text; username: warlock

[secondscythe]

what's your relationship with your parent(s) if you got them?

do you wish they were here with you if they aren't?
or are you glad they're not?

and if you're a parent
at what point do you trust your kid enough to tell them things
even if those things are not so pretty and they've seen way more than they already should?

or do you think there's things they don't need to know
even if they just want to help you?

Comments

text; un: specter-1

[kanyounot]

I know nothing about where I came from before I was brought to the Jedi Temple as an infant. Never knew my parents.

I don't have any biological children, but I've had some experience dealing with teenagers. And as far as teenagers go, it's usually not a good idea to keep things from them. You want to protect them, it's your job to protect them, but that's not the same thing. In fact, in some cases it can make things more dangerous to keep them in the dark. You have to be honest and straightforward. Teenagers are almost adults, and sometimes they have to make their own mistakes.

[secondscythe]

sorry to hear that, yo.

that's what i think.
but parents or even adults in general
seem to do it anyway.
it's usually because they want to "protect them"
like you said.
but ain't it also hurtin them too?

[kanyounot]

There's no need to apologize. You can't miss something you never had. I had a good childhood - food, shelter, education, lots of kids my own age to learn and train with. It's just how things worked.

Anyway, keeping things. Admittedly, sometimes you have to. We had a contact for a while, only went by a codename. Their real identity was need-to-know, so only my partner knew it. One of the kids, Sabine - she didn't like not knowing. Perfectly normal reaction to have, but it was safer that way, if only one of us knew. You just have to be honest and able to explain your reasoning.

But I can't blame people who want to protect their kids. When you love someone, you want to shield them. Keep them safe and happy and thinking the world is decent. But those of us who are responsible for the upbringing of kids, well. It's also our job to teach them realities. Sometimes we don't like it, sometimes they don't like it. But it's necessary.

[secondscythe]

then how come they don't do that?
why do they seem to like leavin them in the dark or like
just try and drop it or do the whole cause i said so thing?
it's hard to think it has anythin to do with love when
some parents or adults just ditch their kids.
feels more like they didn't want the responsibility.

[kanyounot]

I don't know. But think of it this way: parents are people. They're as prone to making mistakes as anyone else. As you, even. I've made lots of mistakes with my kids. There wasn't an instruction manual.

[secondscythe]

aren't they supposed to know better though?
or does that just not apply in the grand scheme of parentin and adultin?

[kanyounot]

"Know better" than what? How do you expect us to "know better"?

Again, I don't know how it is with actual parents. I haven't been through any of that. My kids sort of... showed up without my planning for them. I had to learn as I went.

[secondscythe]

you're older and experienced more.
isn't that the usual excuse they give?

[kanyounot]

I have no idea. Is it? I mean, I know more about being a Jedi than my apprentice, sure, that's why I'm the Master and he's the Padawan. I think that's different, but maybe not that much different. We DO have more knowledge and experience, but that doesn't mean we'll be good at sharing it in a way that works.

[secondscythe]

[ A Jedi... oh... isn't he that kind of person- thing? that Grievous guy warned him about? Well. ]

master and padawan?
sounds kind of controllin doesn't it?

[kanyounot]

Not really. Even if I wanted to, I could never control Ezra. I'm just a teacher.

[secondscythe]

let me guess
they're real stubborn, right?

[kanyounot]

I think most teenagers are.

[secondscythe]

you ain't gonna say you remember the
days when you were, are you?

[kanyounot]

I mean, I can if you want me to? I was more chatty than stubborn though. I couldn't stop asking questions.

[secondscythe]

isn't it good to ask questions though?
guess not so much when you get no answers.

[kanyounot]

My questions were always answered. Even the weird ones.

[secondscythe]

what's an example of
a weird question?

[kanyounot]

All right I feel like this is a pretty normal question for kids to ask but in context it was pretty weird because I asked it to Master Yoda, who was - is? - was, a tiny little wrinkly green old guy with grey hairs sticking out of his ears who talked funny.

I asked him where babies came from. I was about six, and there were maybe fifteen other younglings in the room.

[secondscythe]

you asked a little green man
where babies come from?
what did he say?

[kanyounot]

He said, and I quote, "a biological function, that is," and then told me to go talk to the librarian if I wanted to learn more.

[secondscythe]

do you still think
it's just a biological function?
the whole process i mean.

[kanyounot]

He wasn't wrong? He just omitted the emotional stuff, because, well. The Jedi didn't really go in for that.

[secondscythe]

didn't go in for what?
you mean like
it's just
a thing?
one night stands and all?

[kanyounot]

That was all against the rules.