VIDEO; a public service announcement

[glitterateur]

[Aw, look, it’s a cute little preteen! And she is definitely not in jail. Though she does look very serious (in her very serious sweater) as she addresses the camera.]

Hi! For anybody I don’t know, my name’s Mabel! Mabel Pines. And today I have good news and also bad news that has some good news? The totally good news is that I’m doing sweater commissions! So if anybody needs a last minute Hanukkah gift or something for Christmas or any other holiday, just let me know. All I need is a size and what design you want and you’ve got it! My rates are very reasonable.

Now the bad news! So... people might have seen that video on the network last week? The creepy one where the guy who looks like my brother was all like today I’m gonna walk on glass and freak everybody out? Well-- long story short but that’s actually not Dipper! That’s a demon. His name’s Bill and he’s pretty evil and also he can take over people’s bodies. [She looks off camera for a second before continuing.]

Which is all kinds of freaky, right? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! There're ways to tell if you're dealing with him or not.

[She holds up a pair of visual aids to the screen. Marvel at this 13 year old's artistic skills.]

And I’ve got these in helpful pamphlet form, too, for anybody who wants. See, I told you there was more good news! So, just to recap-- creepy wrong pupils is bad, triangles are extra bad, and please don’t just punch Dipper or anyone else you might suspect before you check for the warning signs.

--oh and if you’re gonna call us probably don’t call Stan first? It’s bad if his communicator thing goes off during one of his [Airquotes:] “business deals.” It scares the pugs.

[Mabel gives the camera a thumbs up!! Before turning it off.]

Comments

video | id reads "power girl"

[boobwindow]

[ Peej doesn't have a rad sweater, but she does have a lovely red cape. ]

A demon? I should've figured no kid would willingly do that... [ She runs a hand down her face in exasperation. ] Is that him? The... triangular creature?

video

[glitterateur]

Yep! That's what he looks like when he's not in somebody's body. It's weird.

video

[boobwindow]

[ She thinks the top hat is just a childish edition and not... genuine. ]

And creepy. He doesn't look like a demon, but I'll take your word for it.

How do you know him?

[glitterateur]

He's from home! Kinda. He invaded my uncle's brain one time and then he took over my brother's body and crashed my sock opera.

[boobwindow]

Does he normally target your family?

[glitterateur]

We've only had to deal with him for a couple of months, but-- yeah, I guess? I don't think he's bothered anybody else.

[boobwindow]

Has he been bothering you since the other week?

[ Does she need to make a bad attempt to crush this dorito? ]

[glitterateur]

Nope. But we've been really careful since he showed up! Like we've been checking people's eyes before they come into the house and stuff.

[And she's managed to be paranoid for multiple days. In a row!]

[boobwindow]

I don't know if that's foolproof... could some kind of magical ward keep him out?

[glitterateur]

That's what we've got at home! And my grunkles are working on making one here since we don't have all the ingredients we need to do the other one.

[boobwindow]

Ingredients?

[glitterateur]

You know, like lizard eyes and unicorn hair. Stuff that makes spells work!

[boobwindow]

Actually... no, I don't.

[ Ew. ]

Isn't there someone you can ask? There's a number of magical imPorts who could probably st up a barrier of some sort.

[glitterateur]

I'm on it! I've got the best wizard in the world working on helping my grunkles figure it out. Plus a friend of mine might be able to give us some help too. ["""help,""" thanks peter pan.] I think it's gotta be a really specific kinda barrier? I didn't read that part of the journal I was mostly distracted by the unicorns.

[boobwindow]

Well... that's good to hear. If he's dangerous and targeting your family, it's best to get that done as soon as possible.

What's the "deal" thing about?

[glitterateur]

It's what it sounds like! He offers to do something for someone in exchange for something, but what he says he wants isn't actually what he wants? Like he told my brother he just wanted a puppet and then when Dipper agreed Bill took his body.

[boobwindow]

A puppet? That sounds sketchy no matter what.

[glitterateur]

Well when it happened we were getting ready for my sock puppet opera! So there were tons of actual puppets everywhere, so it was an easy mistake to make?

[boobwindow]

[ Okay, this is officially weird. ]

Uh, I guess... that happens.

Will he try to make deals here? How powerful is he?

[glitterateur]

[#pineslife]

He'll totally try to make deals here! He's already sorta made one with a friend of ours. And we don't know how powerful he is 'cause the porter messes with everything.

[boobwindow]

Who made a deal with him?

[glitterateur]

A friend of ours. [Stay vague! For the sake of privacy!] But we've got that handled? He's smart and he can take care of himself so...

[boobwindow]

You don't have to be afraid to tell me. I'm one of the good guys and I'll do everything I can to protect you and your friends.

[glitterateur]

...his name's Ken! He's our age, and he lives in Nonah.

[boobwindow]

[ Shit. ]

Thank you. I [ know him... ] have definitely seen his face around the network, so I know who I'm looking for.