Video

[shotgunsolutions]

[The man that appears on the screen is rather scrawny looking, thin, with a large beakish nose and squinting eyes. He's dressed in an impeccable suit that he straightens a moment before his free hand goes to his hair and he starts fixing the very purposeful styling that had gone oh-so-slightly awry upon porting in. The spiked points along his forehead where carefully pinched back into place as he used the video function as a sort of mirror while he began addressing those watching.]

Well. This is a fine affair I've seemed to find myself in. I was rather hoping it was one big joke. A poor joke, but a joke all the same.

[A pause as he shuts his mouth and moves the camera so he can see the back and sides of his head to ensure they were properly spiked upward and forward the way he preferred.]

But having found myself wandering the cities referred to as 'porter cities', I've been forced to acknowledge that it isn't.

[He sighs and pulls the camera away to better take in himself and the room he was standing in. A bedroom of an assigned house. The sort most would be familiar with.]

Which unfortunately means I've been told I'm expected to live in this... squalor... until I'm able to afford a better place on my own.

[Being one of the commonly assigned homes in the suburbs, it was far from what most would consider 'squalor'. Even Oswald didn't actually consider it that, just that it wasn't where he wanted to be nor did it fit what he felt he deserved to live in after all he'd been through.]

That will take a little time. Even for me. Until then, I'm entertaining offers of more suitable homes that I can take residence in.

[A bright smile. As if his presence in a home would be a high honor.]

Oh, yes. How rude of me. Introductions. My name is Oswald Cobblepot, Mayor of Gotham.


[[[ooc: One of Oswald's powers is that he just sort of mildly reminds people of a bird. Should his face be covered, there's more that goes on, but in his current state, he just kind of gives off a vague impression of a bird. If you'd like to opt out of this power and the rest of what it does, you can do so here.

Comments

[justaskalice]

[Great, more politicians. Like they NEED more of those.]

You just missed the elections, Mayor.

[shotgunsolutions]

The ones for Ambassador of... whatever it was.

[So unimpressed.]

Yes. I was informed that they had just concluded. I hardly see why that's relevant. Even had I been here for them, I don't believe I'd have any reason to run for them.

[justaskalice]

[To be honest, Newt himself only knows it was for Maurita Falls because he's got a place there and because of Logan's bribes. Otherwise he's been kind of out of the loop.]

Oh, right because it's squalor. Because why be a politician and represent a people if there's not appropriate luxury and kickbacks, right?

[shotgunsolutions]

No.

[He snorts and rolls his eyes.]

Because I am not a man of their city or representative of any peoples here. It's not really my place to run for such a position. I ran in Gotham because the people demanded there be someone they trust in the office after too long with the corrupt ignoring their plight in favor of those... kickbacks. I was the one they trusted.

[A very smug smile.]

[justaskalice]

Trusted. A politician. Right! A real hero of the people, I'm sure.

video;

[setmatch]

A shame you just missed the elections for ambassador of our little imPort community.

But do tell, just what 'squalor' of a city did you end up in?

[ Sorry Oswald this is not the Theo Galavan you are looking for. He just looks and sounds like him. ]

video;

[shotgunsolutions]

You're the second person to say that to me. As if it would-

[Oswald hadn't been looking at the screen when the new respondent started speaking. He was now. And his face went from annoyed to furious. He was spitting mad and he screamed at the screen.]

Where are you?! I'm going to shove this umbrella down every hole I can find and make a few new ones while I'm at it!

video;

[setmatch]

No thank you, I'm not into that.

[ YIKES what set him off?! ]

With a threat like that, however, I don't believe I should be telling you where my lodgings are.

video;

[shotgunsolutions]

I'll find out anyway. And when I do, you're dead, Galavan! DEAD! And this time, I will find a way to keep you there!

[Threatening murder to complete strangers over an open communication device. No big.]

[video]

[viciousmaukery]

[Hey, it's your roommate the heavily tattooed tiefling who's also the reason why the interior of the house is an eyesore. A very colorful eyesore with little golden trinkets everywhere.]

Nothing wrong with a splash of color here and there, surely.

[video]

[shotgunsolutions]

[Sorry, dude, you're talking to a guy whose entire wardrobe consists of black, black, more black, maybe a dark grey or dark blue pinstripe, and only a few accents of red, blue, or purple.]

If it was only a little splash it wouldn't be so bad. But you've made the whole house look like a cash for gold pawn shop!

[video]

[viciousmaukery]

It also looks very inviting. You could use some of the decorations as—conversation pieces, let’s say. [Gosh, he really misses Fjord right about now. This guy is going to take some getting used to.]

If you want, I can make the living room look less inviting, [which is an offer he makes with some reluctance, but the guy’s agitated enough] but the dining room stays the same. The curtains stay too. And do try not to throw anything out, they’re all very expensive.

[He bought half this shit at a garage sale.]

[video]

[shotgunsolutions]

Maybe sentimentally. But I could find half of these in the bargain bin of a dollar store if I was forced to go in one.

[This guy actually knows his shit when it comes to appraisal. He kind of has to know if what he's laundering, fencing, or buying is worth anything.]

And it's not inviting. It's...

[He didn't even have a word for it. At least with his mother's house it had all be porcelain and lace and muted colors.]

Do whatever you want with the place. I do not intend to stay for long so it's of no consequence. Just keep it away from the bedroom I've claimed.

[ video ]

[nightmarist]

[Ronan typically ignores these posts, but something about this one has caught his eye, and now he's intrigued. There's a bird-like quality to Ronan, too, but there's a bit of snake and shark in there along with it. Not a single feature that inspires trust.]

Shouldn't you be the one making offers?

[ video ]

[shotgunsolutions]

I hardly think anyone would want to move into this place if everyone is 'assigned' a similar room and board set up upon arrival. Offering it as an abode doesn't make much sense.

[The idea that he'd need to offer any reason for someone to invite him to move in doesn't cross his mind just yet.]

[nightmarist]

Of course not. But why would anyone else offer their place to you? Are you a master at cooking breakfast or organizing closets? Are you exceptionally pleasing to the eye in a way the camera doesn't do justice? I don't like politicians, so you'll have to sell yourself in some other way.

[shotgunsolutions]

I am hardly a politician. I was elected mayor because the other candidate was corrupt and all previous mayors had been as well. The people wanted someone they could trust. I lead them in driving some terrible monsters from the city and they practically insisted I run when one of our previous mayors attempted to retake the position without an election.

[He shrugged.]

I'm not really a good cook, but I'm an excellent dresser. And I'm loyal to my friends. I keep any promises I make and I'm very trustworthy, I assure you.

[exceptionalthief]

And the benefits of having you as a roommate are... what, exactly?

[shotgunsolutions]

[How dare you suggest the benefits aren't obvious! He's a Mayor. How scandalous of you.

He tilts his head, taken back a little. Then laughs and shrugs as if it's obvious he is the benefit.]

I'm a very quiet person.

[Sometimes]

I keep to myself.

[He snoops all the time]

I will never leave the house in less than the best.

[As long as he has the best to wear.]

I'm very quick on learning the ins and outs of the local scenes, from the docks to the clubs or wherever the people here like to socialize.

[Actually true.]

And once I've had time to gather some resources beyond the position the government has so... generously provided for me, I will be more than happy to contribute to any household needs. I'm very good company.

[Depending on your definition of 'good'.]

[exceptionalthief]

[He's not the mayor of anything here, so no one cares.]

You don't seem very quiet.

[Given the whole opening harang.]

Is this what you call looking your best?

[A little judgment from Mr. Impeccably Groomed in a Designer Suit.]

[shotgunsolutions]

I have to be talkative on this thing. That's the point of it, isn't it?

[He happens to be impeccably groomed (now that his hair is fixed) and in a custom tailored suit himself. Everything he wore was custom and expensive. If perhaps dated to the sort of thing Hollywood in the 30s, 40s, and 50s would be spitting out. Still, though, quality.]

Well, I did arrive not long ago and was unfortunately man-handled by those trying to rush me out the door while I asked much needed questions and got little in the way of answers. A hair out of place is easily fixed, however. And I have done so.

Now, is that all you wanted or will you be offering a more fitting venue?

vid - this is late and im sorry but god i love him

[knaval]

Bit weird to be picky about free residence, mate. Those government ones are good. Sturdy, too.

...Unless you're in Maurtia Falls, then yeah, I get you.

Re: vid - this is late and im sorry but god i love him

[shotgunsolutions]

Nonah.

[You know... Even having witnessed death people brought back to life with weird powers and super human changes, they'd still been human. Having what looked like a talking multi-colored refrigerator, or something like that, on the screen was enough to jar him a bit. Though he did a good job of hiding it well.]

What's wrong with Maurtis Falls?

[knaval]

S'fucked, mate. [said with a shrug.] They always get hit when everything goes wrong.

[shotgunsolutions]

Yes, but what's the problem with the housing? Is it a slumlord nightmare compared to this?

[ he could care less about the city itself having issues. Every city had issues. He'd dare say that unless the murder rate was even half as high as Gotham's, the problems there couldn't be that bad.]