maskormenace | schema 2.001

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schema 2.001 | VIDEO

[ There is a noseless green alien standing in an Aquarium, looking somewhat perturbed. ]

While the streamlining of this process is a vast improvement on the previous universe, the job description I have been given appears to be inaccurate. The name of this place of work is "Otherworldly Aquarium." However.

[ He gestures up at the tank above him, his fingertips glowing, to the sea creatures swimming merrily along.]

The aquatic fauna all appears to be from Earth.

[ A dolphin swims past. ]

See? While it may be visually identical to a Space Dolphin, it is nothing more than a native mammal.

[ Remember. Be polite. Be calm. He lets his face go smooth. ]

Excuse me. I do not wish to be rude. I am merely confused. Should I inform my employer of the misnomer?

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[...]

Begging your pardon, sir. Can you...explain "space dolphin" to me? I'm unfamiliar.

[ Patience. He doesn't respond until after he rolls his eyes. ]

Space Dolphins are a telepathic species capable of surviving in the vastness of space.

[wow, excuse you. rude.]

And you say they've no dissimilar qualities than to those you see here? How are you able to tell the difference at all, then?

[beat.

frown.]

You didn't try to cast one into space, did you?

No, that would be quite outside my current capabilities. [ Don't be ridiculous. It would certainly work very quickly, but he doesn't have a space ship, so, you know. Plan B. ]

As I stated, they're telepathic. I attempted to communicate with it.

[ Said somewhat defensively; he had been laughed at by the other employees. ]

[it takes him a few moments to respond-- he's distracted by the background for a moment.]

Ah-- I think they're meant to simulate a different world, rather than actually bein' one, to hammer in how evolution worked underwater. Ain't nothin' down there that looks anythin' like the animals up here, y'know?

I see...

[interesting. dragons aside, talking animals aren't really a thing for her, so. y'know. weirdo.]

Unfortunately, you may have to lower your expectations. This realm has yet to reach very far to the stars, as I understand it. Though some excursions have taken place, with others no doubt in the works. You may find your telepathic friends yet.

So you're too good for Earth dolphins, huh?

Edited 2018-05-06 04:00 (UTC)

Wait, so there are dolphins in space that look the same as the Earth's Ocean Dolphins? Well. A bottlenose, anyway.

[This boy is a weird lookin' one, too. Itsuki is assuming he must be an alien too, if he's talking about Space Dolphins.]

Do they survive in the vacuum of space, or are they simply native to another planet?

[ He's surprised. That actually sounds like a halfway decent explanation. ]

So the concept is that your own ocean biomes may as well be a different planet?

[ Wow.

Yes, of course he is. ]

I hope your misinterpretation of my words wasn't intentional.

Your first theory was closer. They live in the vacuum of space. I don't have very much data on them beyond that and the fact that they are supposed to communicate telepathically.

How exciting! [A shame the man has no further information on them than that, Itsuki is now VERY curious. How would a creature like that feed? Does it need to breathe at all? Can it propel itself???

He should know these answers himself, being that he could live in the vacuum of space himself. He'd just never tried it.]

I suppose such an environment would be very difficult to recreate on Earth with the current human technology, nevermind recreating it in a way that would be capable of being viewed.

[That sure is another Reach bug.]

Maybe they came here years ago and never left?

[ struck a nerve, did we? She'd mostly just been shitposting, but that's... Interesting. ]

Depends. How intentional was your disrespect for our charismatic megafauna?

Yep! It's kinda to show how everythin' evolved to its current state while living underwater and how life can thrive no matter the atmosphere.

[refer back to.... space... dolphins?]

Edited 2018-05-06 10:39 (UTC)

I think it just makes them feel better about knowing they'll never develop enough to leave this boring planet. If I had a Shanix for every alien or otherworldly thing that's just vaguely different from what already exists here I'd have...

...

A lot of them.

Lachesis seems to be in a nostalgic mood. A number of imPorts are arriving from that universe's history lately. It's not quite 'welcome back,' but welcome.

[ What the fuck. It's been a long time since Ruka's seen this guy—four years by her calendar, with its spotty absences—but the circumstances had been extreme enough to leave a lasting memory.

She doubts recognition goes both ways. Ruka had only been, what, fourteen at the time? Her voice has matured since then, and it's not like she would have been on his radar, right? Well, it's a gamble, but what else is she supposed to do?

She keeps her voice markedly pleasant, moreso than her usual responses, but she refrains from overdoing it. ]

I don't believe I knew you, in that world, but if you need any assistance acclimating to this one, I'd be happy to help. [ :) !!! ]

... As for the name schemes, I suppose you may have to forgive your employers. They would know they're all Earth-based creatures, but they're likely titled that way to appeal to human children.

We gotta space dolphin?! But, aw. It doesn't even have a little helmet on.

What, are you dumb?

The only non-"earth" animals you'll find are with us imPorts.

[Yes, he totally finger quotes Earth's name. It's a dumb name if you ask him.]

Edited 2018-05-07 02:44 (UTC)

Erm -- [ Does he remember??? ]

It's probably just supposed to be clever... Don't ask me how...

[ holy shit it's the one fucking guy who actually likes him. ] Ah! Greetings, Mitchell Hundred.

I believe if it is intended to be clever than it failed in its objective.

[ Rude. ]

Given the sheer amount of planets that are capable of interstellar travel or have received interstellar visitors-- including the previous two Earths I am familiar with -- you may find that the idea that a planet can only host species that originated there isn't as intuitive as you assume.

No, you misunderstand. These are Earth dolphins, seemingly incapable of adornment.

Ah -- I was wondering...

Yes, I'd agree that it's failed. [ A beat. ]

You, er, remember then? Welcome ba -- well, to the new reality.

It always seemed absurd to me that a being as powerful as Lachesis would work on whims, but I have never observed a rationale that worked better.

[ He's cautious. If she didn't know him, then perhaps she doesn't remember a Whole Lot of Bullshit That Went Down. But he'll poke into who she is and who she knows, if he can. In the meantime, it's best to play his cards about what happened close to his chest. ]

I believe you are correct, I do not remember you. I am certain I will adjust quickly, thank you.

The explanation of the name you have already given is logical, to an extent. Wouldn't the children be disappointed to find out the untruth?

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