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gentrify) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2018-01-28 10:16 pm
gentrify) wrote in maskormenace2018-01-28 10:16 pm
[video] a valentines themed promotional video (brought to you by the shameless cast)
[ Greetings, friends. Remember when Mickey said he was selling guns? Yeah, he's still doing that, but now, with a building and less so out of the trunk of his car, PLUS one (1) actual employee. So here he is, in said building, walls behind him lined with weaponry and sundries. ]
You wanna know what really says "I love you and I give a shit if you get capped on some sketchy gangland corner of Maurtia Falls" for Valentine's Day?
[ wait for iiiiit ]
A gun.
[ Or knife, or machete, or sword. They've started carrying some swords too, because they know some of you are ancient fucks and can't handle the idea of catching up to the rest of the world, so there should be some wall in the background with gear more that speed (the speed of a horse drawn carriage). Anyway, back to his sales pitch. ]
Yeah, I know you're all superheros and shit, but some of you fuckin' suck at it, and some of you got the crap end of it with bullshit powers like, I dunno, talking to squirrels or some Disney princess crap. Is a fucking squirrel gonna keep your girlfriend, boyfriend, side piece, whatever from getting mugged? Hell no. [ This place is ridiculous and he hates it. ] Point is, we got Valentine's Day sales going on over here at Southside M&G Armory, so come by and pick up a piece at discount prices.
[ Mickey's about half way through giving the address for the shop (somewhere in Heropa, handwave, la de da), when the distinct hiss of a spray can coming from somewhere off to the side draws his attention, both his attention and the camera of his phone turning in it's direction. There stands: Carl Gallagher, at the sales counter, spray painting a shotgun pastel pink, with a couple others in red and white and purple lying nearby. It's seasonal, ok? ]
Goddamnit, Gallagher, I told you to do that outside, dumbshit! Do your brain cell murder huffing on your own time, away from my merchan--
[ aaand the video cuts. apparently this ad is over. ]
You wanna know what really says "I love you and I give a shit if you get capped on some sketchy gangland corner of Maurtia Falls" for Valentine's Day?
[ wait for iiiiit ]
A gun.
[ Or knife, or machete, or sword. They've started carrying some swords too, because they know some of you are ancient fucks and can't handle the idea of catching up to the rest of the world, so there should be some wall in the background with gear more that speed (the speed of a horse drawn carriage). Anyway, back to his sales pitch. ]
Yeah, I know you're all superheros and shit, but some of you fuckin' suck at it, and some of you got the crap end of it with bullshit powers like, I dunno, talking to squirrels or some Disney princess crap. Is a fucking squirrel gonna keep your girlfriend, boyfriend, side piece, whatever from getting mugged? Hell no. [ This place is ridiculous and he hates it. ] Point is, we got Valentine's Day sales going on over here at Southside M&G Armory, so come by and pick up a piece at discount prices.
[ Mickey's about half way through giving the address for the shop (somewhere in Heropa, handwave, la de da), when the distinct hiss of a spray can coming from somewhere off to the side draws his attention, both his attention and the camera of his phone turning in it's direction. There stands: Carl Gallagher, at the sales counter, spray painting a shotgun pastel pink, with a couple others in red and white and purple lying nearby. It's seasonal, ok? ]
Goddamnit, Gallagher, I told you to do that outside, dumbshit! Do your brain cell murder huffing on your own time, away from my merchan--
[ aaand the video cuts. apparently this ad is over. ]
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