maskormenace | xenologue 3 || voice

So the day has worn on...and on. And the sky shows no sign of incoming terrors from where I'm standing. Will this be one of those long lapses I've heard tell of?

Whatever was done was enough, friends and imPorts. I'm grateful to those who found a way...

[a beat.

exhale.]

Forgive me. I wish to ask of things touched upon again and again -- much more than the span of days we've just endured. I've already read so much about the past here that I may go cross-eyed to scour any further, and...and there's...something to be said of hearing truths from first-hand sources.

Should you be willing, please tell me: how long did it take you to know for certain your friend or loved one has left-- returned, as it were. What did you do? How many days did it take you to find it in you to be certain?

...How did you know they had forgotten, too? All of this, good and ill. [with an empty laugh in her voice:] There's a lot to be said about fools who believe anything in life is certain, of course, but all the same... A fool like me can at least do her part to ask.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Some days more than others. I've been here coming on two years? Part of me has always been ready, part of me doesn't want to forget anyone here if I ever get back.

I like my life here, but I like my life where I'm from. If that makes sense.

I, I understand, yes. There's much good to be said of this realm-- and the people within. Though I don't know what it feels like to have been ripped from something you were already so comfortable with. Wouldn't...missing that...make things harder here?

To begin with it was incredibly difficult. Especially having to adjust to different technologies and not being in a familiar surrounding. I guess at first it was isolating while also being overstimulating.

I wouldn't say I was exactly comfortable with my world, but I knew it better than this one.

Has it been hard for you? Being here.

It...It's actually been more of a miracle. Like some kind of dream I could've never dreamed up. The technology, certainly, but...to see a world so bustling with life? People, going about their days, families out together...

[a beat.]

For all the disaster I've seen in such a short time here, it...I still find it beautiful here. There's still a future for this world.

It's certainly refreshing to see people living their life with very little worry.

Which porter city do you live in if you don't mind me asking?

[Private]

Are you alright?

Maurtia Falls, ma'am, I--

[huh? private? and--

...oh.]

...

[gods. this is a bit embarrassing.] ...Am I truly so transparent?

[Oh dear, she really didn't mean to make this awkward or anything.]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spring that on you or step over any boundaries. I just got worried with your responses and your network post in general.

[in hindsight...making a post about something this sad in public? probably rather pathetic and telling. gods, she needs to think before she does things more often.]

No, it... [sigh.] No, you're very kind to ask. I can't say I'm at my best right now, but...I'll manage. You needn't worry on my account.

[Well it's gotten her a variety of responses to her questions.]

I'm sorry to hear that, it might help to do something you enjoy to take your mind off things, even for a moment. Do you have friends here that you could go to when you feel up to it?

I'm Angela by the way.

[Saying that she doesn't have to worry is difficult to actually listen to when so far she's spent the last six months splitting her time between being worried about people or stressed.]

Yes--many. I'm very blessed in that regard. [spoiled, she could say.] And I know that I need only ask, and many would come running... [the trailing off is a kind of but, implying reluctance.

a beat.]

Lucina. Thank you...for telling me of your experience of these things. It feels more real than simply...reading about it.

Oh good, I'm glad to hear that you have people. [She doesn't press that further. It's really not her place and she's only just started to speak with her.]

Of course. It's a difficult thing to go through, but with time and those friends, it will be easier. Sometimes we can really be our own worst enemy.

[but being fine with this feels like a betrayal in of itself. it's too soon to think about feeling better.]

If only that were so. I may know better how to fight myself than the things this world has to offer. I thought that mention of...cycles of calamity was exaggeration, but it...it really does seem to be paced out that way, doesn't it?

[Some people are fine when people leave and some people are like Angela where you still think about someone from home that left over a year ago.]

It really does. I think that's perhaps one of the most, hm...reliable parts of being here? That there's always something.

[in an exhale:] I'd rather the unexpected, if it meant mitigating prescheduled disasters, myself...

Oh I completely understand that.

[a beat.

self-conscious:] I know any...complaining I do here is more or less preaching to a choir, so it feels silly to do so.

xenologue 3 || voice

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