01 / VIDEO

[beneathbluerafters]

[The video feed clicks on to show... an extreme close-up of a cat's nose pressing into the screen. The camera jiggles around for a few moments before the view lurches up and away, with an unmistakably annoyed meow being heard in the background. It isn't clear where this is being filmed... it's obviously indoors, but the room is dark, and the curtains are drawn]

Teekl, away from that thing! Give it here, you obstinate beast! Now then, how does this work...?

[The video gradually swims back into focus as Klarion squints into the camera, before finally holding the phone out at arm's length and giving any viewers a polite nod.]

Ah, there we are! Greetings, fellow imPorts... or should I say temporary kidnapping victims. I am called Klarion, and this is Teekl. [The camera swings down to show the cat, a large, impossibly fluffy ginger Maine Coon who looks less than impressed, then moves back to Klarion's face.]

First, I should make two things clear: one, I'm a witch-boy from Limbo Town, not a pilgrim, although I understand that my hometown's fashion sense has certain unmistakable similarities to their clothing. Ill-intended jokes about turkeys or thanks-giving day pageants are not appreciated, and will be met with extreme prejudice. Any jokes about these wretched blue creatures called 'smurfs' shall be met with even more extreme prejudice. Consider this your first and final warning.

Second, where might I find some 'iced cream'? I've heard that it's a delicious remedy to this absurd heat, and I should like to taste it for myself! Especially if it comes in strawberry.

Comments

text.

[projectkr]

[Now that's a semi-familiar face and if that didn't give away - Klarion just announced who he was on the network.]

have you ever thought about changing your clothes to not get those kind of jokes?

video;

[redhairring]

Aww. Cute kitty.

[ and then Freddie makes a kissy noise at Teekl. ]

veeeeeeeeeeery slow text

[beneathbluerafters]

[ Oh dear. Klarion's reply is going to take a ridiculously, ridiculously long time to get through, because he's never actually used a keyboard before, let alone one on such a tiny device. Needless to say, he types slower than a half-blind, 90-year-old grandmother. Why aren't these letters in alphabetical order?! It makes no sense! ]

I wouldn't feel comfortable in anything else. Besides, I shouldn't have to change to appease other people.

[projectkr]

[Note to self: never text Klarion again. Superboy could be across Heropa by the time the reply text comes back.]

youre going to stick out to the natives and they like to catch the attention of imports
sometimes that means crowding them

[beneathbluerafters]

Careful, you'll make his ego swell even further.

[ Teekl gives Freddy a Look, then turns away from the camera to occupy himself with important cat things. ]

[redhairring]

All cats think they're God's gift to man. That's just the way they are.

[beneathbluerafters]

Then they shall soon get an informative lesson on personal space and manners. It's rude to crowd people and stare.

[projectkr]

hope that informative lesson doesnt land you in prison
i hear they have the ability to nullify any ability

[He's lying - he doesn't care if Klarion ends up in jail. Though he does care about the people.]

[beneathbluerafters]

Indeed, they're certainly not lacking in self-confidence! All justified, in Teekl's case.

[beneathbluerafters]

Oh it won't.

[ The second half of the text takes much, much longer to come through. 'The ability to nullify any ability', huh? Considering that Klarion has already had some of his powers severely limited and nullified - like the ability to teleport out of here, for instance - this is worth investigating further. ]

How so? Do you mean the police, or the people responsible for bringing us here?

[projectkr]

[Giving Klarion information? Sure, why not.]

probably both and then some
it doesnt seem to matter what your abilities are

video;

[glitterateur]

He's so cute. [Mabel has to take a moment to coo over Teekl]

Oh! And ice cream definitely comes in strawberry and a ton of other flavors! Like birthday cake and mint chocolate chip and chocolate swirl.

video

[justimom]

Hello, Klarion and Teekl. [There is a small part of Samara this is almost excited to see someone else with a similar shade of skin.

She tilts her head in a mildly curious manner.]

What is a smurf? [She asks because she has received a similar comment.]

text

[runningstart]

what the heck

why are you talking like that

[shutupandgetintheanimus]

[....Riiiiiight. Desmond is just going to focus on what's clearly the most sane thing about this entire video.]

Nice cat.

And it's 'ice cream'. It comes in all sorts of flavors, including strawberry. You've really never heard of it before?

[redhairring]

Her name's Teekl? [ that's a shit name, kid. ]

I've gotta ask, how'd you come up with that?

[beneathbluerafters]

How do they do it? Are you speaking from personal experience?

[beneathbluerafters]

[ Excuse you it is a fine and dignified name thankyouverymuch! ]

I didn't, he did. It was his name to choose.

Re: video;

[beneathbluerafters]

Mint and chocolate chip in the same flavour?!

Re: text

[beneathbluerafters]

[ By Wally's standards, Klarion's reply probably takes about a decade to get through. This is because Klarion types slower than a half-blind geriatric. Have fun! ]

It may seem formal by surface standards, but this is just how I speak. Or type, as the case may be.

Like how you seem strangely averse to punctuation.

[glitterateur]

I know. And it's everything you hope it'll be and more!

[beneathbluerafters]

How is that even possible?

Wait... is it possible to combine separate flavours? Mint chocolate chip and birthday cake, for instance?

[glitterateur]

Yeah! You just ask for one scoop of one flavor and another scoop of another flavor! I can't believe you've never had ice cream before, you've missed out on so much.

Re: video

[beneathbluerafters]

[ Klarion looks just as curious! He hasn't seen any blue folks since the last time he dropped by Limbo Town for a visit. Judging by Samara's hair... head... situation and outfit, she's definitely not from his hometown, but still!]

They're a fictional race of tiny blue creatures who spend their days living in mushrooms and being unspeakably twee. They're horrible.

[beneathbluerafters]

I've heard of it, but never sampled it before. It sounds delectable, from what I've heard.