video - it's marketable. probably. whatever that means.

[knaval]

Hey-ho! [viewers are greeted by a large blue and purple face with yellow optics grinning back at them. there's not much of a background-- looks like he's on the space station, though.] I haven't used this thing in a while, whew. Almost forgot how to. That's a joke for you newcomers, I could literally never forget how to use this thing even if I wanted to.

Anyway, I've been watching loads of those shows where people fight to the death, but, like, not to the death? Those ones where they fall onto a mat instead of a pit of spikes. Kinda disappointing, but you know. I guess gladiatorial combat differs from species to species. Humans just like to whack each other with giant padded q-tips. Who am I to judge? I come from the species that invented grenade tag.

[is anyone really surprised that riptide's making a video that's complaining about something?]

Can I pitch something you all? This moon base has plenty of habsuites and all the toss you'd expect with a peaceful artificial biome but lacks a sport dome in which to have super-powered fights to the not-death in. In zero-g.

[he taps his forehead. it makes a tink noise.]

Just another genius idea from your friendly Riptide. There's no better way to get to know your would-be allies than when they're trying to slap you silly. Might also relieve the tension that comes with negotiating.

--Ah! Also, I've rented a club out in Nonah. My dear, dear, best friend Getaway was Ported out, and I'd like to commemorate-- commiserate his passing by getting absolutely twatted at a club I know he could never afford to go to. We can all get together and hope that he's gone home safely and will be torn apart by the insane religious zealot he hired.

[...]

Won't be torn apart. Froidian slip.

Comments

[queenofseers]

I- holy shit, Riptide. [ You'd think he'd mention some of these things.

She wants to say that she doesn't know why he didn't tell her that, but, for once, stops herself- no wonder he wouldn't. Most of the people in his world are fucking dead. Instead, what comes out of her mouth is: ]

That...explains some things. Christ.

[knaval]

Look at you, slowly unlocking our tragic backstory. Don't worry, it gets worse.

[though he doesn't follow that up with anything horrific.]

You comin' to this booze up or what?

[queenofseers]

Well- now I get why you're cagey about it, fuck. [ She admits it more easily because she's startled, but she's being honest. ]

And, no, I'm good. Anyone going that I know? [ It does seem like the kind of thing much of the Pantheon would enjoy. ]

[knaval]

No. Doesn't that mean you're more likely to come, then?

[he knows you, cass.]

[queenofseers]

[ Wow, he does. Targeted. ]

Maybe sometimes, but it's not my sort of thing anyway. I've got too much shit to do. [ Like staring at books she's reread before for hours. Super productive. ]

[knaval]

...


...



...


It's prepaid.

[queenofseers]

[ She pauses for a solid ten seconds. ]

God, Riptide, don't tempt me. Please?

[knaval]

There's even booths where you can go into and lock the door, and they do wireless orders with the bar so you don't have to get up and go to it.

[queenofseers]

[ Oh, no, her ideal.

But she must work!! ] I'm gonna assume that has some wild tip I can't afford. I really shouldn't.

[knaval]

Again: prepaid.

[HE'S NOT LETTING THIS GO.]

[queenofseers]

[ Riptide why. ]

I'll think about it. How's that sound?

[knaval]

Acceptable. I'll be here a couple days.

[queenofseers]

Fucking hell, Riptide, at least go home and rest at some point. Shower, at least. [ A pause. ] If you...need to do that shit.

[knaval]

I don't need to do either of those.

[he does and he will, but she doesn't need to know that.]

[queenofseers]

[ He can't see her eyeroll, but it is strong. ]

Yeah, of course you don't. Take care of yourself? Or however you need to phrase it.

[knaval]

Wouldn't be here if I didn't. Don't you worry.