maskormenace

[Okay, Richie's been doing voiceover acting long enough. It's time to test the waters here. He's got the talent to pull off straight-up video commercials. He's sure of it. The feed begins with an image of a bespectacled teenage boy holding up a tube of Crost® toothpaste with the fakest infomercial-style smile he can muster. It appears he's recording this in a cramped bathroom. He uses his typical flashy commercial voiceover voice to tote the impressiveness of the product he's pitching.]

Bad breath got you down? Feeling uneasy about those unsightly yellow teeth? Try Crost® Plus Whitening™! Our classic minty bacteria-killing toothpaste now helps make your teeth white and sparkling!

[He smiles wider and holds up a toothbrush with his other hand.]

Try some today! You'll love how your teeth look and feel with the tried and true formula of Crost®!

[He smiles a few moments longer before dropping his fake smile and placing his props somewhere off-screen. Time to test the waters. He leans forward into the camera and grins as he anticipates positive responses.]

Okay, everybody. After seeing that fucking awesome pitch, how much more likely are you to try this shit now that you've seen my commercial?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Lot of imPorts working in advertising, it seemed... ]

Not too damn likely, but ya got the salesman voice down pat.

What're they payin' you to hawk this stuff, anyhow?

[He'll be the very best. That no one ever was.

The compliment causes Richie to smirk proudly. Okay, being praised by adults will never get old. He hopes he never has to go back to that trash heap of a town back in Maine. Adults there suck.]

Crost isn't paying me for this, but they should, huh? I just made their shitty product sound like a fucking miracle.

[ Majima cracked a small smile. ]

Well, they're never gonna hire you if ya keep shittalking the goods... but yeah.

You aimin' for an acting career or something?

Something like that. Think I could pull it off?

[How about some encouragement? It's good to have dreams, right?]

Sure, why not? Most people got no idea what they really wanna do till they're a lot older.

The way I see it, you're one step ahead. All you gotta do is put in the work. And maybe find a good agent.

[ And of course, starting early meant Richie had more time to perfect his craft. ]

[Man, adults cheering him on feels amazing. This patch guy is an A+ person in Richie's book now.]

Cool. How do I find an agent that will actually let me fucking branch out?

Assumin' you can talk to one? I'd look for someone who doesn't talk down to ya. You know, someone who takes ya serious.

As for how you'd track one down, ya got me. At my old place, I'd just ask around and eventually someone'd know some agency or other. It's probably the same here, right?

Know any friends in show business?

[Richie flinches and looks away. Eddie's departure is a fresh wound that hasn't started healing yet. It hasn't been easy for him, and he's still having trouble hiding it.]

I used to. The asshole bailed. I guess I could try to find his old agent, but I don't remember who he was or where to find him.

Oh. Sorry.

Bet someone on the network could hook ya up, though. Wasn't there a lady not too long ago who was doing some shampoo commercial?

....dude, I kinda wanna go buy some toothpaste now. And I never wanna go buy toothpaste!

Cool! My job here is done. But really, don't buy their toothpaste. That shit is a rip-off. Buy Aquasparkle instead or something.

Oh. What a bunch of a-holes! [He was all ready to go to the store and get some. This is a BETRAYAL.]

So are you like. On the radio or somethin'?

[ Momo perks up to see someone around her age (if a little younger) also doing commercial work. ]

Oh, have you been hired as a spokesperson as well?

[Whoa. This chick is pretty hot. It throws him off and causes him to stutter a little before replying.]

Er, not yet, but this is my pitch. I'm just in voiceover work so far. Think I have what it takes to take the next step?

I think so! [ a pause... ] As long as you forgo the bit at the end, that is.

What? You mean the part where I dropped character?

[He grins and shrugs.]

Yeah, I can do that. Want to cheer me on from the sidelines while I launch my very successful acting career? You can be one of my first groupies or some shit.

Edited 2018-06-17 21:53 (UTC)

Yes. I think you'll do much better if you maintain a level of sincere professionalism throughout.

[ She looks a little scandalized at the thought of being a "groupie;" despite the fact that she regularly runs around in revealing clothing she does not like the implication of the term. ]

I think... Maybe it would be better if we are professional equals? I have a sponsorship deal of my own.

[...This kid swears a lot. But hey, he's no parent.]

It's not very original.

[What?]

Neither are the shitty commercials I'd have to act out, but you get the picture, right?

Edited 2018-06-11 15:41 (UTC)

Those are the lines they wrote for you?

I just thought it'd be different. We're... in some sort of future, right? I guess it's nice to know some things just don't change.

More or less. I dunno. They say it works and if it works, they pay me, so... I want them to pay me for something different. Something more like real acting or some shit.

You want to get into acting-?

[He seems, unsure...]

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