[text ; anonymous]

[k31rfree]

I'm uncertain if this post will be in bad taste in light of the Holiday. Or maybe it is best suited for the time, considering that most of our minds are drawn to romantic ideas in spite of ourselves during this particular month.

But I digress, let me ask for your honest advice:

Say you found yourself having unmistakable feelings for someone, but you are well aware that that person does not feel the same for you...

What would you do about this.

Comments

text;

[lempereur]

You should tell them. It is no good having secrets between friends.

Awkwardness can be overcome, lies cannot.

[k31rfree]

You would consider kept feelings a lie? Even if it makes no difference to the other how you feel.

I am unsure knowing would even effect them.

[lempereur]

It happened to me.

My best friend had feelings for me, but I was already taken. I can't say that I wanted to know, then, but I think it was better for her to clear the air. Bottling up your feelings helps no one.

text

[knaval]

stew on it and be lonely forever
love is a joke

[k31rfree]

That is a rather bitter outlook. And not healthy, but I did ask for advice.

This is the direction I have been turning. I wish not to.

[knaval]

yeah well life never works out the way you want it
your crush likes someone else
your friends leave you when you stop being entertaining
everything you do because you think it's right ends up being the wrong thing

[pummelgranite]

Sleep with someone that they like more than they like you.

[k31rfree]

I feel...that this approach would only stir feelings of jealousy and cause a rift in our friendship.

Also, unfortunately, I fear that I would be unsuccessful anyway. Seeing as they are not attracted to my particular sex.

text

[flightforfreedom]

how aware is well aware

[k31rfree]

Well...

In my case, though it seems that we have a deep relationship, they are interested in other people. Finding companionship in others.

No amount of physical or emotional intimacy changes their view of me as a partner or sister. It seems.

[Text] I couldn't resist this

[d33tached]

If you find yourself feeling romantically inclined toward someone who does not return those feelings, then why not simply discard such feelings and leave the would be companion in peace?

It's not as if romance is a necessary component of survival.

Oh boy.

[k31rfree]

[The message causes her to falter.]

It is not a question of survival.

It is desire. It is emotion.

If you have never longed to have someone be by your side then you will have no understanding of what I am experiencing.

[ text ] »

[divaricate]

I have over a year's worth of 'what NOT to do' stories.

So uh.

Instead of all *those* ideas— just get the nicest wine you can find, and the best dark chocolate and eat your feelings and treat yourself to the delicious food. ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔

[ text ] »

[k31rfree]

Healing through food? Interesting. Can good food really have that positive of an effect on a person?

I have yet to really experience the positive uses for wine or alcohol. Maybe this is a time to start.

text

[am_i_a_monster]

I'd never been in a romantic relationship. I did have someone that had strong feelings for me once, not romantic ones, but a strong love that drove him to do bad things.

My advice is to do something to deal with the feelings. Talk to them if you can without damaging your relationship or hurting them. Find a way to make new associations with that person so you don't feel the same way. Or talk to someone else, even a therapist. Get out and do things, meet people, whatever it takes.

Just don't let the feelings build and make you hurt or make you lose your mind.

Re: text

[k31rfree]

This has given me something to mull over. The idea that without a resolution that my heart or mind could be corrupted. It sounds unreasonable.

How would you go about making new associations with someone...When you've only known them as one thing for so long?</font

[text]

[cigarbribery]

The healthy option here would be to open a line of communication to this person and let them know about your feelings, and that you understand if they don't reciprocate.

The option I took when I was in your position was to never talk about it and let it fade in time. And it does, sometimes, to a more manageable level, but I honestly wouldn't recommend it.

Re: [text]

[k31rfree]

That is a sensible idea.

It does give me anxiety to even imagine the worst possible outcome. I would hate to lose them again.

[perfectible]

Yes. But he didn't feel the same way for me.

[k31rfree]

So did you tell him? Or was it something that was obvious.

How are you fairing now? I hope this did not up root painful feelings for you.

private text, sometime after v-day

[littlemissfutility]

go out with other people
HANG out with other people if being around him hurts
it sucks a lot, but if he's not into you then it'll just be harder if you keep holding out hope

if you want we can go out for ice cream sundaes or something
talk about how much boys suck

[private text]

[k31rfree]

[A freshly scorned K31 receives this message a bit of relief in her heart. Someone that she was considering opening up to over her recent emotional drama. Her only hesitation had been her desire to seem strong in front of someone younger than her. She grabs her com, sending Beth a private response from her direct line. No anonymity necessary.]

You're very right in your response. In order to relieve myself of this I need to be more social out of his eye of sight.

[A pause.}

And you're absolutely right, Miss Greene. Boys do 'suck'.

Horrible, manipulative little children.

[text]

[rebelarchivist]

Repress your feelings, pretend they don't exist, and then drink all the wine you can get your hands on. Possibly find someone that looks like them to sleep with in the meantime.

Re: [text]

[k31rfree]

I think, perhaps, that becoming involved with someone who shares their likeness would only frustrate me further.

text; network ID is just a moon emoji 🌙︎

[dragony]

If you know for certain that they don't return your feelings, then that's that. You can't ask someone to change their heart just to suit yours.

As for what I would do, I would put distance between us. I would talk to them less, spend less time with them. Put my attention to other things. Focus my heart on something, anything else. Losing love, it hurts, but keeping a love that will never exist in the way you need, it's much worse.