your neighbors give you a raised eyebrow or two in passing. In the meanwhile, there's a mayoral matter for Maurtia Falls around the corner -- stay tuned.

STATE OF MIND
As read on the political insider's blog STATE OF DISUNION:
CAPE CANAVERAL DOWNSIZING? It sounds almost unthinkable, given the routine influx of imPorts who immigrate in through the colloquially named "Porter", but an unnamed Washington insider source has anonymously leaked that certain members of Congress have been in unpublicized talks over that very matter.

"The idea is the bottom line. American citizens have suffered funds intended for education, health services be redirected for the exclusive use of imPort security."

No details were given on what that resource redirection might entail. The source also claimed that other ideas were in discussion, namely: reclaiming Heropa as a native citizen zone and allowing imPort Ambassadors more economic control of their respective cities. This reporter was not able to reach Senator Mitchell Hundred for his insight on these so-called discussion.

PORT-O-PARTY
As seen in adverts at imPort city bus stops and newspapers:
Are you an imPort? Do you have loved ones here? Do you fear the random cruelty of EXPORTATION, being ripped away from all your multi-dimensional friends and family?

We might have something to ease your mind a little.

Settle your WILL AND TESTAMENT with FENIX LAW FIRMS. Sign up for our one-time-fee Legendary imPort Package, which includes:

- The delivery of a farewell letter to ten (10) beloved imPorts
- Option of a funeral dirge to be sung
- Accurate distribution of your worldly goods and items, as you have willed explicitly in contract
- Floral delivery
- Service animal rental

ADS TAKE EFFORT
As seen in local ads near your televison:
EFFOS! Buy some EFFOS! Waffles shaped like a FIST and a MIDDLE FINGER sticking up like a RINGER! Effos! Eat them with "effoection"!

EFFOS!

BAELICIOUS
As read in the Maurtia Falls newspapers:
On October 10th, many of the schools around Maurtia Falls had a field trip to the Maurtia Falls Memorial Library. There, current Ambassador and Mayor Hopeful Petyr Baelish and his team (both human staff and mockingbirds alike) handed out school supplies to those in need. Students were then invited to take part in a special virtual reality simulation. The task was to create their ideal Maurtia Falls. Class members would work collaboratively in order to build their own versions, which could then be downloaded and viewed on the school's website.

The end results were astonishing. While some held fantastical elements such as waterfalls of chocolate or candy houses, an overwhelming majority simply wanted a safer place to live -- from more updated and lively housing to friendlier citizens to a vastly increased number of imPorts.

Ambassador Baelish commented: "The sheer number of students who simply wanted to change their own homes and family situations was both astronomical and heartbreaking. These are children. Their ideal place to live should be one of imagination and wonder. They shouldn't have to wish for a normal life because they should already have one. This is the generation I am fighting for in all that I do for the city -- so that they may have a better future."

BANKSY HEIST
As seen as a side story in local papers and republished in imPort-focused blogs:
Two young men turned themselves in to police in Nonah last week, confessing to participating in a wave of anti-imPort vandalism in August. Lucas Mitchell and Jonathan Burns, angry over imPort-related violence this summer after a night of drinking, ransacked an imPort-owned shop in Maurtia Falls before fleeing to Nonah. "We're sorry, and we'll give whatever we have to so we can make this right," Mitchell said in front of cameras, his voice trembling as he read from a statement. The owner of the shop has had their name withheld for privacy reasons, but has accepted their offer of compensation and restitution.

The shadowy imPort criminal organization 'Constellation' has released a statement claiming credit for tracking down the two vandals and convincing them to apologize and confess. "While the government wastes time with empty talk of forgiveness, the Constellation acts to bring justice," the statement reads. "We hunted down these criminals and convinced them to repent. All enemies can expect the same fate if they continue to target imPorts."

DEFENDING HIS THRONE
As seen on the major Maurtia Falls News Networks:
Mayor Tony Cardelli of Maurtia Falls held a press conference on the 18th where he addressed some concerns about a variety of anti-imPort sentiments cropping up across the city.

"We cannot change the fact that imPorts are here in this world. And we cannot change that they are a part of Maurtia Falls. Closing certain businesses to them, leaving unwelcoming signs and posters across the city, and spreading messages of hate isn't going to accomplish anything. I, for one, think we need to accept them. But if I could influence people to behave the way I want them to, I suppose there would be no more crime in the city, would there? So instead, I encourage imPorts themselves to come out and prove themselves. I encourage imPorts to act out of kindness for our citizens and toward each other. These citizens see you as a threat, so it's up to you to prove how nonthreatening you can be.

If I am reelected as your mayor, I promise this term to work more closely with our imPorts and create a stronger relationship. And I hope that my example will pave the way toward further acceptance within this city."

Mayoral Elections for Maurtia Falls will be held November 14th. Polls open at 9am and close at 9pm.

YOUTH UPRISING
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs:
This month’s episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths guest stars Utena, Tina, and Futaba on the topic of imPort youth engagement. The Count prompts discussion by asking his young guests how they think youth can get involved in issues of concern.

Futaba's contribution is marked by a "I'll try not to get too technical". She focuses on how young people should seek out opportunities to get involved in internships, or volunteer with their local campaigns--as well as participating in open forums like town halls. This isn't usually her deal, but someone has obviously talked her into a bit of an excited frenzy. She highlights how governments and people in power can encourage them not to get involved by presenting logical fallacies that play into their hands. Her point is that involvement starts with being educated on what exactly is going on and what rights they have to participate in the government. She ends on the note that imPorts are lacking in equal representation, and that while they have some rights there may still be some they have to argue and fight for--and they can't rely on the adults to do all the work.

This is far from Tina’s area of expertise, but she tries anyway. She feels like involvement is important, but it’s also important to not bite off more than you can chew, and to start small if you’re unsure. Getting to know the Ambassador of her town, Maurtia Falls, helped, and doing whatever she could to help after the damage done by the clone plot- in her case, by cooking meals for cleanup volunteers- helped her feel like she was contributing to society. Tina feels like imPort youth involvement doesn’t have to be huge in scale. Helping a friend or housemate can be valuable in its own way, especially if your powers don’t lend themselves to doing heroics.

Utena mostly agrees with the other girls, but she also mentions something another friend brought up: making connections with the natives. "Native or imPort, we’re all in this together, and it’s important to show the public that we’re people, too," she says.

With that lovely quote, the Count closes the episode by thanking his guests and encouraging concerned listeners to take action by organizing, speaking out in the media or Network, and lobbying their elected imPort Ambassadors.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from FALU to OPTIMISM PRIME.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

RE: FENIX LAW FIRMS

Only farewell letters and funeral dirges?
I want a grave site.

Okay but what happens when someone gets a grave site and then gets ported back. Do they have to give the grave back? Do they get a new grave site every time they get ported out? Will we all end up with a little row of gravestones?

I hadn't thought about that. Having to give the grave back. I think technically, it's the same as purchasing an amount of land, but it's yours forever. Maybe sometimes I'll just visit my own grave, and feel sorry for myself.

You're also incorrect for assuming it will be a small gravestone. I'm going to have a statue of myself erected if it's the last thing I do here, Poe. At least this way, it'll be a crime if it's defiled in any manner.

Only if I'm allowed to come with you and weep at your grave and feel sorry for yourself. Why does it need to be the last thing you do? Why not make it the first thing you do, and equip it with lasers.

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