✁ 001

[bestsword]

Okay. Public opinion poll because some people don't understand what protocol actually is.

Question one: can you call dibs on a house

[Distantly, in the background:] Yes, but that's not the fucking point!

And question two: do you think it counts when they aren't around for it if you write your damn name on it

[Still distant] No! The whole point of goddamn dibs is that someone is THERE TO HEAR YOU CLAIM IT!

I mean, usually there's the "there is no wrong answer" here but-

There is, and it's yours!

- shut the fuck up, Church - there is TOTALLY a right answer to this and I need to prove I'm right.

Comments

voice;

[itistolaugh]

Well, if you wrote your name on it then I think the rules of dibs are pretty clearly in effect.

voice;

[fuckai]

What? No! In order for dibs to stick you have to have a fucking witness! IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE OTHERWISE!

permavoice

[bestsword]

Hey Church, I think I'm gonna listen to the hot sounding chick that agrees with me instead.

Which - thank you, by the way.

video

[abandon_hope]

...

What?

video

[fuckai]

Dibs. The dibs protocol. Calling shit in front of people so everyone knows it belongs to you.

[That helmet turns, just so he can yell at a certain someone: ]

And NOT by writing all over everything in GODDAMN SHARPIE!

permavoice

[bestsword]

I got assigned a house.

I wrote my name on the door frame and some people can't fucking accept they lost dibs.

permavideo;

[ursawhiner]

[Why does that other voice sound so familiar.]

Do you both actually live in the house? Because if not, there's really no point in calling dibs.

permavideo;

[fuckai]

[Familiar voice, though this voice is coming out of cobalt armor instead of... whatever the hell Epsilon uses.]

Yeah, you don't have to actually live somewhere to call dibs on it.

[Aka no. Only one of them lives in this house.]

permavoice

[bestsword]

[Oh no. A kid and he sounds about Junior's age and tHIS IS BAD WHAT DOES HE DO???? HOW DOES HE TALK TO KIDS THAT AREN'T HIS OWN HELLSPAWN.]

No, I'm the one who lives here, he lives in another city.

permavideo;

[worstever]

Technically, the government owns it.

permavideo;

[fuckai]

[wash i swear]

Well I don't see them here defending their claim, so I guess they don't give a shit!

[Your logic isn't welcome here, Agent Washington.]

permavoice

[bestsword]

Too bad those cocksuckers didn't say so before I did.

voice;

[rassera]

Sounds like someone's just mad they lost to dibs.

[Honestly, who wouldn't call dibs on something with no one to question it. That's the smartest way to do it!]

voice;

[fuckai]

I DIDN'T LOSE!

[Oh no you brought out the screeching]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

You gotta dibs when there another person around so that they have the chance to dibs too if they wanna! Dib's gotta be fair.

[bestsword]

[christ another kid what the fuck]

Dude, there are other people on this street! They all heard it!

voice;

[bestever]

When in doubt, apply the fridge rules. If it'd keep a hungry roommate away, it's probably legit in the dibs protocol.

permavoice;

[bestsword]

[hhhhh epsilon oh wait. wait.]

So basically what you're saying is I should not only write my name on it, but should tape it up and then wrap chain locks around it. Got it.

[Like look. He knows you're both AI but when is he ever not going to pass up this joke.]

Voice

[megabytes]

Um...I don't think writing your name on something counts as calling dibs? That's just making sure people know it was yours in the first place.

permavoice

[bestsword]

[WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE THERE SO MANY KIDS WHAT DID HE DO.]

It's the same thing!

[inmyothertights]

Did you pay for the house?

[bestsword]

It's the one I got issued but there wasn't a claim on it yet so it totally counted as free game.

text; (ID: Maine)

[maime]

[Ok but there's a more important question that isn't being asked here.]

Is this a normal argument for your team

permavoice

[bestsword]

Yeah, this is pretty standard "must be Tuesday" kinda shit for us.

[This is what you guys were using as training, Maine. Do you feel disappointed yet.]

video | id reads "karen starr"

[boobwindow]

If you pay rent... I suppose.

permavoice

[bestsword]

Oh please like anyone else here thinks twice about calling these places "their" house when they talk about it. Same thing.

video;

[moneylogues]

...You seriously called dibs on your house?

[He almost forgot you people are all idiots for a moment, thanks for the reminder.]

permavoice

[bestsword]

[These are the guys that will eventually out-fucking-smart you, Felix. They just don't know it yet.]

Look, you live with Church for six years, you learn to call dibs on anything you get your hands on.

voice

[heavyhitter]

Oh, my god. I am so fucking happy to see dibs still works in space.

voice

[fuckai]

Why wouldn't dibs work in space? It's a fucking international protocol!

[Sry for your eardrums]

action

[fuckai]

[Okay, but despite all the yelling and bitching Church has been doing, he actually seems pretty goddamn chill on Tucker's couch.

How the couch is holding up under his armor weight the world may never know, but hey. Here he is.]

Hey. [Where the hell is-] Tucker. [... okay, maybe a little louder-] Tucker!

[Is he outside? Probably. Maybe. Either that or flirting with one of the girls on the post or ignoring him or... Eh, whatever, he'll switch on the loudspeakers in his suit anyway. Just to accent the yelling]

Dude! Why is everyone here such a fucking dumbass?

[bestsword]

[The yelling carries all the way upstairs where he was setting up a barricade at the top of the stairs (fuck you asshole you're not getting up to the bedrooms, THEY ARE OFF LIMITS.) He calls back down:]

Dude, what the hell!

And I don't know!

video;

[amadaman]

... Who's the other person?

video;

[fuckai]

I'm the other person. [Because that's helpful.] Church.

[..... though, since Wash pointed out that he's not doing himself any favors with getting mistaken for goddamn Epsilon...]

The other Church. [UGH] Church A, Church 1 or whatever the fuck you want to use.

[voice]

[outlawrain]

Well... why would you wanna call dibs on a house here anyways? There's a buncha 'em and they all seem the same anyways.

You should just call dibs on the best bed.

[bestsword]

Oh, I'm already calling dibs on everything above the first floor.

But it's a matter of principal, man. Wherever I go, he's gonna try to call dibs just to spite me like the angry sack of shit he is.

( audio )

[abadidea]

[Even after he hits record, there's a few seconds of pausing...because really?]

Uh...no. Sorry. You can't just steal somebody's house.

[bestsword]

Fucking. Thank you. He already has his own place, he doesn't need this one too!

[And he calls to someone off screen:] YOU HEAR THAT, ASSHOLE?