first ♋ voice ♋ backdated to shortly after arrival.

[crab]

You know what's fun? Exploding. That's a lot of fun. Watching your arm fly about ten feet and smack the guy who blew you up in the face is probably everyone's universal visualization when told to imagine a good time. Sarcasm aside though, that was pretty awesome. Call it karmic retribution.

What's also my idea of an enjoyable activity is missing an undetermined amount of time as a result of the aforementioned exploding, before finding yourself resurrected by an unfamiliar Porter, in an unfamiliar city, in an unfamiliar universe, with little to no idea of what went down the last couple of days before we were all apparently rescued? I love being ignorant, you know, it is almost to the point of fetishization. This broadcast could get pretty obscene if I'm left in the dark much longer.

I more or less get the situation here, before you start rehashing it, but I want to know what I missed while I was out. What happened to you guys?

Comments

voice ».

[nitidus]

Lachesis happened, I believe. I have to say, I preferred my first Apocalypse to this one.

voice ».

[crab]

At least that one had the saving grace of being a game and providing some vague parody of entertainment from time to time.

voice ».

[nitidus]

Don't forget the break-up's. Or the honking.

voice ».

[crab]

Let's not discuss both of those in the same sentence, I feel nauseated enough as it is without talking about that guy.

voice ».

[nitidus]

Apologies. There aren't many break-up's up for discussion that don't involve him.

voice ».

[crab]

How about we just don't talk about breakups? We've got an entire brand new universe at our disposal for topics of conversation, I'm pretty sure we'll be able to find an alternative. Here, check this shit out:

How are you holding up?

voice ».

[nitidus]

As well as one can, given the circumstances. Starting over again is starting to become an old hat at this point. How about you? Who are you staying with here?

[centurybaby]

Did you seriously get yourself fucking killed?

[crab]

Well, yeah, but it wasn't a huge deal. It just made me miss a bunch of apparently very important shit.

[centurybaby]

Right. Not a huge deal.

Don't make me fucking come over there and quantum-kick you in the shins, Karkat.

[crab]

Come on, Jenny, did you even know I was dead? You can't go getting on my case about it after the fact.

[ Despite the fact that Karkat has done exactly that a thousand times. ]

It's not important. The purpose of this broadcast was gathering information, not having everyone ride my bulge over something I can't do anything about.

[centurybaby]

What, am I supposed to get on your fucking case as you get blown into tiny troll pieces? [ her voice is biting. ] Plenty of people are gonna be super fucking helpful and answer your questions, so I get to ride your bulge over being fucking stupid enough to get blown up.

[crab]

My arm was the only bit that actually detached from the whole, for your information, I didn't get blown to smithereens. And there was a good reason, so you can shut your filthy roe hole before you end up dripping ignorance everywhere.

[culver]

[she can't think about the fact that he died right now]

We were brought here with a porter just like we were in the City. People seemed happy about it.

[crab]

Thank you, Admiral So Obvious If You Were Actually Unaware Of Any Of This You Are Most Likely Suffering Severe Pan Damage. Thank you so much for that. I meant before our convenient rescue.

[culver]

You are welcome.
I am not sure. We found Lachesis and then we sort of moved.
I do not know how to explain it.

[crab]

So, what, she saved us? [ he sounds skeptical. ]

[culver]

I think so.

[crab]

That doesn't sound like her.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Have you found yourself any water yet, at least?

voice;

[crab]

Hahahahaha, oh man, that was hilarious. You're a regular goddamn comedian. You know what else is going to be funny? The fact that next time I go to jump you, gravity won't be able to come to your rescue.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

And why, exactly, would you go out of your way to jump me now?

voice;

[crab]

Because I don't like you. In fact, I happen to loathe you, and punching you in the face would be an exceedingly cathartic activity. Also, you took advantage of me, and you're going to pay.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

I took advantage of you? When -- do you mean when you were confessing your darkest, most painful self-perceptions to me? When I simply offered a professional ear to your symphony of guilt?

voice;

[crab]

Yes, I mean then, when it was painfully obvious to anyone who hasn't been recently subjected to a backyard lobotomy that I wasn't confessing any of that bullshit of my own free will. Anyone could see there were external factors at work! And what did you do? Did you respect my boundaries, or my privacy?

You should know better than to mess with someone from my planet, and I'm going to show you exactly why that is.