video. forward-dated to the 18th.

[looseleaves]

[ Hajime clicks the feed on late afternoon--his voice is hushed, and it looks like he hasn't slept in a few days. The slight bedhead seems to contrast this, but he manages a little, tired smile at first before it falls, and he adopts a more contemplative expression. ]

I'm sorry to bother everyone like this... but something popped in my head and I couldn't chase it away, after everything that's happened.

[ He curls up a little closer to himself, shifting the camera--looks like he's hugging a pillow to his chest. ]

Being homesick is, um, expected... of course? Everyone wants to be back. Ah--or, most people, I think, want to be back... I do too. It's a little weird to think about, but I don't think I'm missing someone, or something, but it's a bit like... missing a feeling?

[ He ducks his head into his pillow for a brief moment, his voice coming out muffled. ]

I'm sorry! That doesn't sound right at all, does it? I think I'm missing the feeling of being... safe, back home? But that might be because my world is normal... there's nothing special about it at all, no powers or abilities or monsters or wars. So everything's a shock.

So I meant to ask... do you feel more safe here? Or home?

Comments

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

I feel safer here. But I've also lived here for three years and it has frown on me. [ plus he has people he cares for ]

I think it's natural to be overwhelmed by all of this. I'm sorry it's a bit rough.

[ Video ]

[looseleaves]

[ He relaxes instantly upon seeing Kaneki, shoulders slumping. ]

I'm sorry I haven't visited the cafe lately... [ He's been kinda. Catatonic the last few days. After his apology he lowers his eyes. ]

Mm, I'll get used to it, I think? How long did it take for you...?

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

You don't have to apologize. Things have been a bit crazy of late. [ VERY crazy ] Are you alright?

Hm- I can't say I'm a good example. [ because he was sent back and forth by the Porter ] But having friends here helped a lot.

video;

[lempereur]

[ haaaaay Hajime. Yusuke will greet him with a smile, poor thing. Getting used to it is hard, he gets it. ]

My original world is less dangerous, at least on a regular basis. That is why I would rather stay here.

video;

[looseleaves]

[ He's putting on his best smile for Yusuke because good god having shared that memory and then going catatonic the next few days was nothing short of horrendously embarrassing and he kind of wants to let himself get swallowed up by the Earth right now. ]

Ah, so... it's more like you're feeling a sense of adventure?

video;

[lempereur]

I am not looking for danger for danger's sake, but it is something that I am well equipped to handle. I feel that I can do more good here than I can back in Tokyo.

video;

[reexamined]

I am "safer" here.

video;

[looseleaves]

[ ... the question he wants to ask is very rude, so he won't, but he does blink once or twice at the feed before answering, voice a little softer. ]

Really...? Does it make you sad at all?

[reexamined]

Why would I be sad, if I'm now in a place I consider safer?

text;

[blacktemper]

[for all his talk with his partner about not being afraid of people knowing his name and the like...well, it was more practical to keep his face and voice off the network for a while. besides, it was this dumbass kid again. he didn't deserve that kind of thing to begin with.]

safety has nothing to do with your environment
its about how capable you are

text;

[looseleaves]

[ Ouch.

... why does this feel like deja vu? ]

Some of us can't help how capable we are, though...
I'm sure a lot of people have learned to be more capable at home and now are even more capable here because of it.
So you feel safe anywhere you go?

[blacktemper]

[it must be a coincidence. clearly.]

of course
its something you learn
not something thats handed to you

Video

[beautiful_monster]

[Yuri is streaming from one of the local parks. He's looking a little tousled; probably on a break from his daily after-school training, and he's already scowling at the camera.]

You look like shit. And obviously home is safer. You have to come from somewhere seriously messed up to feel like you're safer here.

Video

[looseleaves]

[ He manages an actual smile at Yuri, despite what he says at first. ]

That's a little mean, Yuri-san... I don't think I've slept very much at all, but thank you for taking care of me.

Mm, I imagine that some of the imPorts here... might've come from places like that. I've seen them talk about genocide, and wars... at least when I was around, we didn't have that happening on Earth. It'd feel safer here if that was the case. If you were born in a time like that, during one of the wars... wouldn't you feel safer here, too?

[beautiful_monster]

I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you.

[He'd warned Hajime that he was definitely a bad guy!! Insults are proof.]

I think even in a war time I'd have felt safer at home. I'd have exemption from the draft since I'm a star athlete. I'm worth more to Russia on the ice than on a battlefield.

Plus there have never been ghosts of ancient armies or dinosaurs attacking anything at home.

video;

[fridgeflower]

I think a lot of people here come from dangerous situations or places, which... I mean, you probably guessed that, since you're asking the question. It'd definitely be an interesting thing to get the stats and stories on.

I've been safer here, overall.

video;

[looseleaves]

[ A moment, before he starts. ]

Aaah, I was supposed to ask everyone what countries and worlds they came from, too... I suppose this is kind of like the question, but maybe I'll ask later...

I don't know if I should say I'm sorry or not... do you still miss home?

video;

[fridgeflower]

I've gotten enough sorries to last me the rest of my life. It's cool.

I miss the people that made home what it was. The places themselves aren't important.

[am_i_a_monster]

I've never felt completely safe. I feel safer here.

The scariest thing about being here is the constant threat of being sent back there.

[looseleaves]

[ Ah... he lowers his head, curling into himself a little more. He can't imagine it... ]

Not even with your family? How long have you been here...?

[am_i_a_monster]

Especially not with my family. I've been here over a year now.

video

[khajidont]

I think that's a pretty normal way to feel, if you're from a place that's normal. Or, I guess... what should be normal. None of this should be happening to anyone here.

Having troubles adjusting, huh?

video

[looseleaves]

It's still a little hard to wrap my head around all the different kinds of worlds... the kinds of worlds I've only seen in films or games or manga all are real, here. Mm, it's not entirely bad, I'm still excited... but... I don't like feeling like I'm the damsel in distress. [ And he has been. Several times... ] Ah, I'm sorry... I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining?

video.

[whitefox]

[Kurama was certain of one thing; if safety wasn't a complete illusion, it was unquestionably temporary in nature. It didn't matter where one found themselves, a threat to their well-being existed in one form or another. Whether psychological or physical, the presence of danger instilled in almost all living organisms a desire to reproduce or evolve. It was the threat that gave birth to life.

But that was the harsh answer, and one not at all suited to someone who seemed as gentle as Hajime. So Kurama smiled when he addressed the other boy, the sort of expression that didn't so much as hint at an unpleasant thought.]

I feel safer where I come from.

[Not because the Japan of his world, or even the Makai, is safer, but because at the very least Kurama knows the threats that exist there and how to combat most of them. This world is full of too many unknown variables and the unknown is the greatest threat of all...]

Do you think that doing things that are familiar to you might help, Shino-san?

video.

[looseleaves]

[ Hajime returns Kurama's smile with no limit to warmth, even if his eyes are tired. ] Mm, I'm not sure... I know what I'd do if I were homesick, but this kind of feeling is a strange one. I'm not sure if doing what I'm used to would help or hurt... because there's a sense of 'ah, this is what I'm used to, but this world is so different it might not mean anything'...? [ His eyes close as he curls a little closer into himself. ] I'm sorry, that's a bit depressing, isn't it?