✁ 001

[bestsword]

Okay. Public opinion poll because some people don't understand what protocol actually is.

Question one: can you call dibs on a house

[Distantly, in the background:] Yes, but that's not the fucking point!

And question two: do you think it counts when they aren't around for it if you write your damn name on it

[Still distant] No! The whole point of goddamn dibs is that someone is THERE TO HEAR YOU CLAIM IT!

I mean, usually there's the "there is no wrong answer" here but-

There is, and it's yours!

- shut the fuck up, Church - there is TOTALLY a right answer to this and I need to prove I'm right.

Comments

voice;

[rassera]

Sounds like someone's just mad they lost to dibs.

[Honestly, who wouldn't call dibs on something with no one to question it. That's the smartest way to do it!]

voice;

[fuckai]

I DIDN'T LOSE!

[Oh no you brought out the screeching]

voice;

[rassera]

Ahahaha! Only losers say that, pops!


[Oh man, he needed this.]

voice;

[fuckai]

POPS?!

[Ex-fucking-scuse you?]

voice;

[rassera]

[YOU HEARD HIM, OLD-TIMER.]

Ah, sorry, am I supposed to call you Ojiisan?

[You little shit...]

permavoice

[bestsword]

I'm glad someone gets it! Like you'd think the big fucking letters spelling out my name wouldn't mean shit.

[rassera]

Right! It's like graffiti, you don't wait for the other guys to show up to mark your territory.

You just do it!


Poor...What's his name?

[bestsword]

Ex-fucking-actly.

Poor Church.

[rassera]

Poor, poor Church.

You -could- let him stay in your house. If he does things for you.



That'd be nice of you to do, wouldn't it?

[bestsword]

No. Dude, listen you don't understand.

I lived with him and our other teammate alone in a canyon for fucking years. He's not staying with me.

[rassera]

...Why didn't you just leave?


Or make him leave?

Did you call dibs on the canyon?

[bestsword]

................


Holy shit.

[Calling over his shoulder to the ASSHOLE ON HIS COUCH.] CHURCH WHY DIDN'T WE JUST FUCKING CALL DIBS ON THE CANYON.

[fuckai]

[Oh. My. God.]

WHAT THE- TUCKER YOU FUCK, WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL DIBS ON THE CANYON?!

[bestsword]

YOU'RE THE DAMN LEADER, IT WAS YOUR JOB!

1/2

[rassera]

[...]

2/2

[rassera]

AHAHAHAHA!!



[Oh god, you two are great.]

[bestsword]

No, shut up, you don't understand.

You see us, all obviously the superior Blue Team? We've been in a canyon fighting a war with a Red Team over that fucking thing for years and none of us ever thought to call fucking dibs.

[rassera]

So you're in a turf war and you didn't even call your turf?


[Dude 16 year olds get this concept how did you-]

[bestsword]

Our base itself had our team flag, so that counted.

[SHUT UP]

[rassera]

So you marked the base...but not the canyon.






Whatttever. Red's better anyway.

[bestsword]

Mmkay, so you're officially banned from all future correspondence, Red.

[He's only half joking. A year in the desert alone, he doesn't really care that much anymore but it's still fun to mess with it.]

[rassera]

Says the guy who can't call dibs on a canyon!



Blue.

[He has no idea what this means but it sounds like an insult. Yeah. BLUE. STUPIDS.]

[bestsword]

Can't only because I wasn't the acting CO of our team, so [and then distant like he's shouting to someone off camera:] IT WASN'T MY FUCKING FAULT IT NEVER HAPPENED.

[rassera]

What's so important about a boring ass canyon anyway?

It's just dirt.

[fuckai]

[And not distantly at all because he's yelling right into his mic]

ANYONE CAN CALL DIBS!! THAT'S THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF IT!