maskormenace | ¹ˢᵗ | ⱽⁱᵈᵉᵒ

[ This video turns on to a desk. It's pretty much clear of any papers, knick-knacks, and anything else that remotely resembles being used. Next to the desk is the subject -- older, balding, he slumped slightly on screen. ]

Oh, there we go. Hello.

[ An awkward wave. He sits behind the desk. ]

I'm... new here? [ He waved a hand, clearly confused. ] I'm not really sure why, considering... there are far better candidates than me. I'm just a professor, but -- [ He cut off, and shrugged. ]

No accounting for bad taste, I suppose. They couldn't even give me a useful superpower. Something about "perfect mythological recollection", but apparently that only works for my world. [ A scoff. ] Which is my field of study, so... [ Another wave of his hand. ] Useless.

Regardless, I suppose it's up to me to make the best of a bad situation. There are people from other worlds here, right?

This is going to sound odd, but I'm really curious. What's your, ah, local myhologies like? [ A shrug. ] If I'm going to be here for a while, I may as well learn what I can. [ A hesitant smile. ] It will at least satisfy my curiosity.

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[Blake's desk might be clear and free, but Han's taxi is the exact opposite: the interior is shabby, with oddly-colored patches on the seats where Han might've sewn up holes where the stuffing peeked through, and more than one strange stain that no one wants to know anything about. Also, a Millennium Falcon charm hangs off the rear view mirror like a pair of lucky dice.

He gives the guy a lazy wave.]

There's a lot of local mythologies where I'm from, depending on the planet. The one you'll probably hear a lot about here's the Jedi, though—they believe in something called the Force. Bit hard to explain what that one is, though.

[ He grins. Man, he is a child of the fuckin seventies. ]

Oh, excellent, I know a little bit about that one. Not a lot, but... enough to get by. Are you one of those "Jedi"?

[ He knows he isn't, but. Just to be an asshole. ]

[For like a week one time because of memory shenanigans.]

Oh, good, I don't have to explain about it. And, kriff, no. I just happen to know a few of them around, 's'all. At least one of them owes me a few thousand credits.

So you're the adjunct to the story -- the human to their gods, if you will.

So, do you know the stories? I know of them, but I'm hardly an expert. [ And getting more data from a non-jedi is so much safer than say, Kylo Ren. ]

Don't tell them that. [Utterly dryly, but good-natured. Gods, hah.] Or I'm never gonna hear the end of it from them.

Some stories. Even lived a few myself. Get me a drink, and I'm sure some of them might come back up. [Like the time with the Screaming Citadel.] But if you want, I dunno, Jedi lore or something, you're outta luck with me. Most of them were dead by my time. You'd have better luck, asking after that fossil Ben Kenobi.

[A beat.] Hell, he ain't so old now, though.

Oh, I'm quite happy to exchange information for alcohol. Maybe you can bring your friend -- you said it was Ben? -- along?

[ His tone is bland, but there's a slight uptick to his lips. Come on, he knows all this. It's fucking great. ]

Or just you, if he isn't the indulging type.

Wouldn't call Kenobi a friend, exactly. [Seventeen thousand credits, buddy.] But yeah, I'll see if I can't dig him up. And probably Luke, too.

[A corner of Han's mouth turns upward, in a lopsided little smirk.]

Lucky for you, I'm the indulging type. Where do you wanna meet? I'll see if I can't bring someone along.

Oh! That's... Very generous of you. I'll have to write down questions so I can be prepared.

[ A pause, then. ] I think you may need to recommend a place to meet, though. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this place. I'm in a town called Heropa. Perhaps a bar? Someplace quiet?

I'll warn 'em to watch out for that.

[A little chuckle.] I'm in Heropa too—and lucky for you, I know all the best places. You want someplace quiet? [And he gives the address and name of some shitty little hole in the wall somewhere in Heropa, where the drinks keep going as long as the money does.]

Quiet is perfect, actually.

[ Aw Han. Trying to take care of the poor old professor. ]

Later this evening? Or would you prefer a different day?

[han u idiot]

It's not like I've got anything to do later tonight, but lemme see about Luke and Kenobi. Might be they've got a free day. [Wait, does he even know Kenobi's number? Whatever. He'll ask Luke instead.]

Excellent. I'll look forward to hearing about it.

Maybe I'll write a book, about import deities and mythologies while I'm here.

¹ˢᵗ | ⱽⁱᵈᵉᵒ

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