001 - VIDEO

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[There's the sound of some fumbling with the communicator as someone struggles to get the thing oriented and recording. For a moment, there's a flash of one giant, emerald green eye close up to the lens as the owner inspects the device.]

Is this...is this thing on? Is it recording...? Gods dammit...how the hell...

[More fumbling. Then another voice offscreen can be heard: 'Hey boss, you want me to show you how to--']

No. Look, I got this. Go over there and finish checking the inventory and let me--

[Finally, he manages to get the comm aligned and recording. The blue haired newcomer looks absolutely exasperated.]

Okay, I think I've got it. Anyway, I'm not sure who all can see this? But I'm having some issues here. Now, I, for one, am glad that I was provided employment upon working here. I kinda wish it was more in my field, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, am I right? I've run a shop before. I know business. I know how to sell. I can sell a full set of plate mail to an eighty year old wind mage. My point? I can do this job. Here's the problem:

[Darin tilts his comm to show his store, namely the Thot Topic in Nonah that he has been given management of. The store is in great shape and people are shopping and being helped by the staff. But over by the entrance there stands three seemingly disaffected teens. Two girls and a guy, and they are all taptaptapping away at their phones.]

Can someone explain to me what the hell is happening here? They've been here for hours. They're here every other day, it seems. They don't talk. The best part? Hang on.

[Okay, looks like we're moving now. Darin walks over to the group and not-so-discreetly circles them while holding his comm aloft. Maybe some eagle-eyed viewers might catch one of them texting 'omg, the old blue haired guy is back guys lmao' before Darin walks back to his original position towards the back of the store.]

Did you catch that? Did you? They're sending those messages to each other. They're talking to each other! Through their little devices! Instead of using words! Culture shock my ass, is there a priest or something out there? Because I think these kids are possessed and I do not deal with ghosts. Seriously, if anyone can offer me any insight into what the hell is wrong here, I will give you ten percent off of whatever the hell you want from my store. Hell, make it twenty percent.

Comments

[forgeabettertomorrow]

How can they be enjoying my company when they're not even talking to me?

[patchricide]

I'm not sure, but you said they show up every other day. Right? Why would they do that, if they couldn't stand being near you?

... unless you have something they really want, I suppose.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

What the hell are you even implying?

[patchricide]

No, forget I said anything! I'm sure they're not simply tolerating your presence because you have something they desperately want.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

... ... ...

I can't tell if you're screwing with me.

You're not making any sense.

In fact, you're kinda pissing me off now.

[patchricide]

'Screwing' with you? I'm being completely serious.

I... did have the passing thought that maybe they don't like you after all. If they're annoying you this badly, they could be doing that on purpose? You know. Bothering you until you give them something to go away.

But either way, wouldn't the solution be the same? To welcome them and learn to appreciate their presence.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin eyes this young woman carefully. Even after all of this time, he still doesn't know her name. But something she says seems to pique his attention.]

...Hm.

I get what you're saying. I really should be making more of an effort, huh.

Well, I guess I know where to start.

[patchricide]

[That's sounding like a CONFLICT MEDIATED, all right. Go Allura, you got this job in the bag!]

That's fantastic! ... and where is that, if I might ask?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Well, first, I'm gonna run down the street to that corner grocer. Then I'm gonna buy a dozen eggs.

And then I'm gonna start pitching them with infallible accuracy at those kids until they scram.

See, before I just thought I could chase them out with words.

Now I know I have to go the extra mile and actually put in effort!

[patchricide]

What?! No, that's just being mean! They're not even doing anything wrong!

I meant give them something nice!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I'm spending money out of my own pocket to give them a protein filled snack.

At high velocity.

That's the definition of nice.

[patchricide]

No, that's the definition of a food fight!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Which just also happens to be a fun group activity.

[patchricide]

I mean— well, I suppose it could—

But you're not planning on arming them too, are you? It's not fun if they can't fight back!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

They outnumber me three-to-one. They can get their own ammo.

[patchricide]

... but you aren't planning on giving them any warning, are you.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You're not as dumb as you are annoying, it seems.

[patchricide]

Excuse you?! You're one to talk about being annoying! I'm trying to help you, and you're deliberately twisting my words to make things worse!

[Good... good job Allura... nice mediation, there...]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Are you? Are you really trying to help me? Because from your tone, you made it sound like you wanted to be appreciated for essentially existing, if our prior meeting is anything to go by.

[patchricide]

Yes! I am actually trying to help you! And not just for the sake of appreciation — it is now, in fact, my job to help settle these problems peacefully!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

What do you mean it's 'your job?'

[patchricide]

Exactly what I said! It is my job. I've been assigned to the official position of Conflict Mediator.

Meaning you can rely on me to help you navigate these sticky situations to a peaceful solution for everyone involved.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Huh. Conflict Mediator.

That's actually pretty impressive. You seem really up to the task, actually.

[patchricide]

Oh! Well, thank you! I don't mean to brag, but I do have some experience in this.

Not in your sort of problem, specifically, but — handling some annoying customers can't be that much harder than handling diplomatic affairs, right?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oho...some experience, you say?

That's interesting. Would that also mean that you're up to the task of, say, handling multiple conflicts at once?

On different fronts?