soldierpuppy[ Hello, world! Everyone, meet Zack, though... you may need to lock your screens and turn them around in order to do so, because someone decided to set the phone upside down. Still, that didn't keep Zack from beaming at the screen, waving enthusiastically. ]
Hey guys, Zack here!
So, this place gave me a job as a fitness trainer, and it seems pretty on brand for me.
[Suddenly, for seemingly no reason, he dipped below the range of the camera, popping back up almost immediately, before dipping back down again. ]
I'm in really good shape, and I'm pretty sure I can get just about anyone doing squats on the regular easy.
[ On the latest pop back up, Zack paused and glanced behind him, just as Sephiroth passed by, unaware of what was going on. ]
Ain't that right, Sephiroth?
[ If crazy powers were not involved in this place, Sephiroth would have pulled his face out of his morning coffee long enough to let out a confused noise as Zack gave him a friendly shoulder jab. Instead, that friendly jab suddenly knocked the legendary SOLDIER completely off his feet, sending him flying out of view of the camera and -- if the subsequent crash and Zack's utter and complete look of horror was any indication -- through a wall. ]
Wha-- that-- Sephiroth?! Oh man, are you okay?! Please tell me I didn't kill you-- AUGH!!
[ Zack stumbled back out of the camera's view, but not before everyone could get a good shot of his spiky, possibly over gelled hair being set on fire. For a moment there's shouting and the sound of running water, before Sephiroth came back into view, brushing plaster dust off his coat. ]
I'm fine. Fix the wall.
[ He paused, glancing over to see the phone was upside down. He rolled his eyes, grabbing it and setting it right side up, leaving the call on long enough so everyone could hear: ]
And no more squats in the house.